School closes for memorial

[memorial]

Small village primary school, about 120 children from nursery to Yr 6.
A young girl is diagnosed with a brain tumour a few years ago, and died last week. She has a younger sibling in the school. Obviously all the teachers are heartbroken.
But a lot of the children and parents dont know her or her family. Her year group are now in Year 7 so have left the primary.
The school is closing early at 12pm for the memorial. There are obviously a fair number of families who wont go as they have no link or ties to this little girl. But equally all the teachers want to go, and there will be a good number of children and families going.
The memorial is at 1:30pm very close to the school.
There are some disgruntled parents that the whole school is closing.
I am purposefully not saying which side of this I am on.
Is the school BU to close early?

Amybear, teachers are HUMAN, not robots with 'responsibilities' ffs. The few selfish people on this thread are really depressing me. Thank goodness for the majority, without compassion the human race are doomed.

I went to a massive school and a pupil died in tragic circumstances. If I remember correctly her whole class and any others including her teachers all attended the funeral and there was a service for the whole school.

I work in a big company and when a member of staff died all those who wanted to were given leave to attend the funeral without taking leave. Its basic compassion, a little girl died, her friends and teachers need to mark her passing, she only left 9 months ago.

The school is not being unreasonable

I pity the dc of the parents who think the school shouldn't close.

Am only responding to OP but school is most definitely absolutely not being unreasonable. If my kids school did this whether or not I knew the family I would be impressed and touched.

A friend of mine died a few weeks after he has left my school as in after the last year of 6th form so he wasn't a current pupil. My school held a memorial and built a permanent sculpture type thing in the garden. He has spent a good chunk of his life at our school and was well remembered by current pupils.
The school is not being unreasonable in any way

I haven't RTFT but my DSs go to a small school, there are 4 teachers + the head.

The staff and the children know each other really well.

Before we came to the school, a girl who attended died of brain tumour. Something like that has a lasting effect. Small schools have to close for this sort of thing as there is no cover!

A tree was planted in her memory in front of the school. Everyone - including my DSs (and obviously me!) - knows about her and why the tree is there.

The school is NBU & to you Mrs D.

It's not a school trip, Baltimore! I imagine that there will be a lot of tears from staff at the service. It would be extremely difficult to try to hold it together while being responsible for other people's children, or risk upsetting them further by sobbing.

For the two fretting about childcare, I'm sure they'll make up the time at the end of term, like they do if it snows. A day that is normally a half day will become a full day, or they'll tack an extra half day somewhere.

Have some compassion.

We had this when I was at school. I reckon the little girl must have been about 6 when she passed away. I didn't really know her because, looking back, she was not in the class a lot due to hospital stays.

FWIW I am very grateful for how the school handled it. I think we must have closed for the afternoon for the funeral, but we talked a lot about that little girl with our teachers, and it made a lot of very young children begin to deal with death.

We felt so sorry for her and her family. And I think about her now and then, even though I can't remember her full name. It was so sad, but I feel that we honoured her.

So OP,
Please ignor the naysayers.

A child has died and some people thing it's unreasonable for people who have played a key part in that child's life to want to attend the memorial. Shocking attitude.

It's half a day being slightly inconvienienced, they need to get over themselves.

Like the poster above I often think of the girl and how awful things happen that change everything forever. For the child's parents to see she was loved by her school community is important. Those teachers and many of the children and parents must be devastated. The moaners should thank their lucky stars their children are OK.

Mrs DV, I am so sorry for your loss, and ignore the few insensitive comments. As you can see most people are kind and compassionate.
This is the most awful thing I have ever experienced and she isnt my child or in my family. No way to even describe or understand the loss of a child.
Whilst I can actually understand why the parents not involved are annoyed, it was the gossiping in a rather bitchy manner in the playground which threw me and made me wonder if I was too close to understand.
Be annoyed by all means, but not in public, not at school, where someone who cared about her and her family might hear. They were huddled, glancing around so well aware it wasnt really on.
I was just so shocked, all my usual bolshiness disappeared.

The few selfish people on this thread are really depressing me.

How is anyone selfish/unselfish by giving opinions on a thread about people they don't know, and have nothing to lose or gain from?

What is the world coming to when having to sort out a few hours of childcare is more important than supporting a family who has lost a child, whether you knew the family or not?
Those that are complaining about it should take the time to celebrate the fact they have their children with them still, and appreciate that they get the time to spend with their own children when another family, tragically, will never be able to do it again.
Those who have commented saying the school is unreasonable really should be ashamed of themselves. What a disgraceful attitude to have.

ANYONE has the right to time off work for a funeral
Except actually they don't! Very often workplaces can't just shut down.Those that go represent everyone.That is why they have those little cards at funerals where you write on your name and who you are representing.
This is in no way showing disrespect or loss of thought and love for the family.In fact I always write a letter to anyone I know who is bereaved.It is the way I was brought up.I am sure they don't hold it against me on the occasions I can't get to the funeral.

What are your jobs that it's SUCH an inconvenience to have an afternoon off? Are you the prime minister or something? Get a fucking grip. And if your jobs are so high powered and amazing as to not be allowed a few hours off then you can surely afford child care ?

Disgusting opinions on here. 'Inconvenience'!? God forbid you never have to experience the 'inconvenience' of a very sick child.

'I was so shocked all of my usual bolshiness disappeared'

Op I think witnessing those soul less individuals gossiping would have done exactly the same to me. How awful to witness such vile minds that think alike in their ugliness and voice it.

I think I'd have been rendered speechless.

Mrs Dv

amybear By displaying an attitude, by saying what you think you would think and would find acceptable. It's a selfish attitude to put childcare concerns ahead of unbearable, lifelong grief. Selfish is the wrong word, actually; it's too weak a word. And articulating these opinions is having an impact on some posters who've been in this position. Obviously you're free to post, but others are free to tell you what they think of the posts.

Please MrsDeVere don't think that lots of people think this way. Mumsnet is often out of sync with the real world.

My DC went, and still go, to a medium sized primary in London and I can just imagine the absolute shock should anything like this happen there. Because it is not just a school, it is a community. My daughter left six years ago but if she went back she would get hugged by her old teachers and people would be so pleased to see her.

People that complain about things like this are so disconnected from their community, it's just shocking.

A few years back a child in DDs class died in an RTA 2 days into the summer holidays. So although we had no reason to close the school, this is what happened. A teacher phoned around the parents to let them know the child had passed away, when the funeral was and also to say they wanted the school choir to sing if DD wanted to join them. (DD was friends with the child so didn't feel strong enough to sing in the choir) the school also arranged councillors to come into school during the holidays to support the children.

You see, even though there was no reason to close the school, they recognised that the school community is a family unit in its own right and as a school community we needed to come together and support each other. The head and teachers took a big role in the service and the choir sang. I believe they were a big support to the family.

Apart from that, there were a lot of very young children trying to comprehend the death of their friend/peer. That is a very big deal to a child and to expect them to brush it under the carpet and carry on as normal is not productive in helping their grief or understanding. OP your school is absolutely nub

My primary school closed for the afternoon when a teacher died suddenly 25 years ago. I dont remember my parents complaining about it, I do remember all of the teachers crying in assembly though.

Anyone with a heart wouldn't need to think twice about this.

OP be grateful the complainers have revealed themselves. You need never waste another second of your life on them.

Firstly Mrs DV u am so sorry for your loss and that you have had to read the comments in here from such selfish and emotionless posters. I also hope that that the parents or relatives of the child are not on here to read what an inconvienience they have been.
Amy and Baltimore I think you should leave the thread now. Your attitudes have upset a lot of people. This is a primary school - where teachers stay for years and pupils know everything about each other - in a small community. In any other job where someone had worked for 7 years it would not be am issue - a company with 120 odd staff would probably close. I cannot believe that anyone could be so hard faced and emotionless that they would complain about having to look after their kids for an less than two hours to allow people to mourn the death of a child. I am hiding this thread as I itnisnthe sort of thing that makes me fear the human race.

This is the (sorry enraged fingers)