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AIBU?

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Original poster

School closes for memorial

384 replies

memorial · 16/05/2015 19:13

Small village primary school, about 120 children from nursery to Yr 6.
A young girl is diagnosed with a brain tumour a few years ago, and died last week. She has a younger sibling in the school. Obviously all the teachers are heartbroken.
But a lot of the children and parents dont know her or her family. Her year group are now in Year 7 so have left the primary.
The school is closing early at 12pm for the memorial. There are obviously a fair number of families who wont go as they have no link or ties to this little girl. But equally all the teachers want to go, and there will be a good number of children and families going.
The memorial is at 1:30pm very close to the school.
There are some disgruntled parents that the whole school is closing.
I am purposefully not saying which side of this I am on.
Is the school BU to close early?

OP posts:
Moreisnnogedag · 17/05/2015 15:36

Why would you put yourself through two days? I can't imagine how singularly awful that day is going to be and I can't imagine having to do it again for a few who lack basic human compassion.

I send my dc not to some impersonal office but somewhere they can learn not just academic stuff but about how to be a caring person.

ConfusedInBath · 17/05/2015 15:46

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MrsDeVere · 17/05/2015 15:59

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Moreisnnogedag · 17/05/2015 16:02

It was more for those saying as it wasn't the funeral but 'just' a memorial that it could be arranged for the weekend. That actually no it couldn't.

Can you imagine it? Having to either look after your own dc or ask someone else to. I get that it may be difficult but hey ho, suck it up.

ConfusedInBath · 17/05/2015 16:10

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donemekmelarf · 17/05/2015 16:28

I think it's a wonderful gesture on the part of the school to honour this little girl's memory.
It's not as if they are closing the school for the whole day, just closing an hour or so earlier and as somebody said, it must bring great comfort to her family to know that people care enough to close a school a bit early.
Any parent that moans about about it is being a bit heartless and lacking compassion-
Whether they knew the child or not is neither here nor there. A child has died.

hollieberrie · 17/05/2015 17:17

People in this country are very bad at dealing with death and bereavement. The only compassionate reasons I can think of for the nastiness of the playground bitches and some nasty posters on here are lack of emotional intelligence and fear of death itself.

This. I recently lost my Mum out of the blue, total shock and she was quite young. Some people's inability to empathise really did shock me, i can only assume its what you describe here Derxa.

YANBU at all OP, i will be thinking of you and hope the memorial is a lovely and fitting tribute to the little girl. My heart goes out to her poor family.

hotdogsandmustard · 17/05/2015 17:43

I have read this thread and some of the posts have made me gasp in disbelief

Sadly I have attended more than one child's funeral and amy believe me people don't go to get out of work .

I hope one day both you , amy and baltimore grow up and learn about respect , compassion and empathy

My heart goes out to mrsDV and stinky who have had to read some really vile posts after what they have been through

Mehitabel6 · 17/05/2015 17:52

Well said hotdogsandmustard- some people are utterly unbelievable. Sad

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 17/05/2015 19:26

I can't believe there is a thread about this.

I'm so glad the school used good old common sense and are closing the school for the afternoon.

I can't even imagine what parents who have loss their child live through every day. I don't think there is word to describe that emotion.

DonVitoCorleone · 17/05/2015 19:48

If a child died from my sons school i would expect the school to close as a mark of respect, and anyone who even bats an eyelid about it is an idiot. People are so bloody selfish

SolidGoldBrass · 17/05/2015 20:00

I am getting really uncomfortable with the demonizing of people who might have expressed frustration and distress over the closure of the school. None of you know what's going on in their lives, and while the loss of a child is, I agree, about the worst thing that can happen to anyone, that doesn't mean that other bad things don't a) happen and b) consume all the attention of the person they are happening to.
The OP said that there are several families who didn't know the child in question or the bereaved family. If members of those families are dealing with their own difficulties (which you all know nothing about, remember) - possible eviction, a cancer diagnosis within their own family, impending bankruptcy, miscarriage, having to commit a relative to a care home, whatever, then an unexpected school closure which relates to someone they don't know might well feel like the last straw. It doesn't make you a monster to be more concerned with the problems facing you and your immediate family than those of a stranger.

MrsDeVere · 17/05/2015 20:05

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Maryz · 17/05/2015 20:06

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pieceofpurplesky · 17/05/2015 20:07

Actually solid it does - if you are someone doing through those types of difficulties i would imagine you have MORE compassion to the death of a child -
Mum dying if cancer - therefore no sympathy to child dying is the same!!!! Hmmm
Just had a miscarriage -Must have no sympathy toParents whose child died ...
Bullshit. Sorry.

EmeraldThief · 17/05/2015 20:08

SolidGoldBrass no one is demonising anyone, and I don't disagree with you about parents having the right to feel frustration if a school is closed, but one poster has been so heartless and cold in the way she has expressed herself that its unspurprismg that emotions are running quite high, especially when there are bereaved parents posting on here.

3littlefrogs · 17/05/2015 20:09

I am shocked but not surprised that some parents are grumbling.
There are some dreadfully selfish, ignorant and entitled people about.

Poor little girl and poor family. Sad

grapejuicerocks · 17/05/2015 20:21

pig I wasn't complaining, that's why I said most people would take their children out, as would I. My suggestion of supply staff was to appease those who would moan. I absolutely wouldn't have a problem with the school closing.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 17/05/2015 20:27

just a thought amy, your initials wouldn't be KH would they?? I bet you're a big fan of hers.

how can people be so downright heartless.

ConfusedInBath · 17/05/2015 20:35

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Alanna1 · 17/05/2015 20:37

Of course the school is not unreasonable! The poor parents.

derxa · 17/05/2015 21:13

hollieberrie I'm sorry for your loss. You've got it. I understand bereavement having been through so much of on so many levels. People have not always been kind. I try to help where I can.

Happybodybunny12 · 17/05/2015 21:25

SGB I usually find that it's the very people who are suffering troubles and understand life's difficulties are the first to help others.

Those whose lives have been easy and pleasent financially and socially are the ones who are least likely to lift a finger to help or empathise in any way.

kali110 · 17/05/2015 21:25

Not Demonised at all the one poster has just been particularly heartless and insensitive.

Starlightbright1 · 17/05/2015 21:28

I am very sorry for anyone posted or reading this thread who has lost a child...

I have shed a few tears on this thread, the thought of losing a child is heartbreaking that no parent should have to go through

I remember a buy who had leukemia dying when I was 5( 40 years ago ) I was talking to my friend last month and we both remember him. A death of a child is a huge thing.

The school in not BU , the loss of a child is devastating to a community