School closes for memorial

[memorial]

Small village primary school, about 120 children from nursery to Yr 6.
A young girl is diagnosed with a brain tumour a few years ago, and died last week. She has a younger sibling in the school. Obviously all the teachers are heartbroken.
But a lot of the children and parents dont know her or her family. Her year group are now in Year 7 so have left the primary.
The school is closing early at 12pm for the memorial. There are obviously a fair number of families who wont go as they have no link or ties to this little girl. But equally all the teachers want to go, and there will be a good number of children and families going.
The memorial is at 1:30pm very close to the school.
There are some disgruntled parents that the whole school is closing.
I am purposefully not saying which side of this I am on.
Is the school BU to close early?

I don't know that it does make you more compassionate when you are right in the middle of your own trauma - having suffered may make you more understanding of other people's suffering, but not necessarily straight away. It may work for some people, but for others, if something horrible is happening to you it consumes every minute of your time and every fraction of your energy.

As to 'school is not free childcare', well, tell that to the DWP and the sort of shitty employers a lot of people work for who will stop your money or fire you if you're not at work/miss your JSA Back To Work slot, even if you aren't there because your own kid is terminally ill.

A child at DS' school died last year: I think pupils were allowed time off to go to the funeral if they wanted to do so or it was thought appropriate. A letter was sent to all parents informing them of what had happened, but the school was not closed. However, DS' school is a huge school (about 800 pupils, five-form entry) and also has a lot of mobility (ie pupils not staying for long), because of where we are: DS didn't know the child in question. I think our HT was right in not closing, but I think the HT at the OP's school is also right for closing as it's a much smaller school with a lot more likelihood that the majority of pupils will know the family.

Of course the school wasn't unreasonable. Especially as a small village primary.

I'm a teacher in a school that cannot close in these situations or any others because
a) we are partially a boarding school
b) many of our day pupils live up to an hour away
c) many of our parents work full time in the kinds of jobs you can't leave

Since I've been there we have lost one child and one member of staff and having to deal with that while still working was really hard.

The staff member that died was a very close friend of mine and having to return straight back to the classroom after the funeral was embarrassing - it was obvious that I had been crying and the children didn't know where to look. I couldn't think straight and no learning was achieved. Most of the staff went to the funeral and the school was supervised by the few very new members of staff who hadn't got to know him well and watched a video in the hall. Again, no education being received, just childcare.

With the child's funeral, we had to apply to the head for permission to go! Those of us who were teaching him at the time of his death went but not those who had taught him in the past. They had to stay behind with the confused and hurting children who also didn't go as it was deemed not appropriate (though I think that was probably a good decision).

It would have been better all around if we had been able to close on both occasions. Why on earth should a school than can close, not?!

The school is not being unreasonable, and it's a touching tribute. Hopefully those families who don't feel the need to attend the service will offer to entertain the children who are too young to attend or whose parents will struggle to take the afternoon off.

When I was about 12 a teacher died. I had never met her,
she was ill when I started that school, but it being an RC school I was used to hearing her name in prayers.

The school did not close but we didn't have lessons that morning, the fifth years who had been taught by her went to the funeral.

We were all lined up outside the school for the hears to pass from the church to the graveyard.

When we got in to lessons afterwards the teacher started the lesson, than appologised and broke down in tears.

I don't think much learning was done that day by anyone. Well not 'school' learning, it was the first and only time I saw a teacher cry. I learned teachers are human.

Wow. The school is doing the rigt thing and even those who did not know the family should go, in my opinion. It shows a level of solidarity and support for the bereaved. Unbelievable attitudes.

School has certainly made the right decision. That poor family. Sadly during my school years we lost two children in my secondary school. One was in my year and my school did not close. Id known this girl since i was 7. She was the kindest person i know. Always laughing and everyones friend. She was ill from birth so could not do games. Age 13 she sadly died. Even though we know she was ill it was a shock. How could a 13 year old die? I remember the day of her funeral we, her year, were banned from going (her closest friend went) and i remember they forced us to do cross country. We all walked that course in tears. I dont think we had any lessons for the rest of day after that as the teachers had to deal with 120 crying or upset 13 year olds. I still am cross with my school was not allowing us to go. A couple of years later sadly in another year a boy died. His whole year was allowed to go to his funeral and several teachers. I think the school learnt. Anyone suggesting that this school should not close is heartless. to the girls family and to all those that have lost someone.

I work two half days a week in a school of 105 children. In a school of this size all children and staff know each other much better than outsiders may imagine. The current year six children will have probably been in a class with this poor girl last year. Her sibling's year group will obviously be affected, as will the year groups immediately above and below who are either currently in a mixed age class with the sibling or probably were last year. Her sibling deserves consideration and support too.

Additionally in a school of this size all the staff will know all the pupils. A school this size is such a close knit community. Some former pupils of my school are at the same secondary as my DS's - at a recent concert four of them came to speak to me and one gave me a kiss! With these types of close relationships between teachers and pupils I cannot imagine anyone on our staff not feeling the need to attend a memorial service in these circumstances.

To the poster who didn't want young children frightened about death; the school can't avoid mentioning it! What should they do, tell her younger sibling not to share their feelings, that their big sister's death must be kept a secret? Ban the younger sibling from school until they stop talking about it?

Finally to those talking about a funeral vs memorial, our vicar often holds a private service at the crematorium for the immediate family, then everyone moves to the church for a celebration of the deceased persons life. Therefore they take place on the same day an hour or so apart.