School closes for memorial

[memorial]

Small village primary school, about 120 children from nursery to Yr 6.
A young girl is diagnosed with a brain tumour a few years ago, and died last week. She has a younger sibling in the school. Obviously all the teachers are heartbroken.
But a lot of the children and parents dont know her or her family. Her year group are now in Year 7 so have left the primary.
The school is closing early at 12pm for the memorial. There are obviously a fair number of families who wont go as they have no link or ties to this little girl. But equally all the teachers want to go, and there will be a good number of children and families going.
The memorial is at 1:30pm very close to the school.
There are some disgruntled parents that the whole school is closing.
I am purposefully not saying which side of this I am on.
Is the school BU to close early?

I can't believe people actually suggested the teachers take the children. Taking children to events like a memorial, and dealing with their upset, answering their questions and the likes is the job of a parent. Not a teacher, especially not an upset teacher.

Even if you take all emotion out of it (though, not sure how you can) how much would it cost to staff an entire school for the day? And how totally impractical is it to have a school staffed by none of the usual staff? Or do people actually think someone should miss the service to facilitate this?

Everyone has a responsibility to have a back up plan in place for their child/ren. Schools can close with no notice - fire, broken heating etc... If someone doesn't have something set up to take their child for one afternoon that's not the school's fault. Even if you have no family, have to work etc, it's still not the school's fault. They are not a childcare facility.

Goodness gracious me. Some people need to take deep breaths and recognise that the world does not revolve on their axis.

To break it down for those who are struggling to understand this-
Schools are succesful when relationships are good. In a good school of someone dies that will be a cause for stillness and reflection from everyone. Teachers, the children, dinner ladies, janitors, lollipop people and, hopefully, the parents.

I attended the funeral of a child as a member of staff in a school. I didn't really know the child but I knew large numbers of those in attendance. It was traumatic and still haunts me but it was hugely important for us to be there.

It could be any one of us in the situation of bereaved parent.

I work in a medium sized inner city school and have done for 8 years. Over 200 children. I know practically all by name (despite quite a transients element), some families have 3/4 children and I often teach all children in a family. We also have the kids in our class for 2 years. That is 6 hours a day for 2 years then when that child leaves I often get their younger sibling. I see the same parents day in day out for literally years. It would be devastating if a child died and I couldn't say goodbye. Do teachers feelings not count? How can you spend that amount of time with a child and not develop a strong relationship? I don't think I'd be able to look at the parent in the eye ever again. Imagine the younger sibling, still attending the school and thinking no one cared enough to say goodbye.
In a smaller school where there is one class per year the child will have been taught be ever staff member, know every lunchtime supervisor, no doubt seen the caretaker everyday etc. schools are communities, families. It's is a sad world we live in when this isn't supported and encouraged. Some people need to get over themselves.

Beautifully put pig

we also try to attend the funerals of parents whenever we could. I remember one where we were along the back row and the faces on the children when they saw us was both wonderful and heartbreaking all at once.

Back at school one of the boys said "I saw you. I saw you there" and smiled. It was all he needed to say.

mrsdevere I so hope that this hasn't upset you too much.

I find it very hard to believe that the family would have been any less comforted by say 8 members of staff turning up as opposed to 10.If most of the children were at the memorial, a couple would have been all that was needed.
Fortunately I have not and hopefully will never be in the position of this family so i may be way off the mark.

There are some heartless cunts on this thread.

One afternoon? Honestly, I'm sure the little girls parents would love for their biggest concern to be finding childcare for the afternoon and not burying their daughter.

Passmethecrisps, when my father died my old primary school, which younger sibling still attended, brought all the children in my siblings year. We didn't know they were coming but the HT, both the teachers in that year and all the children attended. The school choir sang a hymn. It was greatly appreciated and very moving.

amybear if that is what you believe that is all that needs to be said. I am sure you could stand for Labour party leader and sort out all the woes they have but why stop there?

Enough amy

I think the school are right to close, especially as it's a small primary.

When I was in highschool a boy in some of my classes died from a cancer relapse. Our whole year group, approx 100 students,were given the day of his funeral off. If we hadn't officially been given the day off I think most would have bunked off with our parents' blessing. Pretty much all of us went to the funeral and the church was packed.

You'd have to be pretty heartless to be whining about having to arrange childcare for an afternoon when a family has lost a child.

I find the whole thread really upsetting. I am shocked that people are so incredibly selfish and self centred. Is child care all that matters to people nowadays?

The school are absolutely right to close.

So sad.

In the grand scheme of things, what is 3 hours of inconvenience compared to a lifetime without your child?

Some people need to get a grip!

Haven't read the whole thread yet but....

I'm assuming the parents who think the school is being unreasonable, are annoyed as they have to find alternative childcare

How terrible for them to have to find someone to look after their child who is ALIVE!!

granny that sounds quite lovely.

So typical of mumsnet.None of you seem to live in the real world where many many businesses could not and certainly would not, just close for the afternoon for any avoidable reason.
One place I worked a colleague's previously healthy child collapsed and died on the premises (undiagnosed heart condition) and we were open for business as usual the next day (after the police had given us the all clear).

Having now read, I see others have made the same point

Thank goodness not all people are so bloody heartless

In context it in only maybe two people who feel it isn't appropriate is it not?

It is so hard to look past these but the vast majority are supportive.

Good for you amy! I bet you all felt brilliant for your efforts

Am horrified that this is even up for debate.

Can't believe people are using the term deceased child and inconvenience in the same sentence.

The only people being unreasonable are the moaning parents (at school and on this thread).

Of course the school should close as long as the family agree with this.
I can't believe the heartlessness of some people on here, glad to see its a small minority.
Mrs DV, I'm sorry you've had to witness their crass comments.
I can only try and imagine how I'd feel if my child died.

When my DH died, six teachers including the Ht came to his funeral, it meant a lot to me and our children.

Passmethecrisps, it was. It was incredibly moving and even the most stiff upper lipped people were reduced to sobs at that point which I think is very cathartic. We lived in a rough inner city area, lots of immigrants, lots of people who didn't have much. The church was full to bursting with friends, family neighbours and other parents from the school, those people knew something about community which seems to be missing in alot of people.

I am not saying that was right but that is how the world works in reality.