School closes for memorial

[memorial]

Small village primary school, about 120 children from nursery to Yr 6.
A young girl is diagnosed with a brain tumour a few years ago, and died last week. She has a younger sibling in the school. Obviously all the teachers are heartbroken.
But a lot of the children and parents dont know her or her family. Her year group are now in Year 7 so have left the primary.
The school is closing early at 12pm for the memorial. There are obviously a fair number of families who wont go as they have no link or ties to this little girl. But equally all the teachers want to go, and there will be a good number of children and families going.
The memorial is at 1:30pm very close to the school.
There are some disgruntled parents that the whole school is closing.
I am purposefully not saying which side of this I am on.
Is the school BU to close early?

No the school INBU. This scenario is horribly close to home for me. The turnout of staff and familes from the school will mean an awful lot to the bereaved family. The disgruntled parents should thank their lucky stars they are not the ones facing a lifetime without their child.

School are nbu but neither are people unreasonable to find this an inconvenience. It is an inconvenience to have to find childcare/take time off work etc.

That said, some inconvenience is worth the benefits and anyone who publicly complains about closing for a dead child's memorial service needs a good shake.

The school is not BU. How awful poor little girl. I think the school are doing the right thing.
I'd suggest to the HT to put a letter out addressing this if they haven't already.
Some people have no heart.

Hmm. I am on the fence about this. In fact I am leaning off the fence to one side, somewhat. I understand it will be devastating for many people at the school who were connected to her, and of course those who knew her and wish to attend should be supported in doing so, and the school should put supply teachers or whatever in place as necessary, but life goes on and business as usual for everyone else who wasn't connected to her. For the whole school (which is a taxpayer funded public service) to close for something like this is a bit….hmm….I hate to say it, but…..unacceptable.

Parents still have to work, they have commitments, they still have to run around making alternative arrangements for childcare etc. It's hard enough enough to manage all that on inset days and polling days and days when it snows - we can't start shutting schools early on a whim every time something sad happens that only affects a small to medium percentage of the school community.

Sorry to sound hard hearted, but this is not a private family business where they can just stick a sign on the door saying 'be back in an hour.' This is a state funded public service. There should be contingency plans in place for things like this.

If state schools are going to make a huge fuss about children being taken on holiday during term time, and making sure they are present for their SATS etc, then they have to keep their end of the bargain too. GP surgeries and hospitals and job centres and council offices don't close down in their entirety for a funeral, so why a school? It's not like it's a head teacher who has been there 20 years.

A girl at my primary school died and I remember us all outside the school as her hearse passed and then we were led to the church for her funeral. I still remember every one crying it was so so sad.

School NBU.
Arsey inconvenienced people need a long hard fucking head wobble.
for you OP x

God don't suggest the Ht put out a letter! That's giving undue significance to a minority of thoughtless/tactless/nasty people.

:(

Imagine this AIBU:

I'm a year 6 teacher in a small local school. Last year I taught a lovely little girl. She'd been at the school since reception and was well known and liked by all the teachers. Her little sister is in year 2 at the moment.

Last week she died of cancer after a very long battle.

Her funeral is next week but I can't go and neither can the rest of the staff because the head refuses to allow any of us leave. he's going as a representative of the school instead. AIBU to think he should consider closing hte school for a few hours as a mark of respect and so that all of those who taught and cared about this little girl should be able to say good bye to her.

I strongly suspect most mumsnetters would say the teacher wasn't being unreasonable.

So sad OP

Actually you are wrong ItsRaning. My doctors surgery is closed this Tuesday afternoon for the funeral of a staff member.

It's a really small village and school, there are a lot with ties to the family. I think it's a mark of respect. My children have been going to the school for over 10 years and there has never been anything like this before.
This isn't just something sad, it's a child's death who has been a part of this community her whole short life.

Baltimore
Are you actually for real????
Heartless!
All this state funded rubbish
You'd take an extra day off if the government decreed neccesary on the death of a royal I'm sure!
So shut up with your inconsiderate talk!

The school are being wonderfully supportive of their community.

Op I'm incredibly sorry for this loss x

The parents are very unreasonable to stand around moaning about it. Moaning about it isn't going to sort out childcare, they need to just sort it out and have some compassion

Bloody hell. The parents need to imagine losing their child and get a fucking grip. Arseholes.

Hang on the girl was an EX-pupil.
It is sad but I think it is wrong for the school to close.Some teachers could have represented the rest, or better yet have an in-school memeorial with the family's permission.
Sadly when your DC get to secondary school, by the law of averages 2 or 3 children will die during your child's time there in a typical 1000 pupil school.The school doesnot close, let alone for when a former pupil dies.

Just to tell you a story from my career. A teacher dies. He had left the school a year earlier, so the previous school year. A huge comprehensive in London, so most pupils in the school had never come across him. Also only some of the staff knew him. ( A very large staff and a high turn over).

Staff in his department applied to go to the funeral. keep in mind, he had been part of some of their daily lives for over a decade. This was refused, he was not a relative, and he was not even a current member of staff.

This happened 5 years ago. the department has not even been 50% fully staffed since, the school lost the goodwill of the entire department, the post holders resigned their posts, a large proportion of the department started looking for new jobs, and within a few terms most had found them.

In this current climate, teachers simply cannot be replaced. That department is still filled with temporary agency staff.

I know there have to be rules and regulations around funeral attendance, but sometimes strength of love just cannot be classified, and goodwill is priceless.

I had left the school myself, and was working in a school where the dead teacher had never had any connection ever. I applied for funeral leave. My head said " I'm sure you wouldn't be asking if you didn't need to go". I was the only member of his old department to be allowed to go, and my head kept my good will and loyal service for a further 5 years, until I chose to leave teaching.

One day of disruption, even full closure, would have been a small price to pay for being short staffed ever since!

The school is quite right to close.

Those self-centered parents need to get a fucking grip.

Another one saying the school is not BU. When I was at school, we were all spent an afternoon at the memorial service of a girl in the year below who had died. It felt absolutely right for us to go.

Baltimore - you need to gain some perspective. "Something sad"? A child dying is "something sad"??

A child losing its teddy on the bus is sad. A child losing her life is immeasurable sadness.

Do you have a child of your own? Please tell me you don't...

Ok ex but a GP surgery should be able to get locums in for the afternoon shoudn't they? And if they don't then they are letting their patients down.

However sad something like this is, it's a bit off to inconvenience people who have no connection whatsoever to the deceased and are paying for a public service which is disrupted. Imagine turning up at the rail station for the train to work and being told you can get to work by train today but you can't get back again, because someone died and all the staff will be at the funeral. Or needing food and turning up at Sainsbury's to find the whole place closed.

If someone dies at my DH's work a core group of people who knew them best will go along to pay their respects and it's business as usual for everyone else left holding the fort - many of whom would have barely known the deceased. However small the school I can't believe ALL the teachers knew this child well, and many of the parents would have no idea who she was. I think sentiments get the better of people's common sense here because it was a child.

life goes on and business as usual for everyone else who wasn't connected to her
We're talking about the death of a child - how fucking heartless.

Those parents need to have a word with themselves.
Utter twats.

I hope the little girls' parents are not aware of their twattery.

This happened to me listsandbudgets some years ago. A child in my class passed away. I was allowed to go to the church funeral as it was in the lunch hour, but not to the crematorium or the wake afterwards. No the HT did that - she who had never had much to do with him because she was nervous about dealing with needs. So OP thank goodness for a T like this one who shows humanity and thought for others ans is willing to say To hell with the rules. I hope she also gives each child an attendance mark.

anyone who moans in these circumstances is BVVVU, and possibly has some personality disorder/total lack of empathy.

Sometimes life is not all about US, what WE want and need.

OF COURSE the school INBU to do this, I would expect the same if a member of staff died.

Poor family. Utterly heartbreaking to lose a child. Utter fucking wankerish behaviour by a number of parents to moan about the school closing for three hours.

I am so sorry for the loss OP.
Baltimore - words fail me. It's an hour and a half that those parents who are not friends will have to look after their own kids, whilst the rest of the families go to support the family and say goodbye to a child. This child attended the primary for 7 years - will know all but the reception class (and probably knows some of them). It's a small school and I would hope if this happened at mine that the head would have the compassion to shit the school.
You sound awful Baltimore. A child died.