To cut of ties with brother for Islamophobic Views?

[Jacobsmum1972]

My brother had become increasingly hateful towards Muslims. His fb feed has been full of British Firsts articles to do with Rotherham and other bad stories linked towards the Islamic community.

He never used to be islamophobic, but really since a year ago he has gotten worse and worse. Which makes me believe groups like Isis and stories like Rotherham are fuelling his hatred.

He is about 10 years younger than me, so is in the islamophobic generation (press name). People who were teens during 9/11 and have had all their adolescent and young adult lives in a climate of fear.

This is not an excuse and obviously not all of he's generation are islamophobic.

I can no longer listen to his lies and hatred. I don't know what to do, I don't want to cause a massive row with my moter and have family tension.

I am not exactly worried that keeping a relationship with my brother will influence my dc beliefs about Muslims as they have been taught what is right and what Is wrong and that not all Muslims are bad etc. Although ds is very worried about me being killed in a terror attack.

What would you do.

Have you talked to him about it?

I have always said look at all the peaceful non radical Muslims and tried to challenge but it's no use, I have told him that it offends and upsets me but he continues. He can't understand that you can be upset and offended on other peoples behalf.

I've never heard of this 'islamophobic generation' and I say that as someone who was a teen during 9/11.

However, as far as your brother goes, have you ever challenged him on his views? If he's surrounded by people who think like that, then he'll never change. I do understand you not wanting your children being influenced by him though.

Can't remember where I read that islamophobic generation, I think they measured attacks on Muslims with age and connected it.

See if I had young dc I would be worried but their both mid teens so I'm less worried about his influence.

If you are willing to cut your brother out of your life because of his views on Islam then YABU. He is your brother.

He is about 10 years younger than me, so is in the islamophobic generation (press name)

Eh?

Can't remember where I read that islamophobic generation, I think they measured attacks on Muslims with age and connected it.

Sorry, I didn't refresh the page.

That sounds like piffle, quite honestly (on the part of the journalists/ researchers) and a little bit muddle-headed (on your part). Are you blaming him or his age? They seem like two complete extremes.

If this is a year-long phase of fuckwittery, perhaps it is reversible? Cutting him off means you won't have any good influence.

Keep making it clear you're not comfortable with it and challenging it too. Are you very close? You don't need to cut ties but if you feel you need to, then maintain a distance. If it is noticed and mentioned then be clear why.
Keeping up conversation though may mean one day he changes his mind. Also, has he said why he thinks this way? Or have you picked there's anyone who might influence him?

I think we should just forget the 'islamophobic generation' thing as people will disagree and it's not the point being made here I don't think.

i don't think YABU. If his views are hateful of people on the basis of religion, race, gender or sexuality then he is a bigot and shouldn't be around chidren.

He's likely to change his views as he matures!! You don't cut family off like this!

You are trying too hard to be what you view as pc.

Trying too hard by cutting him off I mean! Better to ignore him and not give him an audience til he outgrows it

He's entitled to his opinion sadly. I wouldn't cut off a family member that I otherwise love for that. I'd tell him categorically that I didn't want to hear his idiotic views and unfollow on FB. A big yawn if ever he mentions it.

I think you're being a bit Try Hard actually. He's your brother.

Lavenderice

'i don't think YABU. If his views are hateful of people on the basis of religion, race, gender or sexuality then he is a bigot and shouldn't be around chidren.'

Oh, the irony of defending a religion with all the things you've listed, that is all the things you've listed.

Didn't know my generation were known as the 'islamophobes'. Anyway, if my siblings were coming out with such racist (or any other discriminatory crap), I would certainly bring them on it. I would give them the opportunity to better themselves, if they chose to continue their lives in such a hateful way, I'd have to minimise contact with them. Family or not, I chose not to be around people like that, not worth wasting oxygen talking to them.

I am sure two adults can come to an arrangement never to mention a certain topic that does not affect their relationship or lives directly. Unfollow his posts on fb. He won't know and you'll be blissfully ignorant to his idiocy. I have done this with my own father (unbeknownst) and its worked wonders for our relationship. If he is otherwise an okay person and you love him then its worth a quick non confrontational request that its not debated or mentioned again.

This is very difficult I feel for you. It would upset me a lot. I think I would not cut ties, but I would write an email explaining your views fully and ask him never to mention his views in front of your or your dc. Obviously don't engage in any arguments/responses. Then immediately leave / hang up phone etc if he does bring it up. This is v hard to do but hopefully he'll get the picture. I would also not let him meet any of my friends and delete him from fb - in case I became associated with any of the racist posts. You should probably also explain to him how damaging his fb feed is - enough to get him fired from most jobs. Does he actually know any Muslims btw?

Maybe just mute him on Facebook so you don't have to see all his posts. Then you only have to deal with him in real life and don't get wound up by online crap.

Quite frankly I think just cutting off his tie would be too good for him OP.

I'd cut his goolies off.

Is that what you want people to say to congratulate you on your right-on attitude?

I did not post the generation thing as an excuse or explanation and did not mean to offend anyone of that generation sorry.

Stinkersmum I completely agree with you, I only included it here because it was relevant to the OP.

I can no longer listen to his lies and hatred. I don't know what to do, I don't want to cause a massive row with my moter and have family tension...ds is very worried about me being killed in a terror attack.

What kind of conversations do you have?

When I meet up with my family we talk about what's going to happen to Ser Jorah in Game of Thrones and the best route down the A12 and oh, that M&S lemon drizzle cake is nice.

Everyone is entitled to their views, its called democracy. Think yourself lucky you live in a country where you are able to speak about your views.

Limited we have them too