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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cut of ties with brother for Islamophobic Views?

142 replies

Jacobsmum1972 · 16/05/2015 18:30

My brother had become increasingly hateful towards Muslims. His fb feed has been full of British Firsts articles to do with Rotherham and other bad stories linked towards the Islamic community.

He never used to be islamophobic, but really since a year ago he has gotten worse and worse. Which makes me believe groups like Isis and stories like Rotherham are fuelling his hatred.

He is about 10 years younger than me, so is in the islamophobic generation (press name). People who were teens during 9/11 and have had all their adolescent and young adult lives in a climate of fear.

This is not an excuse and obviously not all of he's generation are islamophobic.

I can no longer listen to his lies and hatred. I don't know what to do, I don't want to cause a massive row with my moter and have family tension.

I am not exactly worried that keeping a relationship with my brother will influence my dc beliefs about Muslims as they have been taught what is right and what Is wrong and that not all Muslims are bad etc. Although ds is very worried about me being killed in a terror attack.

What would you do.

Sad
OP posts:
lordStrange · 16/05/2015 20:50

Well, your brother is repeating an increasingly popular viewpoint here.

I don't think pre 9/11, Lee Rigby, the Isis beheadings, etc etc anyone was so so bothered about Islam, except, you know, gratitude that women are allowed education and a career, and proper criminal defence against rape, outside of any Islamic state.

Apart from all that, sure he is a bigot.

limitedperiodonly · 16/05/2015 20:55

For those of you who are suggesting the OP is just looking for a pat on the back for being PC or that he's entitled to his opinion, would you say the same if her brother was being racist?

Well he is being racist, isn't he? Or more properly bigoted, ignorant and prejudiced.

To my mind, he's wrong.

But I still think the OP is tiresome pest who wants a medal.

TheChandler · 16/05/2015 20:59

He is about 10 years younger than me, so is in the islamophobic generation (press name). People who were teens during 9/11 and have had all their adolescent and young adult lives in a climate of fear.

I should think it might come down to a contest between the pair of you for being the most offensive - him, or you for writing off an entire generation for being "islamophobic". That's one of the weirdest things I've seen written, and worse still, attempted to be justified, on mumsnet. And that's saying something!

fuzzywuzzy · 16/05/2015 21:03

I think this thread is indicative of the growing opinion of Islam and Muslims.

I wouldn't want my children affected by those kind of views either OP.

Won't cutting off your brother cause ructions within your family? Maybe he'd benefit from your balanced view or maybe you should agree not to discuss his views on Islam.

I sometimes wonder tho how far this making Muslims the modern day bogeyman is going to go. The hatred towards Muslims is palpable and popular.

SolidGoldBrass · 16/05/2015 21:05

Have you tried pointing out to your brother that all religions are shit, with horrible track records of abuse of women and children? Religious people can be lovely, or vicious, or dumb, or smart, or aggressive, or hardworking or whatever, of course, and it's easy to get over someone having a religious belief if it's someone you otherwise like; less so if the person is a wankstain anyway.

You say your brother is 'islamophobic' (which is not, in itself, a bad thing. It's fine to despise nasty, homophobic, woman-hating superstitions) - do you think this is linked with more general racism? How is he on the Catholic church's institutionalised child abuse, for instance?

DoMeDon · 16/05/2015 21:08

Think fuzzy is bang on.
I'd be having a serious chat with him. If he couldn't be appropriate I'd distance myself and tell him why.
It is a big deal to be bigoted and having strong morals in that area is not looking for a medal, it's being authentic.

Justanotherlurker · 16/05/2015 21:21

Address him on facts and conspiracy theory's to tackle some issues, be prepared that some facts produced in response may be hard to hear but that doesn't make them automatically wrong.

As for classing him a bigot, your pretty much the textbook example with this 'islamaphobia generation', after all your only giving vague broad sweeping statements about what he is posting/saying, or what you are challanging him about.

OTheHugeManatee · 16/05/2015 21:37

Does he hate all Muslims, or just the ones that blow planes up and throw people off buildings for being gay and behead journalists in YouTube videos? If the former, he is a bigot; if the latter, I'd say his aversion is quite rational and hence, by definition, not a phobia.

limitedperiodonly · 16/05/2015 21:40

I'd be having a serious chat with him

Really?

I'd not agree with his views but I'd not presume to confront him.

I'm pretty robust but I'd never confront family members about this kind of thing.

keepitsimple0 · 16/05/2015 21:46

Well he is being racist, isn't he? Or more properly bigoted, ignorant and prejudiced.

says the OP. a lot of people are branded "islamophobic" because they don't like islam. it's entirely possible he is in that camp.

Lavenderice · 16/05/2015 21:54

I think there's a difference and not liking Islam and being a bigot. I don't like Islam in the same way I don't like any religion. I also block anyone on Facebook who shares posts from Britain First (like the OP's brother). It was founded by members of the BNP and their views are abhorrent.

BumWad · 16/05/2015 22:03

YANBU

A lot of the responses here are typical of mumsnet. It is ok to be islamophobic but goodness if it was racist or homophobic the general consensus would be that it would be more than fair to cut your brother off. I wish more people were like you OP Flowers

BiscuitMillionaire · 16/05/2015 22:08

OTheHugeManatee: Does he hate all Muslims, or just the ones that blow planes up and throw people off buildings for being gay and behead journalists in YouTube videos? If the former, he is a bigot; if the latter, I'd say his aversion is quite rational and hence, by definition, not a phobia.

This ^

DoMeDon · 16/05/2015 22:11

Yes limited. I'm direct and, if it was someone I was close to, I'd be asking questions.

DoMeDon · 16/05/2015 22:12

Blowing up planes is nowt to do with Islam, it's to do with terrorists. In which case he should post about hating terrorists.

Stinkersmum · 16/05/2015 22:20

The problem is DoMeDon, these terrorists are doing it in the name of Islam. It's very easy to read the Quran and interpret it in such extreme forms as this. No, it's not representative of all Muslims. And whilst many Islamic country leaders may pay lip service to how terrible the actions of these terrorists are, how many islamic religious leaders in islamic countries (very different to country leaders) actually pipe up and condemn? I'll tell you for nothing. Not one. And that's what I think is scary.

snowglobemouse · 16/05/2015 22:55

yes YABU. if a family member cut me off every time I was a stupid twat id have no one left

FarFromAnyRoad · 16/05/2015 23:04

I think stinkers makes a good point which goes a long way to explaining how and why people can get caught up in this kind of thing. I'd imagine it's fairly easy to let obsessive thoughts build up when you don't see the leaders of that 'faith' robustly condemning the actions of radical terrorists. I get that. I quite see how it could happen.

BumWad · 16/05/2015 23:10

Far who are the leaders of the Islamic faith?

Stinkersmum · 16/05/2015 23:12

Farfrom I live in ksa. There was quite a popular reaction in the press by locals, nationals and Muslim expats here that the Charlie Hebdo shootings were well deserved. Honestly. It does seem to be that those who think that Islam can sit comfortably within a first world developed western country as some multicultural utopia have never actually set foot in an Islamic country. The hijri calendar is currently at 1436. And sadly, so are the mentalities here.

kinkytoes · 16/05/2015 23:17

Too much judging of other people going on these days. And too much making statements like 'cutting people off'. Where did it all come from? I think social media has a lot to answer for here. Bloody hell life would be boring if we all thought the same way. Live and let live!

lordStrange · 16/05/2015 23:19

Perhaps we can agree that modern Muslim thinking looks a bit like medieval Britain? Subjugating women, beheadings for smallish offences? Is it racist to say that? Or not allowed?

Alisvolatpropiis · 16/05/2015 23:22

I can understand people having concerns/reservations regarding Islam.

How they present their opinion is important. Sharing Britain First pages and so on would indicate toe the person in question is either not very bright or a racist. Or indeed both. Whereas someone who can logically explain their opinion without resorting over generalisations lifted straight from the Daily Mail/Express/Sun, I'd be less inclined to think was thick/racist.

Stinkersmum · 16/05/2015 23:22

BumWad Abdul Rahman Al-Sudais is the imam of the Grand Mosque in Mecca. You can't get any bigger than that in Islam. He is an anti Semitic mysogynist. He claims he wants peace, but only gives shoot about Palestine and blamed women's sinful behaviour for the drought of 2006. And this is the guy millions and millions of Muslims travel to listen to.

Mumblechum1 · 16/05/2015 23:22

Perhaps we can agree that modern Muslim thinking looks a bit like medieval Britain? Subjugating women, beheadings for smallish offences? Is it racist to say that? Or not allowed?

I don't think you're too far out there LordStrange. But no, you're not allowed to say it.

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