Would you raise an eyebrow at 43 and 38 as ages of prospective parents?

[ShadesOfPurple]

Don't be PC!

Please be honest! To me it seems older than ideal.

It'd be dc3, if that matters?

Nope. BUt it would be mightily hypocritical of me to do so as I had DS1 at 40 and Ds2 at 45.

No, not at all! I was 36 when I had DC2.

43 would definitely be way too old for me to have another baby, but absolute fair play to anyone else who was up for it. :)

Nope.
We were 39 (me) and 46 when DC3 arrived.

There is an element of where you live and social circle. At my kids school there was real surprise when one of the mums had a 40th party, because the rest of us were having 50th ones - kids were around 10/11 at the time.

But a good friend of mine lives in a different area and is oldest mum by more than 10 years, compared the other mums in the year group. She says she feels slightly left out, but its simply because of different interests, not because anyone disapproves/thinks it odd for her to have a kid at that age.

I was 38 when I had DS, and DH was 41. A year and a bit on we're trying for number 2. You can raise your eyebrows if you like, but DH and I didn't find each other until our mid 30s, so what was the option? We were both convinced we'd be infertile (long story) but we aren't and that is such a blessing! Some days I think I'd rather be younger than I am (I'm sure I'd have more stamina with DH!) but there's no one I'd rather be DH's father that's for sure! DH and I are mature, emotionally and financially stable, and have had our share of craziness, travelling and independence. What better time to devote yourself to a child? I don't think it's that unusual these days.

BTW my Mum had me when she was 39 and my Dad was 44. I'm the youngest of 5 (and it would have been 8 if she hadn't miscarried triplets).

All power to the older parents - none of us can judge or see what has led to the decisions they have made.

There's a 10 year gap between me and DH, so as I approach my mid-30s, he's approaching his mid-40s. We have two DC's and are considering a 3rd which has just gone on hold because of a temporary opportunity for me at work.

No Op. DH was 42 and I was 37 when DD was born and we started ttc number two this month DH is 43 and I am 39.

Not at all. Lots of my children's friends parents were that age when they had their first child. Lots of 50th birthday parties for adults with children in primary school.

Honestly - wouldn't think anything of it at all. Totally normal where I live

But I know in some areas where people tend to have children younger you might feel like you're old in comparison.

I'd think you were barking mad personally but apart from that, no

It would be reasonably normal round here.

Having said that my parents were those ages when they had me many moons ago. Both were dead by my 25th birthday. They died young but not before they were 60. As a result I had my children young in a hope to spend as many years with them as possible.

Not at all. I was 27 when I had my first 2.5 years ago and was 10 years younger than most of the parents I met.

I agree with you that it's older than ideal, but given that you don't have a time machine it's in no way old enough to make it a no go.

If you were 43 and 48 and trying for DC3 then that would be old enough to make me personally think twice.

A year ago, When I was pregnant with my second ( I was 35) all six other women who were pregnant at work were all over forty. With their firsts! Not uncommon these days at all

No especially as it is DC 3.

Even in the "old days" it was common for women to still be having children at that age.

I'm 43 next month. Dp just turned 46 a few days ago. Dc3 will hopefully arrive any moment now. Live in central London where there are a lot of career women who had their kids later but no one has even intimated that I'm 'old'.

Except the docs of course! They put a few extra 'guidelines' on you in your 40's. (And actually this pregnancy has been much harder on me).

No. I think it could only considered less than ideal as, speaking from experience, it can be very difficult to conceive.

Go for it OP - I am almost 37 and would love a 3rd child but can't because of health reasons. I wouldn't hesitate if I was in a position to go for it. Good luck :)

No. That's the ages DH and I were when we had our first. And I'm not the oldest parent in the class. Normal these days for women who have careers.

No. DH was 43 when our first was born and I know several women who've had babies in their late 30s and early 40s.

My DH will be 60 soon and we will have a one year old. I'm younger, but older than the older partner you mention.