AIBU to ask your most embarrassing moment ever?

[ShootPeppaPig]

Just for a chuckle?

Mine is when I wet myself during the festival of voices aged 7. I know lots of kids wet themselves - mine just happened to be during a concert with all my classmates feet in the puddle for the remainder of the song, I was wearing a long dress and somehow thought I could style it out.

I couldn't

Hardly the "biggest dildo ever" though??

Ahh the probe would explain it

But iv seen FAR bigger dildos... And iv led a fairly sheltered repressed sexual life (bought up v v v v religious)

I have been laughing away at this thread for days thinking I had nothing to share, until this afternoon. I was in the checkout queue when i sneezed and accidentally farted at the same time.

I wish mine was as good as some of these. I should say I am hearing impaired so my voice can be louder than I realise.

I went to see a play at uni, because my friend was in it. He was such a bad actor we used to call him "the Deadwood Stage" (ie: he was wooden). Anyway, we sat through it til the half way point when everyone filed out for drinks etc. In the queue, chatting to the people I was with and I gave the entire play a totally devastating review, ripping it to shreds, and reserving all my greatest bile for the unfortunate writer of this pile of crap - I was enjoying the fact my audience had gone strangely quiet and thought they were enjoying my witty, but cruel speech, so I milked it and ripped into him some more. Then my actor friend came up behind me and whispered: "See that bloke stood in front of you in the queue? He's the writer!"

I wanted the earth to swallow me up.

Another moment of shame was when I was waiting for the school bus with my two youngest. We had just changed school and didn't know many people, yet. At our bus stop was just one lady and her son and they hadn't showed yet. I was hoping my kids' new schoolmate and mum would think we were OK people.

My kids were kicking a football at eachother, and somehow the ball hit the older one in his 'gentleman area'. At the top of his voice - and it's a LOUD voice - my kid shrieked: "Right on me cock!" Just as the woman and her kid came round the corner. They can't not have heard Later we became friends but I never asked her what she thought of us at first...