AIBU to ask your most embarrassing moment ever?

[ShootPeppaPig]

Just for a chuckle?

Mine is when I wet myself during the festival of voices aged 7. I know lots of kids wet themselves - mine just happened to be during a concert with all my classmates feet in the puddle for the remainder of the song, I was wearing a long dress and somehow thought I could style it out.

I couldn't

Reg I genuinely laughed out loud to that. The shame.

But, imho, Diamondjoan wins. Horrifying.

As an adult I was only last year.

My tiny DS was having a very, very rare nap in his baby chair. In a new baby fug I answered the door to a nice young gentleman asking about cavity loft installation.

He seemed unusually keen to end the discussion considering he knocked on MY door and hurriedly made his excuses before scurrying off. I turned to come back inside from my porch and realised I had one whole boob very obviously and purposefully hanging out over the top of my dress. It was a bit of a tight squeeze in this dress so it was very clearly 'taken' out rather than a wardrobe malfunction/slip.

I honestly could have died of shame there.

On the plus side, they haven't been back knocking since!

Oh no Bub Gal!! how long were you in that shed for?

This is gross too, I warn you. It still makes me cringe - I hope no one is tucking into a bag of Monster Munch right now.

I was driving out and about with work one day, when I felt a horrible gurgling feeling in my stomach followed by a desperate need to poo. I knew there were some public toilets nearby so I waddled very gingerly up the street only to find they were all locked up. PANIC.. I was in a cold sweat by then, and my bum was on maximum clench.

There was no going back - as it were - so had no option but to hide behind a bush and let it go... disgusting I know, but it was either that or crap myself. I couldn't just leave it there, so I scrabbled around and found an empty Monster Munch pack to use as a poobag and chuck in the dog bin. Ingenious or what?

Then I turned the corner and bumped into the client I was about to visit, a very friendly, chatty man who was particularly talkative that day. He stood there for ages telling me about this and that, hopefully unaware that I was holding a Monster Munch bag full of my own shit.

I got trapped in a roll of carpet protector once, the heavy duty plastic stuff. I think I was about five or six at the time.
We were in a carpet shop and I was being really annoyed by my older sister who was trying to make 'seats' out of the books of carpet samples. I have no idea why she was doing that, but she wouldn't let me join in.
I saw the big roll of stuff out on display with the end of the roll draped up onto a bar above it, I guess so you could see what it was.
I thought it looked like a better seat than the crap ones my sister was playing with, so I sat on it.
It tipped backwards, trapping me between the fat roll of plastic and the bar above. I'm pretty much folded in half, unable to move, just waving my hands and feet for help.
All my mum does is laugh.

During my university days I shared a house with a few friends from my cours. directly opposite campus. One morning I emptied the bin in my room so that I could throw it in the wheelie bin on the way out as it was bin day.

When I arrived at my 9am lecture I squeezed past a whole row of people to get to one of the few remaining seats, took my coat off etc. Half way through my lecture I was in my own little world looking around the room and noticed a Tescos bag by my feet and thought 'what did I buy?' I leaned over and opened it and there it was, the contents of my rubbish bin from the past week - banana peel, wrappers, bits of manky food. 2 immaculate looking girls sat next to me gave me the most disgusted look you've ever seen and I was absolutely mortified!

When my 4 year old daughter had an induction morning for reception at school, and us mums were ushered into another room for coffee and getting to know each other. I sat silently watching everyone chatting as they all seemed to know each other, so I just sat shyly in the corner.

Then the reception teacher bursts through the door laughing. She calls my name and said she had to come and tell me what my daughter had said because it was so funny. She then proceeded to tell the whole room that she told my daughter to stop picking her nose. My wonderful child apparently then said "but why?? My mummy does it all the time!"

Mortified! I laughed along with all the other mums but I was dying inside...

Mine is another sex one. Absolutely mortifying and I still can't think about it without writhing in embarrassment.

I was 19 and back from uni. My parents were away on holiday.

Only they came back early and walked in on me having sex with my girlfriend. She was going down on me and the worst part of the whole thing was that she continued for quite some time while my parents and I were frozen in horror. It was 15 years ago but when I think of the slurping noises I still blush all over.

Still, it saved me having to sit my parents down and tell them I was bi.

Walking away from a buffet, plate loaded and going arse over tit. Sausage rolls and cheese sandwiches all over the show.

When I was in high school we were doing group work and I let out the biggest fart imaginable. Everyone knew it was me, but the tutor took pity and said it came from a different area.

Getting my arm trapped under a patient, I was on my own and had to sort of squeak 'help'. The staff found it hilarious and I couldn't live it down for a long time.

This one is TMI and rude... I was giving someone a blowjob a tad too enthusiastically and ended up vomiting around his penis.

When I had an anal examination, I needed to poo a bit. Didn't know that once they pushed the periscope thing up my ass I would not have the control to keep it in. The nurse was very nice about it actually.

Finally got invited back to a guys house who I fancied for the majority of university. Things were heating up & I got naked & went to turn the lights off (not beyonce).

As I tried my best to do some sort of sexy (?) walk back to the bed starkers, I got my foot stuck in the strap of my handbag that I'd left in the middle of the floor & fell and knocked myself unconscious on a shelf.

Came to wearing nothing but a bag of frozen peas on my fod.

Funnily enough he didn't sleep with me afterwards. Or ever.

My wedding dress was slightly see through. I didn't realise until 2 minutes before I was due to walk down the aisle and there was nothing I could do.

Fortunately DH's grandad and Dad's friend were kind enough to point it out to me.

You can see my pants in quite a large proportion of my wedding pictures.

Oh dear. These stories are both cringeworthy and highly enjoyably entertaining. I did vomit in a guy's bed once, and he said 'Reg, have you been sick?' And I said 'No! What makes you think that?' And he said 'I can smell it!'
(Plus his whole genital area was covered in vomit.)

I have had many, many embarrassing moments - most involved alcohol. This one didn't though. I was on a train and couldn't find my purse. A man was sat facing me across the table and I noticed he was holding my purse and looking inside. I shouted "that's my purse you've got, what are you doing with it?!" The man looked scared and said it was his, to which I replied that it was very strange he had a purse, being a man and all. What a coincidence it looked exactly like mine. I then had another look for my purse and lo and behold, it was at the bottom of my bag. As I looked up sheepishly to apologize to the poor man, I realized he was wearing a dog collar. I had just accused a priest of stealing my purse, lying about it and I insulted his taste in purses. Oh, and I have nothing against men with purses, just do when I think they've pinched mine.

When I started university I had a nice outfit complete with fishnet tights and those little Victorian hooked ankle boots (am an elderly goth). I was at the top of a flight of stone steps, about to walk down - there were a group of students sitting around the bottom step chatting - when my fishnet loops got caught onto the hooks of my boots. My legs were literally welded together and I fell like an utter dick down the entire flight of steps. I couldn't even rectify it as my legs were so stuck together. At the bottom step, I had to crawl up, unhook my legs and attempt a cool walk off in front of the now silent aforementioned group of students :(

I also once made a bitchy (and uncalled for) comment re a boss' looks to a co-worker. Afterwards my friend informed me that they were actually living together (still blushing with shame at that one).

Mistlewoeandwhine - am shaking with silent laughter at your story!

sweetboysmum - your story reminded me of one told me by my university tutor. She had been at a conference and went to a cafe for something to eat. It was a self-service counter, so she picked up a tray at the beginning of the counter, and was juggling handbag, purse, tray, folders and notebooks. Took a Kit-Kat and a scone, and eventually found a seat at a table opposite a man who was sitting alone. Got herself all sorted. Ate her scone, and then watched in horrified disbelief as the man picked up her Kit-Kat and ate it! So she picked up HIS scone, took a huge bite out of it and walked out. It was only as she was putting things in order in her bag that she found HER OWN Kit-Kat at the bottom of her bag!
The poor man had been eating his own biscuit! She said it was 20 years ago but she still blushed every time she thought of it.

In the loo at a posh dept store - seat looked a bit wet so crouched down and removed tampon rather too vigorously only to send it flying under the wall to the next (occupied) cubicle. Utter utter mortification. Waited silently for at least half an hour and crept out convinced that the woman next door was waiting to see who I was.

First week of being at uni dorms, the building was made so there was a large circular courtyard surrounded by all of dorms: so everyone can see the courtyard. I go down into the courtyard with a basket of washing to the washing machine room downstairs and the boots im wearing (lace up 'distressed' leather with eyelet holes and laces) catch onto each other (the lace caught onto the other foots eyelet) and i fell flat on my face and saw lots of faces peering from rooms pissing them selves at me

Both mine are at the playgroup I've run for 12 years or so. Both during songtime. I should add we have a good mix of dads as well as mums there.

The first was during Ring a Roses:
"All fall down!" I sang loudly, dropping into a crouch with a loud ripping sound as my jeans tore along the back seam

The second was nothing to do with the song. A little girl marched up to me between songs, patted my breasts familiarly and announced "My mum's got them! They're boobies!"

Ran my first Race for Life ... bumped into "old friends & ex teacher"

Fell flat on my fucking face half a mile in.

To this DAY it bothers me, this was 12 years ago

I was a receptionist in a factory of about 200 men. I got the bus to work and often one of the guys would stop and pick me up.

One day, a car stopped, I jumped in, only to discover it was a complete stranger, looking at me in horror.

And I said..."don't worry, I get picked up here by strange men most days"

Am laughing hysterically to these, my mascara has given up the ghost.

Ok, my first office job and I was asked to cover reception which I hated. I was told our boss, let's call him Jim, was waiting on a call from the bank but he was in a very important meeting, so I was to make the caller wait, walk to the meeting room and tell Jim the bank was on the line. Easy right? So, eventually the bank calls and rather than write the details down, I recite it over and over in my head. I knock on the office door, open and go in. Ten pairs of eyes swivel in my direction and I blurt out "Jim, I have Mr Davis from NatBest Wank for you.......I mean BANK, NatWest BANK".

More recently I was in B&Q and they had lots of garden benches reduced. I spent a short while being Goldilocks, testing them out before eventually purchasing one after waiting an age to be served. After putting it in my car I went to the supermarket and did a bit of shopping. Got home and my OH peels a massive bright yellow sticker off my arse which in large letters declared "Caution, heavy load. Two person lift".

I am seriously blushing even typing this!!

I was 19 and me and my bf had been experimenting with toys of the vibrating kind, stored under his bed, all well and good, till his dog found it and thought it was a chew toy and decided to bring it downstairs whilst bf wasn't there, bf's mum kindly put it on his bed and told us when we came in where it was!

Woobeedoo lol lol lol

Mine is pretty tame in comparison to some of these. I was seventeen and had my first job in a shop, shy and the only female among six young lads. Had my period and was terrified of leaking through so stuck a sanitary towel in my pocket Just In Case. My boss eventually drew my attention to the fact that it was lying in the middle of the shop floor with lads walking wide circles around it like it was radioactive. Had to go and pick it up.