AIBU to ask your most embarrassing moment ever?

[ShootPeppaPig]

Just for a chuckle?

Mine is when I wet myself during the festival of voices aged 7. I know lots of kids wet themselves - mine just happened to be during a concert with all my classmates feet in the puddle for the remainder of the song, I was wearing a long dress and somehow thought I could style it out.

I couldn't

These are all brilliant.

More please...

Just remembered one of mine:

I was out doing gardening for ages, had since come in and thought i was finished so changed into a pair of really comfy harem/yoga trousers that are really hippie and baggy realise id forgotton some tools outside, so go outside to pick them up: whilst walking i trip over my own baggy trousers and manage to pull them and my knickers down! My garden is small and has low fence and surrounded by other houses: this was in summer when loads of people were milling about!!

I'd finished my A levels and my gorgeous 21yr old art teacher asked me out on a date to some nearby cliffs so I could hold his rope while he climbed up. That sounds so unbelievably dodgy. Anyway I didn't realise I'd have to abseil down the cliff first. I was desperate to impress him so bravely went over the edge. The rope was all wet from the sea and the buckle got jammed. My harness rode up under my armpits and I was slowly suffocating under my own body weight, totally unable to lift myself up and unjam the buckle. Anyway I eventually pass out! I came to with him between my legs lifting my body weight as I merrily weed all over him. He didn't invite me out again. Worst date ever. I didn't tell my parents even though I could barely breathe through the bruised ribs and had totally smashed up my elbow. I still shudder at the thought of weeing all over his legs.

Watermelsons were hard to find in the late 70s, and when I ate some in Greece on holiday loved them so much I decided to bring one back in my hand luggage. I chose the biggets ripest one I could find and stowed it in theoverrhead luggage compartment on the flight home.
It was probaby the cabin pressure that caused it to explode during the flight.
When we landed and opened the compartment it looked like a homocide scene. Red flesh and seeds had splattered everything in the compartment, over hand luggage, jackets and hats.
I just shook my head and tutted- who could have been so stupid?
I wasn't going to admit the act!

Name changed for this as it could out me. Oh god...I'm cringing just thinking about it.

When DS was about four months old I was still very much in the hair-scraped-back-crappy-clothes-only phase. I had one particularly favoured old black t shirt which I used solely for mooching about the house in. This t shirt had a couple of small holes in it (I know, what a slob...). But hey ho, I still wore it anyway.

One afternoon our neighbour knocked on the front door; I duly answered it. I knew him quite well so we stood chatting about nothing in particular for five minutes or so and then he suddenly started sort of...well...shuffling awkwardly, before making his excuses and heading off home. I thought nothing of it, and trundled back into the flat.

It was only when I went into the bedroom and stood in front of the full length mirror that I realised the reason for his shuffling was most likely my left nipple poking perfectly out of one of the little holes in my t shirt. I can only imagine that as we'd been talking I'd moved about and the hole had positioned itself in the worst place possible. I can assure you that when wearing a fitted black top, a rogue nipple poking out of it is VERY fucking hard to miss. The poor bloke.

Took me quite some time to look him in the eye again.

(I see many posters have accidentally left a breastfeeding boob out of their top. But at least your tit was out for a very good reason, and not just part of it playing a very disturbing game of peek-a-boob.)

At a fire safety event at school we had to go into a staged bedroom and play out what we would do in the event of a fire. The others in the room blocked the door with the clothes that were on the bed. I had the bright idea to start climbing out the window while the fireman asked if I would please stay in the room.

I was 18 and was going out with a dreamboat boyfriend. After a few weeks he suggested I stay over at his parents house with him, the parents would be out. So after a couple of hours in his single bed, it was 11pm and I needed to wee. However his parents had come home unexpectedly, so he said I couldn't leave the room, I should wait until they were asleep. Unfortunately whilst waiting, I fell asleep.

I woke at 4am and had wet the bed . He got up too, then his mum walked in and asked who'd been sick in the bed I had to run out of the house in mortification!

Tears of laughter at all of these - farewell pishing on her art teacher hahaha and the stray nipple

farewell Serves him absolutely right, he sounds like a plonker.

this thread is fantastic :') This happened to my stepmum, not me, but when we were younger, my stepbrother approx 6yo had a friend who had just started at his school, moved to the UK from Africa not long before. It was a very middle class area and he was the only black person in the school, and unfortunately was getting bullied. Stepmum tried to explain the concept of racism to stepbrother, saying it was horrible and wouldn't be tolerated in our house. Thought it had all gone well, until we were in the supermarket queuing behind a black family, and stepbrother points and shouts 'look mum, it's those people you won't let in the house'. Cue v. dirty looks.

for me it was being about 8 and i'd been on medication that caused constipation. Grandparents and great grandparents were round. I suddenly needed a poo so went to the bathroom and did the biggest poo, like a weeks worth, but it wouldn't bloody flush. So I thought I'd sort it when everyone had gone, because by then i'd been gone about 20 mins. Went back to the room to say bye as they were leaving and great grandma needed the loo.. had to drag my mum away and she prodded it with a coathanger for a while, then came out and told everyone. I was mortified.

One of mine - I used to work as a PA in a luxury designer firm (won't reveal who) anyway my boss was the daughter of the designer, there are several showrooms and I went to a building today which unbeknownst to me, happens to contain a showroom (didn't exist at the time I worked for them)

I was in the building because I was taking my son to a medical appointment also within the building and we nipped into the loos, it seemed fairly quiet and I couldn't be bothered to look for a disabled/babychange toilet so just wedged his buggy in assuming it was unlikely anyone would walk in seeing as the building seemed so quiet and bargaining with myself that staff would have staff loos in their showrooms etc,

I didn't close the door, dropped my knickers and relieved myself... Then in the ginormous wall length mirror opposite a woman walked in - yup my old boss... And gave me a pitying smile

I don't think she recognised me, or she chose to pretend she didn't. She then continued smirking as I commented how the taps aren't working and I realised I wasn't turning the lever the right way - so I got it right eventually... Only to spray myself dramatically all over my coat with the tap, so I looked like Id pissed myself

Still least she knew it wasn't pee

A few years ago I was having my legs waxed and as the beautician got down to my ankles she said, to my complete surprise:

"Do you want me to do your feet?"

I'd honestly never noticed that I had hairy feet. She'd caught me completely off guard, so I just replied, nonchanlently, "No, that's ok."

My words hung in the air for what felt like an age and the beautician had a face like [hmmm] She was clearly thinking 'what kind of weirdo wants smooth legs but the feet of Chewbaca?'.

The rest of the appointment was very awkward. She obediently left my foot hair on the other foot well alone when she did my other leg, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Emoticon fail! that's better

OK, one teenage evening. nightclub. too much booze, saw mist gorgeous bloke and spent all night telling mates how gorgeous he was, how much needed snog him...etc.etc....he comes up to me end of night and says he feels same....me v confused....he points to hearing aids and says can lip read perfectly!!! .....that's Part One....
so we leave night club, Part Two...back to mine, living at parents still since only 18ish. on lounge floor, me legs akimbo, handsome deaf lad betwix em....not quite at it but only centimetres away...lounge door opens....dad in door way, shouts for me mother...both stood in doorcway ranting not appropriate behaviour, drunken daughter etc.....but poor lad completely oblivious since never heard a thing. there's me tapping him furiously on shoulder whilst trying to recover some decency. ended up yelling at parents " shout all you like, he can't hear you!" escorted young man to door. never seen him since.never spoken about with parents!!
two incidents, one night

Out on a date years ago, walking along the river.. all very romantic until I kicked a bit of dog shite up on the air, it hit a person in front of us on the back of the head

Third date with a guy, was dressed in some sort of jumpsuit (trendy then), he came in for a drink before going out. I sat on the floor and decided to "pose" a bit so lifted one leg over the other and a huge fart came storming out

In the days when I smoked and refused to wear my glasses. Out at a gathering of my new boyfriend's friends, smoking away and flicking ash on an unusual ashtray, suddenly a girl says "oi that's my bag, how rude!" I had by then stubbed my cigarette out on it, the shame.

Sex related, age seventeen parents went away for the night so attempted to lose virginity! Had a few tries using protection which my boyfriend then proceeded to flush down the toilet! We weren't supposed to be staying at the house so left without checking toilet only for my dad to find two floating condoms the following day! He got my mum to ring me and tell me what he had found then we got an invite to dinner to sit uncomfortably with them ??

jubilee That's amazing.

Auditioned for the part of Snow White aged 8 and got cast as dopey.

Things have done steadily down hill from then really.

Yes did the congrats on pregnancy to a not pregnant woman only this week. Ugh.

MIL who is very old had her house up for sale. I spent a who,e day cleaning it ready for viewings. Lots of people round looking at house, all going well......until the viewings ended and realised she had sneaked into downstairs loo and did a massive poo and failed to flush. It had been in there throughout all of the viewings, silently stewing away in the bog. Nice.

Got legless at a house party and threw up all over the hosts parents bedroom. Lovely.

Loads more ......I won't go on.

Lagoonblue I've done the drunken puking on a friends parents bed too! Tried to hide the evidence too but they found out! ??

A few years ago I was experiencing a lot of stomach pain, so gp sent me for a vaginal scan.
Obviously the person assigned to me was a gorgeous, young Australian bloke. I had to take off my knickers, sit on this chair and put my legs akimbo in straps. To say I was embarrassed was an understatement. Anyway, the bloke had his back to me whilst getting everything ready. When he turned round he was holding the biggest dildo I have ever seen. This was seriously turning into uncharted,mortifying territory.
He sat down I front of me and said " so, you're having trouble with your cycle". By this time I was almost light headed with embarrassment, and not in my right mind. I replied " do I look like I ride a bike?"
I have no idea what I was thinking. I saw the nurse trying not to giggle, which set me off. I can just remember asking god not to let me wet myself. I still cringe thinking about it.

Is that the Salvador Dali dream sequence? Or did you mean "pen"? Confused face

He was holding a dildo??? What gynae uses a dildo???

Vaginal probe, looks like a dildo, I had an ultrasound with one once, I think!