To think if you have an assistance dog....

[MeggyMooAndTinkerToo]

That people who visit your home need to understand they cannot demand you put them in another room or outside?

I have an assistance dog (she's a hearing dog) and my constant companion. DD's boyfriends mother came to collect some hay from us tonight. She KNEW about the dog yet felt the need to comment "Oh, does it have to be in the livingroom?" "Can't you put it out?" This is the first time I've met the woman. She kept talking to DD and DH as if I wasnt there asking THEM if they could put Ruby out. DD was mortified and DH said "no I won't put Ruby out she stays with Meggy constantly, anyway ask Meggy not us." She made her excuses and then left. I feel like some sort of non existent being as she barely acknowledged me. I can honestly say I've never been in a situation like this before.

If they can't/won't/don't want to then it's really not a problem - I just don't go That's a demand, it's a non-negotiable condition of you visiting.

There are assistance dogs who literally act as people's limbs, putting them on a lead in the home environment would hind their ability to assist.

If dh or my children needed one I have absolutely no idea what I would do

If it enhanced their lives you'd need to deal with your phobia. If anyone in your family lost their sight or hearing but you'd need to give them the independence an assitance dog can give. When my children were babies I obviously couldn't hear them cry but my dog did and alerted me as soon as they murmured. I had an independence I never thought I'd have.

Leashed dogs can be aggressive as well as unleashed ones. I'm wondering what the fixation you have on dogs being on a leash is about? I couldn't do 'normal' things like riding if I had to leash Ruby all the time. She runs beside me and the horse and is my ears if she hears traffic behind me. I couldn't ride without her. I really don't think you realise how important assistance dogs are to living a daily life. People often take things for granted when they can see and hear.

I think you really need to get help for your phobia and I truly hope your not passing your fears on to your children.

No chipped it's not a demand in this case it's a solution. Nokids is saying she wouldn't demand or expect and would remove herself rather than expect or demand.

Once again mn strikes with the fixation on one thing, Nokids post covered all dogs not just assistance and put forward a whole range of options including; not going, dog elsewhere, dog on lead, meeting elsewhere where it is more likely to be on a lead etc. She has also said she'd be clear it was her situation to deal with and wouldn't expect others to do anything they weren't comfortable with. Finally she plans ahead so people are not put on the spot. Tbh it's almost text book reasonable.

Yes I do realise how important the dogs are for other people and my children (teens) have no fear of dogs

Meggy, by definition understanding something does not change a phobia. Going on about "you'd just have to deal with it, you just don't understand" is displaying your ignorance of phobias. You are not alone though, in fact you're in good company on this thread.

A subject close to my own heart Meggy.
My sister experiences ignorant fuckwits often, even after she's made it perfectly clear that she can talk and lip read, they'll still try the ''ask her'' or ''tell her'' to whoever she's with. I always tell them to tell her themselves she's just deaf, not daft.
Her assistance dog is a constant source of dumb questions from people - the best being is the dog deaf too :) :) closely followed by how can your sister drive when she's deaf does the dog help her :) :)

Good luck at the party and you stand up to that frigging woman.

OP do you and your family sign ? You could just sign at the meal and just watch her implode

(I think this is one of the 'what I would like to do' but not really carry our IRL)

you'd just have to deal with it, you just don't understand" is displaying your ignorance of phobias. You are not alone though, in fact you're in good company on this thread.

Please do explain how Nokids would deal with having to have an assistance dog given her phobia? Although, I'm sure she's more than able to reply on her own behalf. I actually NEVER said she didn't understand. Please get your facts right.

I'm rather disgusted you use the word "ignorant". Please don't assume people are "ignorant" of issues red

I'm beginning to think your only on this thread for an argument . Are you on the gin?

Imagine YOU had an assistance dog. Would you put the needs of a phobic visitor before your own? Would a guide dog of your own be in another room if you needed to get up and move somewhere?

What about in an open plan office, with a colleague with a phobia of dogs? Does the dog stay at home instead of coming to work? Does the owner walk around the office with the dog remaining at the desk tied up (preventing it from alerting the owner to a sound as it has been trained to do?

I'm terrified of dogs and quite frankly can't stand them...I cross the road to avoid them...

However...

I am not scared of assistance dogs. I feel perfectly calm around them as I feel they are guarenteed to be well trained. I would never ask for one to be removed from a room I was in.

I have said more than once frankie that I would not expect anyone with an assistance dog to change for me. I wouldn't take a job knowing there were dogs on the premises and if some came to work in the same place as me with one I would look for another job.

That's probably why I work from home!

I agree Meggy, something is up with redrug for her to take over this whole thread, maybe she has issues of her own with assistance dogs or people with disabilities.

If anything good has come from this thread, its that hopefully some people are more educated on assistance dogs.

"I am not scared of assistance dogs. I feel perfectly calm around them as I feel they are guarenteed to be well trained."

The trouble with a phobia is that it isn't rational. Phobias are part of a spectrum of anxiety and panic disorders (more info here www.webmd.boots.com/anxiety-panic/guide/phobias ) So if you're capable of reasoning that assistance dogs are more obedient and therefore are less afraid of them you're probably not phobic.

Personally I'd never expect anyone to remove an assistance dog from a room. However, I think if you're genuinely phobic about dogs, it's probably a good idea to discuss the situation with the dog's owner. And I do mean discuss. "I'm phobic about dogs. I appreciate how important your dog is to you. Is there any room to meet in the middle here? I am working on my phobia and I have got to the stage where I can be in the same room but it does terrify me." If you discuss this once and the dog's owner says "No go, the dog stays with me in this room and I am not putting her on the lead" then fair enough. Asking once is reasonable, asking twice once you've had your answer isn't.

I'm another one who feels very anxious around most dogs but I've yet to have an assistance dog approach me. I'm perfectly comfortable being in a room with a dog that's most likely not even going to move, let alone come close to me. I do get antsy about walking past one assistance dog I see regularly in case I step on her tail or something... I suspect she's too well trained to bite even if someone hurt her but I wouldn't want to risk it!

"I really don't think you realise how important assistance dogs are to living a daily life." You have said she doesn't understand.

As for how a person with a phobia would cope if they needed an assistance dog (as you say Nokids can answer for herself) some people would actually struggle on without that assistance because a phobia is not something that responds to reason.

its a shame that you are offended by me pointing out that you and some others here are ignorant about phobias. no I haven't "been on the gin" I don't need to be drunk to have a differing interpretation of a thread and the responses to it. I'm also not spoiling to fight, I have been nothing but polite and respectful whilst putting across my points.

Frankie, I made my point then responded to people addressing me directly. There's nothing wrong with me.

"I really don't think you realise how important assistance dogs are to living a daily life." You have said she doesn't understand

No, what I said was she didn't realise how important assistance dogs are NOT that she didn't understand.

nokids is perfectly capable to answer for herself.

Call me ignorant all you wish red I find it completely inappropriate to use that word personally. Both you and nokids have successfully derailed a perfectly innocent thread, but that's ok. Some people must clearly need the attention.

So what if we are talking about assistance dogs for blind people or quadriplegics? What about people with epilepsy or autistic people who rely on dogs? They can't simply put the dog away or keep them on a lead, so what are they meant to do?

I had no intention of derailing anything Meggymoo I was replying to the many accusations that I am ignorant, discriminatory, selfish, rude etc after my original post

Red just seems to be determined to inform us tthat phobias are harder to overcome than disabilities

FFS

They do give them confidence when out and about, but tbh, once indoors and not 'working', ie with their harness and coats off they are very much treated like a pet and if someone comes around who asks politely if the dog can be restrained or popped in the kitchen it's never a problem.

I thought hearing dogs are supposed to stay in the same room as the owner in order to alert them to the door bell, smoke alarm, telephone and other sounds etc? They will have been trained to do these things in the home and to stop them from doing these things may set back their training.