To think if you have an assistance dog....

[MeggyMooAndTinkerToo]

That people who visit your home need to understand they cannot demand you put them in another room or outside?

I have an assistance dog (she's a hearing dog) and my constant companion. DD's boyfriends mother came to collect some hay from us tonight. She KNEW about the dog yet felt the need to comment "Oh, does it have to be in the livingroom?" "Can't you put it out?" This is the first time I've met the woman. She kept talking to DD and DH as if I wasnt there asking THEM if they could put Ruby out. DD was mortified and DH said "no I won't put Ruby out she stays with Meggy constantly, anyway ask Meggy not us." She made her excuses and then left. I feel like some sort of non existent being as she barely acknowledged me. I can honestly say I've never been in a situation like this before.

Btw nokids you would be much more polite to explain your problem and that you are going to have to put yourself outside / not stay long etc due to your phobia. Then I suspect you'll find people will be willing to try and find a solution.

There just isn't a way of asking someone to stop being able to use their eyes/ ears/ hands etc, which is what these dogs are. They aren't an added extra. And it doesn't matter whether you say please or not, it won't sound good.

What you need is for some accomodation for your needs due to your phobia... Which you'll get if you treat the other person with respect too. You cannot just baldly ask that your phobia be put above the needs of someone else who is disabled. It's something that person could offer if they feel they can, and if you make it clear that you're not another 'does she take milk with that' person who's decided to sideline someone just because you can. So many do still exist like that and you need to make it clear you're not behaving in this way.

nokids

How would you behave if I walked into a restaurant with my assistance dog and sat at the table next to you?

We need a piccie of Ruby. The rude woman Needs to get some equality and diversity training !!

I'm wary of dogs I dont know and big aggressive types but I'm guessing your Ruby is a well trained labrador not something savage just waiting to rip your arm off! She's v rude on so many y levels!

Assistance dogs are awesome. I see them at work occasionally and know some people who place them and train them. The difference they make to people's lives is immense.
I have still heard stories of their owners being asked to leave places, move their dog , refused admittance to taxis and buses and even twats deliberately hurting and distracting the dogs when they are working I thought most people " got" assistance dogs but just this thread and personal experiences with colleagues seems to show otherwise.
The fact someone would think it ok to ask for an assistance dog to be removed shows a spectacular level of self absorption.
Op please make your dog the star of the show on Friday

stillfrankie I wouldnt 'behave' any differently to before you came in of course.

I would, however, feel panic and stress and would finish my meal quicker in order to remove myself - but you would have no indication of that.

I have repeatedly said that I would never expect anyone else to pander to my phobia. I would and do check before I go to a house that I don't know if they have dogs and is it possible for the dog and me to be in a separate room or the dog on a lead. I don't make a fuss if the answer is no, I don't demand any special treatment.

But you would ask for "special treatment" as you have said you would want to be in a seperate room which is impossible for the owner of the assistance dog. The fact you would still think it's ok to even ask after it has been explained repeatedly to you how in appropriate that is shows you clearly don't get it.

I would not ask for special treatment I just wouldn't go to the house if the dog and I couldn't be kept apart.

nokids, I could almost understand your rationale (whilst wholeheartedly disagreeing with it) asking for some dogs to be in a different room if you were visiting at home if you presumed that assistance dogs were predominately seeing / hearing dogs and you would be sat drinking tea and chatting. However, you fail to a acknowledge the other types of assistance dogs which are not just providing sensory support but medical support. If you remove the dog and that dog is trained to send hypoglycaemia and their owner becomes very unwell and could potentially die, that would be solely down to you. Many people still be too polite to refuse your request, especially as you phrase it oh so politely and this could not only cost a person a great deal of discomfort and trouble but potentially their life. Having worked with people with assistance dogs who have allowed me to pet and play with them, they are wonderful dogs who are far more reliable and predictable in behaviour than people! You need to seek therapy.

Meggy, Ruby sound wonderful but Christ, the BF's mother is horrid. Describing someone as not being able to communicate properly is disgusting and would make me want to make several pointed remarks about ignorance and bigotry. Your dignity in this situation is quite humbling.

Apologies all, just say drinking tea should have read "just". I'm not minimising the work and huge impact that sensory dogs do at all

I have a serious phobia. I cannot go to a persons house without knowing if they have pets/animals and what the likelihood of my having to be near them is. I would always call in advance in order that I - that is me not them - can make a decision as to whether I can go or not. I would not expect anyone to put my needs before theirs. But I need to know in order to decide.

I can't avoid dogs unfortunately but I do not knowingly put myself in a situation that causes panic and fear. If people know in advance they are usually willing and able to accommodate me and my fear. If they can't/won't/don't want to then it's really not a problem - I just don't go. I would never expect someone with an assistance dog,or actually even just a family pet, to remove it for my benefit but, as you have quite rightly pointed out there are different levels of assistance and so some may be able and/or willing to move or leash the dog whilst I am there. If I don't ask I won't know.

If someone said to me 'sorry my dog has to be with me at all times and unleashed in the house' then I would simply not go or make arrangements to meet in a public place where any dog is more likely to be on a lead.

Yes I realise I have a problem but fear is fear. as I have said many times I do not EXPECT anything, I simply ask the question. If someone called me saying they couldn't come if xxxx I would do my best to accommodate them and I would not feel that they had overstepped the mark by asking.

• I would not feel that they had overstepped the ark by asking, even if the answer was no

MaitlandGirl - oh those days are very much still here.

While disability awareness has slowly improved, I don't think it's improved as much as people think. People still regularly make decisions that impact on disabled peoples lives, many shops/services are still inaccessible.

The worse group of people I've found for talking to my carer rather than me are consultants. So, so many times I've sat in an appointment with it all directed to the person I'm with, not me. It's so frustrating.

What an ignorant women. So even when confronted with her behaviour she insisted she was still in the right!

I'd point your DD towards the MIL from hell threads MeggoMoo, the woman sounds like she'd be a horror to deal with. also tell her to run for the hills

"'I'm not having that it here it will track mud inside' "

Whereas I travel everywhere with a small team of fairies who lick my shoes clean for me before I enter any shop.

If they can't/won't/don't want to then it's really not a problem - I just don't go

Nokids The way you group "can't/won't/don't" together sounds as though you think assistance dogs are there as some sort of optional extra. I've found your attitude practically as bad as the person the OP is talking about. The very fact you would consider asking someone to remove an assistance dog is breathtakingly bad manners and shows that you put your irrational phobia above anyone else's needs. What would you do if a close member of your family had an assistance dog they relied upon? Would you then just stop seeing them?

As someone else has said get some therapy.

YY chipped

I'll find a pic of the Rubster for you good. She's a black lab

Here she is! She's tired as I went out riding earlier and she ran alongside.

NoKids what would you do if your child or husband had reason to need an assistance dog? Would you make them move out? Or would you just make them risk their life and suffer unnecessary hardship their whole life and not permit them to have one?

Or would you just get over it?

Awwwwwwwwwww! She's beautiful

Awwwwwwwwwww! She's beautiful

I'm seriously afraid of dogs. I'll cross the road to avoid a dog off lead etc. But I know that logically an assistance dog is going to be very well trained and very very unlikely to jump up/bite. Asking someone to put their assistance dog out is just selfish.

Omg what an absolute beauty