To think if you have an assistance dog....

[MeggyMooAndTinkerToo]

That people who visit your home need to understand they cannot demand you put them in another room or outside?

I have an assistance dog (she's a hearing dog) and my constant companion. DD's boyfriends mother came to collect some hay from us tonight. She KNEW about the dog yet felt the need to comment "Oh, does it have to be in the livingroom?" "Can't you put it out?" This is the first time I've met the woman. She kept talking to DD and DH as if I wasnt there asking THEM if they could put Ruby out. DD was mortified and DH said "no I won't put Ruby out she stays with Meggy constantly, anyway ask Meggy not us." She made her excuses and then left. I feel like some sort of non existent being as she barely acknowledged me. I can honestly say I've never been in a situation like this before.

Nokids It doesn't matter how polite you are you SHOULD NOT ask a person to put out an assistance dog. Ever

don't worry nokids you wouldn't be my friend anyway!

Let's be clear, I'm not referring to you with this op!

yellow than made me laugh.

To update, DD did speak to the BF and in turn he spoke to his mother. Apparently she feels "uncomfortable" around "people who can't communicate with me properly" (her words). She also dislikes dogs "as they lick their bits then lick people's faces". I've never had a problem communicating as long as I can see people's faces, I can talk and reply on my own without my DH or DC's having to sign. My dog has never licked anyone - she's trained not to lick people/jump up etc. I've come to the conclusion she's simply rude and unwilling to accept anyone who is anything other than "normal" in her eyes.

It's the BF's 21 next weekend and we're going to his party. It should be interesting as it's starting with a meal at a local restaurant.

nokids. We live in a very rural area. I need my dog at home and she comes to work with me as well. It makes me very sad that you wouldn't go to see a friend as they have an animal with them that has transformed their lives. I'd hate to think how you'd react at a guide dog.

"Apparently she feels "uncomfortable" around "people who can't communicate with me properly" (her words). "

As George Bernard Shaw said to an at-home Lady socialite "Likewise"

I don't get how polite or discreet you are no kids you are bang out of order.
Assistance dogs are not an optional extra for their owners they are completely essential to allow their owners to live independently and do all those day to day things you and I take for granted.
Get some therapy to deal with your phobia which is treatable unlike the conditions that assistance dog owners have to live with.

I have a friend who uses a wheelchair; if confronted with a 'Does she take sugar' person, her inevitable reply is, 'Oi, it's the legs that don't work, not the brain!'

It's very interesting to see people's faces when this emerges (with some asperity) from a lady in her 60s.....

can we plan some pithy comments for the 21st?

sit next to her, talk loudly down her ear, say, I'm sorry, I don't think you communicated properly as often as possible.

Tell loud anecdotes about people who are hard of thinking and don't realize that you lip read perfectly.

Contact the restaurant beforehand and get a throne st up for your dog, at the top of the table, then let her sit there in pride of place.

It's actually very hurtful, I think, to be "dismissed" like this by someone on the grounds of something you can't help - it's not actually correct anyway I think it's admirable you are going to the party - I'd be telling her to go fuck herself. You're obviously a better person than I am, though!

By the way, I have a DC who does communicate mainly through sign, my mother (who only knows a few signs) says "he always makes himself understood, even if he's not talking to you!"

I never fail to be surprised by people though, that they are "unashamed" (for want of a better word) of their ignorance. My MIL once described my son as "deaf and dumb", in fairness to her she didn't truly realise how offensive it was, I was actually speechless. Luckily DH wasn't

Hopefully by interacting with you at the party, rude woman will realise how utterly stupid she has been.

oh dear, she may take issue if you bring the dog with you.

Just remember hate crime laws etc as well!

I don't see how asking if a dog can be in another room or on a lead with its owner whilst I am there is rude? If the answer is no then I won't go - I would not expect anyone to put themselves out, or at risk, for my phobia. But it would be a shame if I didn't ask only to find out that it would have been fine wouldn't it?

Nokids, I sort of get the lead thing. But putting the dog out? You're asking someone to put their ears or their eyes to one side.

I get that phobias aren't logical but really if you're going to start anywhere, start with assistance dogs. They're highly trained and they're not going to stray away from their owner.

And hobnobsaremyfave you have no idea what I do or don't take for granted! for all you know I could be disabled or in great need myself - I would still be dog phobic though!

Rude, ignorant and best avoided IMO.

It's not rude for a pet, but v rude for an assistance dog. Please don't do it. As a pp said, seek treatment for your phobia: if it helps, assistance dogs are extremely well trained, less trainable dogs being rejected during the process. Of all dogs they are the least likely to behave in an unexpected/alarming way.

No kids as someone has pointed out an assistance dog is someone's eyes or ears they are unable to function without them. They also have protection in law to accompany their owners at all times.
I appreciate you have a phobia but that is your problem in this instance and trying to control how someone utilises their assistance dog is bloody selfish .

Rude and ignorant, and badly trained herself. Her son must be so ashamed of her.

Ruby sounds lovely. Please can we have a photo!

NoKids, you do realise that's like saying "could you please put your wheelchair in another room away from me, as I really don't like them"

Please never ever do that to someone with an assistance dog.

I hope you're taking Ruby to the meal next week and I hope she pisses in MrsRudeAss's handbag.

What a vile, ill-mannered woman she is. I'd not expect a pet dog to be put away at the demand of a visitor, never mind an assistance dog. If you don't like the family, don't visit the family home is my motto.

The "does she take sugar-ism" is just awful. It's spiteful, hurtful and shitty. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a horrendous person Meggy.

Get a grip! I'm not asking anyone to do anything they can't or don't want to - I simply feel just fine in checking with people before I go to their homes if they have animals in them. I wouldn't be controlling anything, the choice would be theirs not mine.

Luckily you can all relax because I don't know anyone with an assistance dog so won't be offending anyone anytime soon.

I've got a grip thanks
How bloody rude
And yes it is like asking someone to put their wheelchair away because it upsets you
Jeez

NoKids, you really cannot do that. Legally, banks, offices, shops, supermarkets, restaurants, public transport (including taxis) and most businesses that are open to the public cannot ban assistance dogs. It is discrimination if they try.

These dogs are trained to be the eyes and ears of their handlers, some of them are trained to detect impending medical emergencies too, such as hypoglycaemia in diabetics, or epileptic fits. They cannot do this if separated from their handlers. If your phobia of dogs is as severe as you say then you should perhaps get some help with it.

You have to understand that assistance dogs, be they guide dogs, hearing dogs, medical assistance dogs, are not simply pets. Loved and valued members of the owner's family I am sure, yes, but until they are retired they are working dogs with a continuous and vital job.

You need to let the dog get on with its work. It will not come up and bother you.

Meggy, I hope you will all enjoy the meal.

I take it that boyfriend's mum is aware that Ruby WILL be at the meal as your hearing dog, and that there will be NO possibility of her spending the evening tied up outside the restaurant or whatever else this fuckwit cares to suggest.

Hopefully your daughter's boyfriend might have been able to prime her in how to behave better, or if she can't then to just put up and shut up. Ruby stays, and if she (the mum) makes a scene then SHE will be tied up to a lamppost outside the restaurant, not Ruby.

?????? Can't do what? I just said that if I was going to someone's house as a visitor who has a severe phobia of dogs I would not go if it weren't possible to keep me and the dog apart. I wouldn't be stopping anyone doing anything. I wouldn't be insisting or demanding, it wouldn't bother me at all if they just said then it's best not to come.

Shopkeeper once said 'I'm not having that it here it will track mud inside' ... Pointing to my wheelchair.

People never fail to astound me with their ignorance and selfishness.

Sometimes it is someone just having some kind of weird brain malfunction and they're horrified after, but for most it's genuine 'I am more important than you as you are defective' and they don't change their minds no matter how it's explained.