Page 4 | AIBU to think that charging a child rent whilst they're still at home and in the last year of A-levels is wrong?

Pony74 · 2015-05-08T20:02:41+00:00

Happy to be corrected but I personally feel this is a bit off. Thanks.

Feminine · 09/05/2015 11:07

This pushing of qualifications make me laugh.
Half of the kids with good grades, can hardly catch a bus!
Some people are just good at studying and retaining information.
That doesn't always make for a good employee.
Work is just as good, even at 16.
So, if you work you should obviously contribute to the household. Even if only a tiny bit.
I worked full time from 16,made 100 a week (1988) l had to pay my mum (single parent) £60. I left home at 18.

Marynary · 09/05/2015 11:07

A school friend didn't work during a levels and went to uni straight from school then into the civil service. She's just been promoted to the grade that I started on at 21. (She's a day younger than me.)

We could all think of cases where people without qualifications have earned loads of money (e.g. Richard Branson) or people with qualifications who haven't done anything with them. That doesn't change the fact if you have (good) qualifications you have more choices and are more likely to have a well paid job (if you want to) than those who don't.

DisappointedOne · 09/05/2015 11:08

Hilarious. I'm not finding the degree hard all, despite a challenging subject and skipping the first year.

So It wasn't that at all. It was because of the number of students applying for his courses that were doing second degrees/switching career because they realised that they'd chosen the wrong thing at 18. Biochemists and dentists switching to the arts as well as others with other less specific degrees.

DisappointedOne · 09/05/2015 11:10

As head of an HR function I rejected someone for an entry grade admin post as the PhD in Art History really wasn't going to be helpful. They'd been unemployed for 4 years since leaving uni.

Believe me, qualifications aren't the be all and end all. Agree with feminine.

Marynary · 09/05/2015 11:16

So It wasn't that at all. It was because of the number of students applying for his courses that were doing second degrees/switching career because they realised that they'd chosen the wrong thing at 18. Biochemists and dentists switching to the arts as well as others with other less specific degrees.

I don't think that many dentists or biochemists feel the need to do an arts degree afterwards. Anyway, that isn't a good reason for not doing a degree. It is a good reason for being careful to pick the right one. What was your father a lecturer in?

startrek90 · 09/05/2015 11:29

YANBU I had to work 30 hours a week as well as doing my a-levels. My step dad took half my wages and refused to help me with anything. I had to buy my own food clothes books etc... I was also expected to do chores too (he did nothing, think 1950s man). It literally nearly killed me at 18 I had a mental breakdown and he threw me out. I am rebuilding my life now (I'm 24) but I do not speak to him or my sister (who did not have to do anything despite earning 3 times more than me) and it took a toll on my relationship with my mum. I have a son now and I am determined to treat him with dignity. I will never get over my tutor buying me shoes because my SD took my wages and I could not afford new ones...my SD just laughed at the holes in my shoes and handed me some tape...

DisappointedOne · 09/05/2015 11:48

I don't think that many dentists or biochemists feel the need to do an arts degree afterwards. Anyway, that isn't a good reason for not doing a degree. It is a good reason for being careful to pick the right one. What was your father a lecturer in?

I couldn't disagree more. With the current cost of a degree i think that unless there's something you desperately want to be or to study it's best to work and study part time when you can. My cousin will be leaving uni in around £40k worth of debt with a good English degree, after just 4 hours of tutor a week. She'd have been better working and doing an OU degree.

He was a music lecturer - his courses were very highly sought after and drew students from across the globe. It was when he noticed the proportion of applicants who wanted to change from very clearly defined careers that he realised it wasn't right to try and get so many people to study degrees.

3CheekyLittleMonkeys · 09/05/2015 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marynary · 09/05/2015 13:18

I couldn't disagree more. With the current cost of a degree i think that unless there's something you desperately want to be or to study it's best to work and study part time when you can. My cousin will be leaving uni in around £40k worth of debt with a good English degree, after just 4 hours of tutor a week. She'd have been better working and doing an OU degree.

Most highly paid jobs require a good degree and/or other qualification. Even less well paid jobs often require a degree nowadays. It is far easier to get the degree first and then work in a reasonably paid job than it is to get a low paid job and then study part time. Also, you don't have to pay back the debt for the degree unless you earn over a certain salary so arguably only those who get good jobs as a result of the degree have to pay for them.

The fact remains that people with good A levels, degrees and other jobs are more likely to have higher paid jobs than those with few/no qualification. Pointing out situations you know where a degree hasn't benefited someone doesn't change that.

Marynary · 09/05/2015 13:20

and other jobs

aprilanne · 09/05/2015 13:20

when my sons are working full time i would expect something just a token amount .its the principle.but not at college or uni or there partime jobs

ButtonBee123 · 09/05/2015 13:27

DisappointedOne, what you don't seem to realise is how different it is for teenagers entering the workplace these days. It would be nearly impossible now to get the kind of opportunities you say you had and to progress in the same way you claim to have done.
I am in my early 20s, got a job as soon as I was able to (while doing 4 A-levels) and worked as many hours as I could fit around college. I paid my parents £100 a month and also bought food for myself and paid for everything else I needed. I was very responsible with my money and didn't go out much but there was no chance I'd have been able to afford driving lessons or a car. In fact most of my spare money went on a tutor because I spent so much of my free time working that my grades were suffering.
I moved out in my second year of uni and had to get student loan to do so (and even then they didn't cover all of my rent and bills).I had to keep working in order to meet my living expenses (which are not unreasonable for where I live) and so still didn't have money for things like driving lessons or savings for a house.
I have now graduated with a good degree and am in a pretty high paying job for my age group. I'm only just now able to think about things like driving lessons (at a severely discounted rate from a friend's husband). Buying my own house isn't even something I can dream about achieving in the next 10years (even with parents willing help and my partner earning good money as well).
So no, today's 18year olds aren't behaving like babies, they are just in a very different position than you were at 18. No one is going to hire a college leaver with minimal experience when there are 10people with degrees and experience applying for the same position.

OP yanbu, life is shit enough for young people entering the workplace these days, there is a lot of pressure on them and if they are able to work as well and their family don't need the money then they should be able to enjoy the rewards from their hard work.

DisappointedOne · 09/05/2015 15:42

With respect, ButtonBee, I'm an HR consultant. I know exactly how recruitment works, and no, people don't always want graduates!

crispandfruity · 09/05/2015 16:10

My 18yo doesn't pay rent/keep. And, I'm sure you'll all think I'm soft, I still give them pocket money. I had to work from 16+ and I want my kids to enjoy being young and feel cared for.

My 18yo has had casual jobs around studying and anything earned is a bonus for them to do what they want with.

Marynary · 09/05/2015 16:32

With respect, ButtonBee, I'm an HR consultant.

I thought you said that you run your own business? Anyway, if you are currently an HR consultant you will know that the well paid jobs usually require qualifications and it is disingenuous to suggest otherwise.

ScarySpiceMum · 09/05/2015 16:49

Very strange culture. Children aren't skivies. Christ. Clean up, be polite, respect the house, keep your money to better yourself. I find it tacky to take money from your kids unless they are rolling in it. Its bloody primitive. The stories on here of parents taking their kids EMA or making them leave school is horrific. Thought people only did that in developing countries.

ScarySpiceMum · 09/05/2015 16:52

ButtonBee123 I agree!!!!!

Icimoi · 09/05/2015 17:12

Disappointed, you do come over as having a bit of a chip on your shoulder about people with degrees. Why reject someone solely because they have a Ph.D? I suspect that the reality is that you rejected this candidate for other reasons.

I work in a field where we regularly have hundreds of applications for low level jobs which are nevertheless the first step into a professional field. We have to find a way to sort them into manageable numbers and the first sift is for people with a 2:1 degree or above, and/or people with specific experience in our field - the latter being invariably a fairly tiny minority. I'm afraid qualifications do count.

Feminine · 09/05/2015 17:13

People who can study are one thing.
People who are if use to an employer are a whole different type of person.
Just because you know how to recite, and regurgitate information, does nit always make for a good employee.
Clear comprehension, good basic maths skills will get you far, in pretty much any job.
if one starts young enough.
Obviously, jobs requiring degrees etc...ie: doctor is a different situation.

LineRunner · 09/05/2015 17:24

A music lecturer two decades ago knowing dentists switching to arts degrees?

Marynary · 09/05/2015 17:28

Feminine whether or not you personally feel that a particular job requires a degree is not relevant. What counts is whether or people with a degree have an advantage when it comes to getting a well paid job.

Feminine · 09/05/2015 17:35

I think they sometimes have an advantage.
It all depends on the interview and how dynamic/personable the interviewee comes across. (ime) l have met many daft people with degrees, so l'm sure employers must do also.
I do take your point though :)

drudgetrudy · 09/05/2015 17:43

I think its extremely mean to take rent off an 18 year old A level student. My parent's didn't even do this to me in the 1960s and they weren't particularly well off. The only excuse would be that the family were utterly and completely skint-but I still think that with 18 and unders that's the parent's problem to sort out.
I was't spoiled or babied by their help-I've managed to work and support myself the rest of my life.

Marynary · 09/05/2015 17:48

Feminine Considering that people without a degree probably won't even get an interview for the more competitive well paid jobs nowadays, it doesn't all depend on the interview.

grannytomine · 09/05/2015 17:56

Disapointedone, I am head of HR in a biggish organisation. I left school at 15 with no qualifications. Yes it can be done, damn easier 40 years ago than now. At 21 I was buying my second house, 2nd baby so we decided we wanted something bigger. By 25 I was studying part-time.

I wouldn't advise my kids to do the same.

My DD is mid 20s. She has a first class degree from a top ranked uni. She has travelled the world, some of her travel was free as she was on uni projects where she got paid pocketmoney plus expenses. She has a good job. She has plenty of time for the mortgage and babies. She has her degree, she has her post grad qualifications, she has a fantastic CV. For her current job and the one she is soon starting she applied on line and in minutes, yes under 15 minutes, she got phone calls from the companies concerned and in the first one within 30 mins they had applied for her references. In both cases they said her CV was fantastic, the breadth of experience for her age was outstanding. She has lots of work experience starting at 15, all her jobs were something she could link to her ambitions, she had two career plans at that age and even the job she did at 15 is relevant to the career she has chosen. Even without her job I don't think her degree is a waste, a degree shouldn't just be about how much you earn and for her it was much more.

In my 60s I can see there is time to do lots of thing but at 18 I wanted the house the babies the job.

I did my part-time studying for 5 years and yes I did OK but I didn't have the fun she had.

Did I do it wrong? Maybe, it has turned out well but it was hard work. Did she get it right? I think she probably made better choices than I did but who knows how her story will end. The point is there is more than one path and your path might have been a good choice for you or there might have been a better one, who knows?

I hope you didn't turn down a good candidate because they had a PhD, they might have had lots of other skills, don't let prejudice blind you. It diminishes you because as someone said it makes you look as if you have a chip on your shoulder which is never a good look.