Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this reception teacher to back down?

374 replies

kathryng90 · 07/05/2015 20:46

My son will be 5 in June. He is in reception. They are having a teddy bear picnic tomorrow. Text message yesterday warning parents 'bring your child's favourite bear to school'. My son loves his build a bear toothless dragon bear. He told his reception teacher how excited he was to bring this toy to school. He was sobbing as he came out of school and teacher said to me 'DS is sad as he has said he wants to bring toothless to school tomorrow. He can't. It's a teddy bear picnic not a dragon picnic. Our theme is goldilocks and the 3 bears not 3 dragons. Find a bear'

He is so upset, toothless is his favourite bear. I have suggested that we take toothless plus a teddy bear. AIBU to ask teacher to let toothless sit on desk and watch while bear joins in? Or am I undermining teacher? Another compromise? He's 4 ffs.....

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ohdearitshappeningtome · 08/05/2015 04:43

Does the teacher know it's a teddy from build a bear (shop not relevant but the fact it's a stuffed toy )?

CamelHump · 08/05/2015 06:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoldierBear · 08/05/2015 06:11

It's irrelevant that it is from Build a Bear. They classify their products as bears, dogs, cats, bunnies, wild friends etc. they are quite clear about the difference and don't classify Toothless as a bear but as a dragon.
The text offered children a chance to bring a bear. So even if some people use the term "teddy" to mean "soft toy", saying "bear" is specific.
Yes the teacher could have handled it better, but there could have been tons of other stuff going on when your son asked her. You should have handled his expectations better. Toothless has been to school when a dragon was asked for. Now it's the turn for bears. Time to start teaching your son the difference.

propelusagain · 08/05/2015 06:17

YABU.

Local charity shops sell bears for 50p.

Elvish · 08/05/2015 06:57

DD is going to a teddy bears picnic next week at Rainbows. It had genuinely not occurred to me that she needed to take a random bear shaped cuddly toy that she has no attachment to rather than her favourite giraffe.

I think it's a shame the teacher made a big deal of it, but now you've asked and she has confirmed you'll be making a clear statement if you send in toothless.

I'm going to stick with letting DD take her giraffe and I won't be checking if it's ok.

Shelby2010 · 08/05/2015 07:04

I never let my DD take her special bear in to the nursery teddy bears picnics as pick up time is invariably full of desperate parents trying to locate their offsprings favourite bear as they need it for bedtime! It's bear carnage. DD takes in one of the less favoured bears, with a ribbon round it's neck with her name on, and it usually still ends up either in someone else's bag or left up a tree in the garden.

SoupDragon · 08/05/2015 07:05

Oh dear god, just take a damn bear.

As someone else said, no way would I let my child take their very favourite toy in anyway.

MythicalKings · 08/05/2015 07:10

So he asked. And the teacher said no. And you're going to send it anyway?

Great way to teach your son to respect school "rules".

Mistigri · 08/05/2015 07:25

If "bear" is often used as a synonym for soft toy then it's quite likely that other kids, who didn't check with the teacher, will turn up with another toy. Some may not even own a bear.

However ... teacher sounds like a cow and I don't think you can send your DS in with his dragon now as it will end in more tears. Send in a bear, or have your own dragons' picnic at home.

ltk · 08/05/2015 07:35

The teacher is being ridiculous. With all the choice in cuddly toys I find it hard to believe all the childen even own a bear. Mine don't. Stupid numbers of toy dogs though.

VivaLeBeaver · 08/05/2015 07:48

I think you need to back the teacher up and take a bear.

This is more than a bear at a picnic. It's an opportunity to teach your son that ultimately a teacher has authority. Some may think that's an old fashioned view but I think at a time when you see primary age kids telling teachers to fuck off that it's an important lesson.

Save your parent/teacher disagreements for the big stuff.

VivaLeBeaver · 08/05/2015 07:50

Ok, I see you're going to do it anyway.

Well I just hope that down the line your teacher doesn't ask your son to do something such as come and sit for circle time. Your son thinks he doesn't want to do it, reflects on this lesson and thinks that teacher requests can be ignored when you don't feel like complying.

SirChenjin · 08/05/2015 07:53

I think that it takes a massive stretch of the imagination to suggest that taking a stuffed dragon to a picnic leads to a lack of respect with children telling teachers to fuck off.

Only1scoop · 08/05/2015 07:54

I'd just send him in with favourite teddy of his choice....surely it doesn't matter if they are of the bear variety Confused

Ridiculous

SoldierBear · 08/05/2015 07:56

I think it takes a massive stretch of the imagination to hear "teddy bear" and think "dragon"

Different people think different things but refusing to concede to a reasonable request to bring a bear is OTT and not going to achieve anything positive.

TheMagnificientFour · 08/05/2015 07:56

The problem is that the teacher said 'Bring your favorite bear to the picnic'.
She will (or should!) know that people refer to all soft toys as 'Teddy Bears' regardless of the shape so it is likely that most children won't have heard that they need to bring a BEAR but a soft toy.
That was up to her to make it extremely clear when she talked to the children in class (And she clearly wasn't if the OP's ds thought it was OK to bring a dragon).
This is getting even ore confusing for ther children when she is talking about their favourite bear because then the accent is on favourite not bear iyswim.
In that respect, I think she is wrong.
And yes as adult I can see the relationship wurth the story etc but the children won't!
And that's wo the issue that it's possible that some children will NOT have a bear at home (dc1 never had one. He didn't like them. But he had quite a few soft toys).

I bet there will be quite a few 'bears' that aren't bears at that party!

Bodyinpyjamas10 · 08/05/2015 07:58

Jesus is this still going?

Just tell your ds he has to take in a bear not a dragon.

Seriously what is the problem.

SirChenjin · 08/05/2015 08:05

Exactly Magnificent.

TheWindowDonkey · 08/05/2015 08:06

Hmmm, the teacher was rather rude wasn't she Op. We're talking about a 4 YEAR OLD here. Some of these responses are irrational. Of course he should take his dragon! Or you could just keep him home today and do your own picnic?

RoboticSealpup · 08/05/2015 08:15

I was obsessed with very fond of cuddly toys when I was a child, but I don't think I had a single one that resembled a bear. Teddy bears were popular children's toys in the 1950's, they're a bit of an anachronism now. A bit like this conservative nation in general.

RoboticSealpup · 08/05/2015 08:20

Sorry about that last bit, I' just really upset about the election result...

SoupDragon · 08/05/2015 08:27

I have never said "bear" when I've meant "stuffed animal". Why on earth would I? Confused

A bear is a bear.
A dragon is a dragon.

The teacher has clarified with the OP that it should be a bear not a dragon.

Babymamamama · 08/05/2015 08:36

If you undermine the teacher and all the other parents do the same then the theme could be lost . It's a life lesson for your child. Follow the brief.

jopickles · 08/05/2015 08:40

are you from Hull OP cos my daughter has had exactly the same thing, she wanted to take a stuffed toy that wasn't a bear and was told no it had to be a bear

ApocalypseThen · 08/05/2015 09:00

I can't believe anyone would suggest keeping a child off school to indulge their wish to picnic with a toy dragon and, presumably, show the teacher who's boss.

What's going to happen when they start work?

Swipe left for the next trending thread