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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU.. Holiday costs? Splitting accommodation dosh.

314 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/05/2015 07:12

Here's the deal...

A group of us are going to mainland Europe and hiring a villa in August .

We are two couples (one room each) and a a family with teenage kids (3 rooms).

To get a villa large enough without having to tolerate delightfully messy teenagers sleeping on floor, we've had to go up a price band.

Also the 'family' mum has insisted on an extra room so she can have her old friends that are native to the country to stay an odd few days here and there.. We have never met these people.

We are also travelling in Aug aroubd the kids holidays...we have sucked up the extra cost of travelling at peak time so we can all holiday together.

So we are booking a 6 bedroomed villa.. In August.

we have had a email with our proposed cost per couple/family...the total amount has been divided by 3..AIBU to be Hmm about this?

How would people divide this the most fairly? .. Without being seen as either petty or being taken advantage of..?

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 02/05/2015 14:06

Dont go. It's not just the accommodation cost, it will be a nightmare trying to.negotiate splitting bills for food/drink etc

daftbesom · 02/05/2015 14:25

Re catering, on my Great Big Villa Holiday last year (14 of us) we split the food bill by the number of people. Two little people counted as one bigger person but even young teenagers counted as adults as they ate the same amount if not more (and also caned the soft drinks like billy-oh). We kept alcohol out of the equation as some of us were non-drinkers.

Adults and teenagers took turns at the cooking - we produced one evening meal each for the holiday and went out the rest of the time, not necessarily together for restaurant meals.

We hired our own cars, twas worth the money.

I would want to pay by number of rooms occupied as first choice, by number of people in the party by 2nd choice. A 3-way straight split is completely inappropriate when you are talking about different numbers of people. (Even for the communal rooms/ pool - they are physically using them more than you are.)

But finally - if this is the way it's starting off and you can't get it to a way you think is fair, I would add my voice to others and say pull out.

KumquatMay · 02/05/2015 14:42

OP, this holiday sounds awful.

If you really are desperate to go on holiday with them, do not book anything until it's payment terms (food, rooms, transport etc) have all been agreed. If you do, you've only yourself to blame.

RunRunAsFastishAsYouCan · 02/05/2015 14:55

Have you spoken to your dh yet???

orangutanhihio · 02/05/2015 15:02

Dont go. Any person who suggested that cost split would be no friend of mine. Group holidays are a nightmare unless you're all in separate accommodation, separate cars etc.

Charley50 · 02/05/2015 15:04

Fill us in OP!!!

shushpenfold · 02/05/2015 15:07

Frankly, given this info and the fact that you haven't booked yet, I'd be running a mile. If you decide to go though you're going to have to decide and agree now on what the rules are ref sharing costs of food/drink. Sounds fairly hideous but up to you!!

NotYouNaanBread · 02/05/2015 15:43

The bossymum is chancing her arm, but I don't see the harm in neutrally pointing out the much more logical way of dividing it up (ie per person, with the two random locals counting as people too!). Say also that you anticipate dividing food costs per person also. 2 cars are cheaper than 1 big one. Also easier to drive.

Decide whether or not to go based on her reply.

Presumably you like this person, otherwise you wouldn't have decided to go on holiday together, so at least discuss it.

But def. pull out if she ever brings up the 3 way split again.

Charley50 · 02/05/2015 15:48

I think it's a wind-up. I can feel it in my waters.

FishWithABicycle · 02/05/2015 15:49

As for hiring a people carrier - might seem sensible for a large group, but two or even three smaller cars would give everyone more flexibility

Exactly this. Do not hire a people carrier. 2 or 2 smaller cars much more sensible.

SouthernComforts · 02/05/2015 15:58

No way would I pay for their kids!

I'm going on a group holiday soon. 5 adults and 1 child (mine) I made sure my share included me and dd and the adults paid forthemselves. Anything else is a piss take.

scribblescrabble · 02/05/2015 16:00

I would just say that you didn't realise it would cost as much as it is doing and that you can't afford it

HamishBamish · 02/05/2015 16:00

YANBU. The cost should be split by the number of rooms. If she wants 3 rooms at her disposal then she needs to pay for them.

DinosaursRoar · 02/05/2015 16:03

If you haven't already, pull out of this. Yes, they'll need to book a different villa unless they want yet another spare room.

Another thought would be to look for 2 smaller villas, one for you and the other couple, and another for the family who need one for themselves. Or look to stay in a hotel in the same area around the same time. You could say you didn't realise it would cost so much, or that you would prefer to go catered, but would love to meet up with them a few times on holiday...

Mintyy · 02/05/2015 16:08

Personally I think you are absolutely nuts to go on holiday in the school holidays when you don't have children.

Have you seen how the price jumps in the third week of July and down again in the first week of September? If you are serious about saving money then go in the first fortnight of July or September. Book a nice hotel and lounge by the pool.

Redlocks28 · 02/05/2015 16:27

Personally I think you are absolutely nuts to go on holiday in the school holidays when you don't have children.

This!!

AgathaChristie01 · 02/05/2015 16:28

My idea of hell, tbh. I'd run a mile, while you still have the chance.

DinosaursRoar · 02/05/2015 16:41

oh actually, if you don't have DCs and they do, then you have the perfect excuse to cancel "oh disaster! Seems all the working parents in my/DH's office have got in first and we can't get a full week off for the whole of the school holidays unless someone else cancels leave. Most annoying as I know at least one dad has booked 2 weeks and will only be taking one of them, but I don't have his personal details to find out which week he's going away now. The rest of you have a great time, we're so sad to miss it, we'll probably go the first week of July. I really didn't realise parents got their holiday requests in so early!"

(this gives you the opportunity to still go away in the school holidays without them saying "but I thought you couldn't" as you have already set the scene that you might be able to if someone else cancels...)

PurpleCrazyHorse · 02/05/2015 16:44

We only holiday with one couple that we get on excellently well with and also have very similar parenting styles. Previously, when DD was 14mo and then 3.5yo, they suggested splitting 50:50 and we insisted they had the best room. We split food, drinks & alcohol 50:50 (I don't drink alcohol but obviously DD was eating some of the food so balanced out). We had a spreadsheet and we took it in turns to pay for stuff, including fuel, then a bit of Excel maths to work out if we'd each paid half. We also had a bit of a kitty for tolls etc.

Our friends actually say it works out well for them too as they get a better equipped villa for their money than they would renting a small one just for them. We usually have a pool, dishwasher, nice dining area etc, plus DH shares the driving and the boys/girls can go off and do separate things too.

We would however always offer to pay our share.

I think you either need to be very clear about changing the split of the accommodation costs (and therefore food/drink costs too) but you also need to be sure about how you're paying for other stuff too, including car hire (which presumably you'll need to at least go shopping) and taxi to/from the airport.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 02/05/2015 16:46

And I'm so jealous that you have the option to holiday outside of school holidays, we had the best camping holiday (with glorious UK weather) the first week of September (several years ago!)

Stinkersmum · 02/05/2015 16:56

Fuck that. Pull out now. End.

QueenArseClangers · 02/05/2015 16:57

There's a 7 night holiday to Barbados in Sept for £550 on Holiday Pirates.
Sod the villa!

Sophieelmer · 02/05/2015 17:01

roar would you really lie to get out of this, rather than being straight with friends?

Dowser · 02/05/2015 17:33

That's a bargain.

Holiday pirates....will keep an eye on that one.

Stitchintime1 · 02/05/2015 17:37

Can't you just have a discussion? Or an email exchange? Obviously splitting equally is ridiculous.

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