To want to scream in the face of those who say "he/she had a MELTDOWN"

[Skeeter3]

Just no, ok!?

The frequent current misconception that even a big tantrum is in any way comparable to an actual meltdown REALLY boils my piss!!!!!

Yes tantrums can be unpleasant and distressing for all parties BUT they're still not meltdowns.

It demeans those that are dealing with medically defined meltdowns.

The more the word is used to describe a normal childhood tantrum, the less people understand or are tolerant when a child does suffer a meltdown.

If you're guilty of this JUST STOP DOING IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Yabu because the medical community decided to use a word, you can't ban everyone else to stop using it.

It was not a word invented for children with sn. Also not everyone knows adults or children on the spectrum, so how would they know its been adopted as a medical term.

'spaz' is completely different as its always been a derogatory term.

Seconded, Boysclothes.

I appreciate your frustration, OP, but think you're being a bit unreasonable.

dawn that's a bit different though isn't it? Spaz is meant as a derogatory insult and as far as I'm aware it has been for a long time. I'm nearly 40 and I remember my mum going postal at my brother calling me that.

The word meltdown isn't a horrible insult to someone, it's a word...

YABU and over dramatic.

I didn't know it had a medical definition, can someone please link /explain the medical definition of it? I've never heard it said by a medical professional.

I don't have much of an opinion on "meltdown" but I agree with Ohno about people using other medical terms incorrectly. My least favourite is people claiming to be "so OCD about xyz", it's really offensive. I have OCD, I've been to therapy about it and I struggle with compulsive thoughts and behaviours every day.

Quite, My lo's last meltdown resulted in a 3in laceration to her head, concussion and a hospital stay (dmil forgot to switch her buzzer off, something about that frequency really sets my lo off).

The time before that resulted in a black eye and burst lip for me and bruised head for my lo where she repeatedly head butted me and anything else she could get to.

She's 2.5 years old.

Get over yourself.

YANBU to want to differentiate between meltdowns an tantrums.

But YABU if you're trying to suggest that NT kids are only ever brats having a tantrum. Not nice. Boring old NT kids do have real emotions too.

You're not going to get the best response in here, OP. AIBU brings out the worst in people.

You sound under a lot of stress but the thing that is making you stressed is surely the meltdown itself, rather than the terminology?

All of us get pissed off when people misuse terms - above someone pointed to 'depressed' and 'panic attack' - they're serious incidents yet people use them to describe minor events.

You can't own the term 'meltdown' - it will mean different things to different people. You're not being unreasonable to object to it, but you are being unreasonable if you think people will take a lot of notice.

But surely meltdown isn't a recognised medical term that other people have 'stolen' and are using in appropriately. It's a word that the medical profession sometimes use to describe something, but which is also used in other contexts.

I use the term & will continue to do so, tough shit OP-YABU, build a bridge & get over it ffs

youmake I've tried googling meltdown as a medical term and can't find anything. It could well be that I'm not looking in the right place though.

Just because some medical professionals decide to start using a word, doesn't mean it becomes theirs alone.

OP - it's just a word.

Yes, for you it may seem offensive that people have commandeered it, but perhaps you can flip it on it's head and be patient and explain why it offends you.

My DS and I have both been hospitalised (DS once, me several times) for life-threatening allergies to nuts. So perhaps I am in the same position with people who claim wanky aversions to food as being 'allergic' as it debases the word. Instead, I just smile inwardly when someone recently declared they were "severely allergic to Chardonnay, but fine with other kinds of white wine".

Some of the responses on here are completely unnecessarily aggressive and rude. It's bewildering. Even after the OP has posted her own very hard experience with a child who has SN people just post dismissive nasty things. For heaven's sake.

What's the DSM5?

I don't think a child having a tantrum is a brat, I think it's a child who isn't able to verbalise their frustration at a situation, a child who needs help, reassurance and understanding or a kid that's just really pissed off.

I understand a little OP and to add something helpful (hopefully)

I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. Have been suffering with PND and severe depression.

I am currently on Income Support which requires me to attend 6 monthly interviews.

At the last one the Job Centre interviewer asked me why I hadn't been looking for work . I explained I have been coping with depression and subsequent anxiety problems.

"Oh we all get a bit anxious sometimes, you just have to take a deep breath and get on with it"

I was too upset to pull her up on her ignorance.

What I should have said is "oh so you understand what it's like to be so petrified of leaving the house, you hide in a cupboard with your baby because you'll both be safe there?"

"You know what it's like to be so worried about the GP appointment/dental appointment/trip to town the following day that you decide to stay awake all night, just to make sure you don't have nightmares and lie awake tossing and turning all night"

"You know what anxiety is do you?"

We don't own words, we use them as we see fit and as much as we the "Mumsnet Community" may be used to Anxiety, OCD, Meltdown being very specific and not to be used lightly, the wider world doesn't know or doesn't care.

It's shite but you have to pick your battles.

YABU.

Your ASD kid's 'meltdown' might be different than my non ASD kid's 'meltdown' in the same way that we both might grieve or feel actual pain differently but you don't get to feel more special about your kids tantrum/meltdown than I get to feel about mine and you don't get to tell me what I can call it having survived it.

The insult spaz, is taken from the medical word spastitic used to describe a type of muscle tone.

I have meltdowns as a result of AS, but have never required a hospital trip as a result. Does that mean I can't call them meltdowns?

I agree, I think the OP is stressed in general. And focusing on this.

Meltdown is a word that has been adopted by some in the medical community.

Panic attack is a very general term, with a huge range in severity.

Spaz has been a derogatory term for decades so is not related, to panic attack or meltdown.

I agree with people using 'i'm so ocd over xyz' because as far as I am aware that is a medical term and always was and is a diagnosed illness.

I have no objections to anyone using the term meltdown and I do have a child with aspergers who has "proper" ones. It's a word with many levels of meaning, it's not offensive or derogatory or a medical condition. Just a word.