To be ashamed dh is voting conservative

[Jacobsmum1972]

I'm very left wing dh is centre right Aibu to not want friends or family finding this out.

Do you see how having the bedroom tax (or whatever you call it) even though it doesn't work looks uncaring? As does being willing to vote for the party that is happy to have this situation? And as does saying this?

"but really, people living in council housing with disabilities who need the extra space for carers must form a very small proportion of the people in council accommodation"

I don't know what the proportion is but surely they should still matter even if they are few in number? Shouldn't they matter enough to make people in power go "hang on, this isn't working, we'd better stop it"?

*NOBODY goes for the elderly and wealthy, all the parties go for the young and poor. Conservatives do it, Labour do it. For the simple reason that they're far more of them and they're much more likely to vote.
*

I'm not sure it's quite so black and white. The young have chances and opportunities to improve their lives - the elderly do not. They can't work. They are at the end , not the beginning of their ives.

I would argue that the elderly, ill and disabled are precisely who need most support above everyone else . The rest of us CAN improve our lot.

The fact is Breezy that the bedroom tax ( important as it is ) forms one small part of a myriad of policies and issues that we must consider when deciding who has our vote.

For me, there are mor eimportant issues predominantly the conomy, employment, the deficit, education etc etc.

I accept that fo rothers their priorities will be different which is why we live in a democracy.

Yabu, thread titles like this are very wrong, imagine if a man was bashing his wife for voting labour?

Op so your dad was a miner, maybe your dh feels sympathy for those who died in Blairs wars?

prepperpig - Most 96 year olds moving out of a house they have lived in for years, would die in a few weeks of moving. That is why this doesn't apply to very elderly people. The papers would be full of stories of people dying after their forced move.

Where I live, there are not enough cheaper 1 and 2 bedroom properties for people to downsize into. There are expensive executive flats, but the social housing is mainly 3 bedroom with a small number of 2 bedroom properties. And the private rented properties are mainly 2 or 3 bedroomed terraced houses.

So in reality, many people on housing benefit pay more for their housing because they have had a cut in housing benefit. Thus it is a bedroom tax.

Breezy the hash reality is that the government is not there to seem caring. The government is there to run our country efficiently. The better our financial situation as a country, the better our ability to the use the money will then have to deal with the things that need to be addressed such as housing, education NHS etc.

My personal view is that if there is a reason why a council house tenant needs the additional room connected to caring requirements then there should be a way that this can be demonstrated so that they are not penalised. But my Grandad, bless him, should not have his large London council house. It should go to a family.

So actually what we seem to be doing here is arguing that your "niceness" focussed on disabled people negatively impacted, outweighs my "niceness" focussed on families crammed into unsuitable housing.

Shades of grey...

moreage clearly my argument isn't only about those very elderly residents. I was simply using my own grandfather as an example. In actual fact he is as fit as a fiddle and spends most of his time at his girlfriend's flat.

I could just as easily have given my 60(ish) year old aunt and uncle as an example. They live in a three bed council flat in London. All children grown up and left.

Most 96 year olds moving out of a house they have lived in for years, would die in a few weeks of moving.

I doubt it, tbh. That's very patronizing, actually.

Many old people have to move home because they can't live by themselves and rarely will die within a few weeks.

It's not what the government seems like, it's what people willing to vote for a government that looks at the collateral damage to disabled people of the bedroom tax and says "job done, that'll do, nothing to improve here" seem like.

Not thinking it really matters that much does look reasonably unpleasant, to many people.

"So actually what we seem to be doing here is arguing that your "niceness" focussed on disabled people negatively impacted, outweighs my "niceness" focussed on families crammed into unsuitable housing."

Only if you assume that it is simply impossible to look after one without looking after the other as well.

Erudite what a load of bollocks. Most of the pensioners I know are a good 10-15 years younger than I will be when I retire, are healthy, sprightly and travel widely. Most of the infirm doddering pensioners in their 80s and 90s who went through rationing and WW2 as children aren't the ones with massive pensions and big houses. That's the baby boomers.

If you genuinely think that people have 'chances and opportunities to improve their lives'? If that's the case why are children who live in poverty more likely to have a working parent than a parent on benefits?

I'm assuming that you are over the age of 40 if you still hold the misguided belief that work is a way out of poverty.

I object to the bedroom tax on different grounds. I object to it because if you are a family who have lived in a 3 bedroomed house with one child, you've paid taxes for 20 years and then you both get made redundant you'll either have to move out of your home or be penalised.

I would support the bedroom tax if it was only made on people who had been claiming housing benefit for more than 12 months and had been assessed as not having a need for it. But that would be pointless because the assessment would cost more than the saving.

I disagree with that policy for sure. But I know that it was under Labour that housing became so unaffordable that a spare room became an issue.

"I object to the bedroom tax on different grounds. I object to it because if you are a family who have lived in a 3 bedroomed house with one child, you've paid taxes for 20 years and then you both get made redundant you'll either have to move out of your home or be penalised."

In the event of redunancy you get a pay out would cushion you. You also get job seekers allowance and income related income support if you have savings before a certain threshold. A person with a mortgage gets no mortgage relief until they have been unemployed more than a certain length of time.

I'm assuming that you are over the age of 40 if you still hold the misguided belief that work is a way out of poverty.

It was for my parents, aunts, uncles - and husband. And Alan Sugar, JK Rowling, several close friends and literally thousands of entrepeneurs.

I think though that you have hit upon one of the great fundamental differences between Left and Right. I am over forty and maybe I am idelaistic but yes, I absolutely believe in the human spirit and drive and risk and ambition. Luck, obviously plays an enormous role but when the economic conditions ar good in the country ( as they are now) then the world can be your lobster!

Aermingers - seriously reaching with that senario. If both lose their job there are going to be lots of things they can't afford. Not sure why they would be expecting their whole rent to be paid. It wouldn't happen in the private rented or mortgage sector.

Mmmm do you think he is ashamed of you too?

A scenario Aer which based on probability of happening would impact few enough people that it should not be a factor in shaping policy.

Although, I disagree that redundancy payments provide much of a cushion. Businesses can no longer afford the ridiculous gold plated redundancy packages and many offer statutory only now. Even the local authorities etc now pay more realistic sums (since they were being bankrupted by massive payouts!)

YABU. I dislike the Conservatives with a Passion. Mainly because I'm very leftwing myself. But it's your Husbands vote and he's perfectly entitled to use it as he chooses to.

Bang on, Snowgirl.

I'm over 40. I've lost the ability to think for myself and need younger people to dictate to me.

Younger people who are down wiv da yoof. Like Russell Brand only cleaner and not middle aged and a hypocrite?

YABVVVU

I don't get why being left wing liberal is seen as socially acceptable, and anything else and you are meant to feel shamed by society.

My DP and I will be voting in different ways. This is due to how we engage with and value different policy areas. Ultimately I know he is a good man and I'm neither ashamed nor disappointed by his voting intentions. However, I do find them hard to understand.

Sali Hughes wrote a good article on what happens when you vote differently to your OH (relevant whichever what you vote I think).

www.the-pool.com/life/love-sex/13/sali-hughes-on-dating-a-tory

So OP, I think YABU but I entirely sympathise with your predicament.