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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think friend should have been grateful for this free mini-break and not bring a man into our bedroom?

142 replies

GuestCat · 25/04/2015 09:49

Friend has been going through a hard time, so I paid £120 for her to join me, DP and 18 other friends on a 3-night mini break.
DP and I were looking forward to some romantic time together. Day before the trip, friend said she isn't comfortable sharing a room with anyone other than me, as she doesn't know anyone else on trip that well. Friend asked to share with me. I said she could share with me and DP. He was a bit miffed but didn't complain, and when we got there he kindly dragged a camp-bed into our room for himself, so friend could share double-bed with me. Room had no lock, so we agreed we'd use a piece of wood to jam the door if friend or DP were getting changed, and that we'd all knock.

Second night, party in full-swing, friend was downstairs chatting with other friends. DP and I decided to have a quickie in room. We jammed door and started having sex standing-up (away from bed and fully dressed). 10mins later friend starts trying to open door, I shouted 'wait we're getting changed' friend ignores this (she was quite drunk) and forced door just as DP is doing up his trousers. Friend doesn't notice anything, she's come to find her lipstick and is happily chatting away!
Next morning I explained to her we'd been having sex in corner when she burst in. She seemed surprised and not pleased. Later that eve, she said she and a male friend wanted to have a 'private chat' in bedroom, we literally thought they meant a chat, thought maybe something romantic was developing so said fine, agreed not to disturb them. 3 hours later I knocked on door, was denied access. Another hour later friend and male friend came out, when I asked her why they were so long, friend smugly informed me they'd been giving each other oral sex and cuddling naked in bed! It was a one-off, she has no plans to see him again.

I didn't say anything to her but feel really really let down by this. We kindly let her share our room, paid for her accommodation etc, yet she brought a man (someone we didn't even know) into our bedroom, got naked with him in our shared bed, and shut us out of room for 4 hours while they went down on each other! AIBU to feel shocked, disgusted and let-down?

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 25/04/2015 11:10

A romantic weekend with 18 other people there? Fat chance. Whole thing sounds ghastly.

Sallystyle · 25/04/2015 11:12

To lower the tone even more, I can't quite work out how people shag standing up.

Maybe it is because dh is a foot taller than me.

DontWorryBeHappyNow · 25/04/2015 11:15

PMSL at balls2DWall - keep 'em coming Grin

Brandysnapper · 25/04/2015 11:18

She seemed surprised and not pleased - why would your friend seem pleased when you inform her about having sex, that would be weirder surely?

PHANTOMnamechanger · 25/04/2015 11:18

shameless place marking from me.

Just wow. Bizarre.

Please explain - the 18 friends, were they all mainly couples? Maybe your friend thought she was some kind of extra at a swingers convention!

Was the 'guest' she brought into your room one of your party, or some other random? How come she can't share a room with presumably another of your single female mates, but she can happily hook up for a one night stand?? (and just ew at her doing it the bed YOU had to share)

Do people have no discretion thesedays? Does everyone really tell all about their most PRIVATE moments?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/04/2015 11:18

caspian I think it sounds like inferiority rather than jelousy. I had a friend when I was 16 who had a boyfriend. I slept with her boyfriend friend who I didn't even fancy as I thought my friend would be laughing at me and calling me square if I didnt. Sounds stupid now but that's the mind of a 16 yeAr old but the I'd assume op's friend is not 16. But some people never lose that inferiority complex do they and the feeling that people are laughing at them.
Yes good that the op paid but like I said she ain't the only one entitled to shag!. But what I don't get is why did the friend except the invitation of she felt that way and why was op comfortable to let her stay in the room. What ever way you look at it's weird. I wouldn't want someone in the room with me and dp while we shagging. It's a private thing.
All seems a bit kinky to me but each to their own

HemanOrSheRa · 25/04/2015 11:19

Me neither U2. And locked in a room for 4 hours having oral sex? I'd have to take a packed lunch in with me, at the very least.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 25/04/2015 11:22

Yabu. It's not only you entitled to have a shag, love

OPs not saying that though, she's not complaining about the one night stand, she's complaining that her friend did it in HER bed, in the room OP had paid for, and planned to have a romantic break with her DP in, and which friend had insisted on sharing. Friend appears to have no idea of boundaries at all yet claims they can't room share with someone else?

usualsuspect333 · 25/04/2015 11:22

4 hours of oral? I hope the room had a telly in.

DontWorryBeHappyNow · 25/04/2015 11:23

...and now that I've read all 4 pages, arf at the lick on the door too Grin

This thread is hilarious. Hat off to OP, even if it is a spotty teenage boy!

PHANTOMnamechanger · 25/04/2015 11:27

I wouldn't want someone in the room with me and dp while we shagging.

I beleive most people wouldn't!
But OP and her DP had kept to separate beds to accommodate strange friend, and sneaked off for a quickie in the room THEY were entitled to use, having paid for it. Even then they refrained from using the bed out of courtesy because OPs female friend would need to sleep in it afterwards.

So called friend then thinks it is OK to bring a total stranger into OPs bed, and hog the shared room, that she has paid nowt towards, for several hours.

Trills · 25/04/2015 11:27

OP and partner did not "dirty" the bed that OP and friend were using, and were much quicker than 4 hours.

So I can see the argument there.

But really they just got into a very silly situation and should have known it would go badly.

TenerifeSea · 25/04/2015 11:28

Of course this happened.....!

Fairenuff · 25/04/2015 11:29

Why would they need to go the bedroom for a private chat anyway? I think when friend told you that OP, she was telling you they were off for a bit of nookie.

PlanningMyFuture · 25/04/2015 11:29

YANBU - she should have taken her lipstick with her.

pictish · 25/04/2015 11:32

I hope the room had a telly in. Grin

This is a wind up but the responses are funny. Brilliant thread.

The only similar sort of situation I can think of that I've been involved in, is when my friend brought a bloke back from our night out, to our shared room. I'd gone back after the club ended while she'd stayed out for the after party. I woke up to them trying to muffle their groans and giggling while they screwed literally three feet away from me.
To make matters worse he was a bloke I'd known since primary school, so it was a familiarity waaaay too far for me.
I lay there furious willing it to be over, and when he disappeared to the shop in the morning for fags, I woke her up and gave her merry hell.

Blick!

pictish · 25/04/2015 11:34

P.s We were all about 20 at the time. This was not a recent event.

WilburIsSomePig · 25/04/2015 11:37

So your friend seem 'surprised and not pleased' when you told her you'd been having sex. What were you expecting a high five? Flowers?

Weirdy weirdyson.

Pippa12 · 25/04/2015 11:38

Ha! My life is so boring!

WilburIsSomePig · 25/04/2015 11:44

Pippa its threads like this make me realise that I'm actually delighted that my life is boring!

JockTamsonsBairns · 25/04/2015 11:50

Four hours of oral sex? If it took my man four hours to finish, I'd be carrying out an urgent review of my technique.

FujimotosElixir · 25/04/2015 11:51

at that point id have turfed her out and dp back in as she clearly has no problems sharing a bed with a stranger.

Fairenuff · 25/04/2015 11:54

'Surprised and not pleased' is better than 'pleased and not surprised surely Confused'

Spotifymuse · 25/04/2015 12:18

U2 allegedly standing up sexy time doesn't work either if you are both the same height. A friend told me Grin

Sallystyle · 25/04/2015 12:35

So who does it work for then?

Maybe he is meant to lift me up? I have seen that on films before and it always looked very awkward and tiring.