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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think friend should have been grateful for this free mini-break and not bring a man into our bedroom?

142 replies

GuestCat · 25/04/2015 09:49

Friend has been going through a hard time, so I paid £120 for her to join me, DP and 18 other friends on a 3-night mini break.
DP and I were looking forward to some romantic time together. Day before the trip, friend said she isn't comfortable sharing a room with anyone other than me, as she doesn't know anyone else on trip that well. Friend asked to share with me. I said she could share with me and DP. He was a bit miffed but didn't complain, and when we got there he kindly dragged a camp-bed into our room for himself, so friend could share double-bed with me. Room had no lock, so we agreed we'd use a piece of wood to jam the door if friend or DP were getting changed, and that we'd all knock.

Second night, party in full-swing, friend was downstairs chatting with other friends. DP and I decided to have a quickie in room. We jammed door and started having sex standing-up (away from bed and fully dressed). 10mins later friend starts trying to open door, I shouted 'wait we're getting changed' friend ignores this (she was quite drunk) and forced door just as DP is doing up his trousers. Friend doesn't notice anything, she's come to find her lipstick and is happily chatting away!
Next morning I explained to her we'd been having sex in corner when she burst in. She seemed surprised and not pleased. Later that eve, she said she and a male friend wanted to have a 'private chat' in bedroom, we literally thought they meant a chat, thought maybe something romantic was developing so said fine, agreed not to disturb them. 3 hours later I knocked on door, was denied access. Another hour later friend and male friend came out, when I asked her why they were so long, friend smugly informed me they'd been giving each other oral sex and cuddling naked in bed! It was a one-off, she has no plans to see him again.

I didn't say anything to her but feel really really let down by this. We kindly let her share our room, paid for her accommodation etc, yet she brought a man (someone we didn't even know) into our bedroom, got naked with him in our shared bed, and shut us out of room for 4 hours while they went down on each other! AIBU to feel shocked, disgusted and let-down?

OP posts:
ThreeQuartersEmpty · 25/04/2015 10:19

A romantic mini-break with 18 other friends?

pictish · 25/04/2015 10:20

This makes perfect sense if the OP is 18
It really does.

TheHappinessTrap · 25/04/2015 10:20

Nothing about this situation is straight forward. Awkward all around, and I wouldn't think any one of you should take the hit on your own for this. Yes it's generous to offer to take a friend on holiday - it's not generous to any of you to offer for her to share your bed while your OH sleeps on the floor - unless you're all 18 - that's different. Having said that, once you're in that situation I don't think it's ok for 2 of you to do something that bars the third from the shared space. Finally I don't think advertising that you were having sex standing up really gives you the high ground here - boundaries have been forgotten. Clearly your complaint is the urgh moment of getting into a bed that is better left un-described. That's the last step in a whole motion of missteps.

HermioneWeasley · 25/04/2015 10:20

Is anyone else imagining a teenage boy concocting various scenarios in his head and then trying them out on MN to see how plausible they are. Recording the results in a spreadsheet. "Scenario a, 3 hours of oral sex with a stranger in someone else's bed. Fail, not what women actually do"

HemanOrSheRa · 25/04/2015 10:22

anothermakesthree Grin. Your phone is channelling the spirit of Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

StrangeGlue · 25/04/2015 10:22

And then we all had a pillow fight in our bras and pants. The end.

Spotifymuse · 25/04/2015 10:22

Arf Arf ARF at a lick on the door Grin

finnbarrcar · 25/04/2015 10:23

Were babs Windsor and Syd James in the wardrobe

pictish · 25/04/2015 10:23

And no sign of the OP.

MagicMojito · 25/04/2015 10:25

Ew

MangoJuggler · 25/04/2015 10:25

Hurhurhur at this thread, you lot are well funny

chocolatelife · 25/04/2015 10:26

fail on the story writing here,
take it somewhere else op

lordsandladies · 25/04/2015 10:26

Classy

chocolatelife · 25/04/2015 10:26

Grin hermione

CaspianSea · 25/04/2015 10:27

I think OP was generous to pay for friend to join them but should have clarified before booking that friend would need to find somebody to share with. It's U the friend expected to share with OP, and apparently expected OP's boyfriend to share with someone else. Friend sounds jealous TBH.

I also don't think it was that
U that OP and DP had sex in their room when friend was downstairs. It was their room after all, they'd paid for it, and DP wasn't a guest in his own room. Friend should have been more discreet and expected they might want a bit of privacy as a couple. Bringing a stranger into room was wrong on every level, even if they'd kept their clothes on!

Sounds as if friend was making a point by bringing a guy into bed. I think she was U and very rude, considering trip was a favour.

Spotifymuse · 25/04/2015 10:33

But CaspianSea OP had sexy time standing up so in theory didn't actually need to use the room. She could just have used a broom cupboard. Anything with a floor really. No bed required.

SavoyCabbage · 25/04/2015 10:33

Yabu, you should have provided a laminated set of tit-for-tat sex rules.

10 minutes of standing up fully dressed sex = 26 minutes or oral sex hanging off the chandelier

Mrsstarlord · 25/04/2015 10:57

Hermione - yes!

kali110 · 25/04/2015 10:58

Sounds like friend did it as revenge

HemanOrSheRa · 25/04/2015 10:59

Wait. Wait! I know this place....it's Fawlty Towers!

CaspianSea · 25/04/2015 11:03

I assumed the standing up was just to protect the bed lol!

Maybe OP was trying to hint to friend it wasn't appropriate to share with them? Why would friend want to share with a couple anyway unless she is very young/naive and didn't realise couple might want time alone.

I agree it's icky to have sex in a room you're sharing with another person, but in this situation friend had gate-crashed the couple's privacy anyway by refusing to share with anyone else.

QueenBean · 25/04/2015 11:04

I love threads like this

Totally fucking bonkers

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/04/2015 11:07

Yabu. It's not only you entitled to have a shag, love.

3luckystars · 25/04/2015 11:08

Well at least you wont get pregnant anyway if you did it standing up.

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 11:09

I think OP is pregnant already....