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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think friend should have been grateful for this free mini-break and not bring a man into our bedroom?

142 replies

GuestCat · 25/04/2015 09:49

Friend has been going through a hard time, so I paid £120 for her to join me, DP and 18 other friends on a 3-night mini break.
DP and I were looking forward to some romantic time together. Day before the trip, friend said she isn't comfortable sharing a room with anyone other than me, as she doesn't know anyone else on trip that well. Friend asked to share with me. I said she could share with me and DP. He was a bit miffed but didn't complain, and when we got there he kindly dragged a camp-bed into our room for himself, so friend could share double-bed with me. Room had no lock, so we agreed we'd use a piece of wood to jam the door if friend or DP were getting changed, and that we'd all knock.

Second night, party in full-swing, friend was downstairs chatting with other friends. DP and I decided to have a quickie in room. We jammed door and started having sex standing-up (away from bed and fully dressed). 10mins later friend starts trying to open door, I shouted 'wait we're getting changed' friend ignores this (she was quite drunk) and forced door just as DP is doing up his trousers. Friend doesn't notice anything, she's come to find her lipstick and is happily chatting away!
Next morning I explained to her we'd been having sex in corner when she burst in. She seemed surprised and not pleased. Later that eve, she said she and a male friend wanted to have a 'private chat' in bedroom, we literally thought they meant a chat, thought maybe something romantic was developing so said fine, agreed not to disturb them. 3 hours later I knocked on door, was denied access. Another hour later friend and male friend came out, when I asked her why they were so long, friend smugly informed me they'd been giving each other oral sex and cuddling naked in bed! It was a one-off, she has no plans to see him again.

I didn't say anything to her but feel really really let down by this. We kindly let her share our room, paid for her accommodation etc, yet she brought a man (someone we didn't even know) into our bedroom, got naked with him in our shared bed, and shut us out of room for 4 hours while they went down on each other! AIBU to feel shocked, disgusted and let-down?

OP posts:
Jackieharris · 25/04/2015 09:53

So you and DP are allowed to have sex in the shared room but she isn't?

Unfair imo.

HermioneWeasley · 25/04/2015 09:53

Wow, you people need waaaaay more boundaries. And your DH is a saint for letting her share your room.

Doggygirl · 25/04/2015 09:53

I think, quite simply, you should not have agreed to let her share the room.

LumpenproletariatAndFearful · 25/04/2015 09:54

If it was my friend, I'd feel a bit yuck that she gave some bloke a blow job in the bed I sleep in and ask her to get some clean sheets for the bed.

Then, I'd buy her a glass of wine and cheers her for the success in pulling.

Sounds like fun all round if you ask me.

HermioneWeasley · 25/04/2015 09:54

Jackie - If I've read OP correctly, the friend was having sex in OP's bed (yuck) and locked her out of her room for 4 hours. Hardly the same

LapsedTwentysomething · 25/04/2015 09:54

Way, way tmi.

judypoovey26 · 25/04/2015 09:55

Wow. Is this an episode of Shameless?

my2centsis · 25/04/2015 09:55

Sorry I think YABU

mrsdavidbowie · 25/04/2015 09:55

Why on earth did you share a room with her? Is she always so needy?
This is one of the most bizarre threads I've seen.

NeedABumChange · 25/04/2015 09:57

I think she sounds like a user and someone perfectly able to share a room with a stranger.

And eww, who gets naked with a bloke in a bed they know their friend has to sleep in.

base9 · 25/04/2015 09:58

You are all unreasonable. And lack pretty basic boundaries.

Spotifymuse · 25/04/2015 09:58

Why didn't you just have a threesome ? Or foursome ?

VanitasVanitatum · 25/04/2015 09:58

Grim, that is all.

No way would I have agreed to share the room, but I guess once you did agree then unless you'd said 'no guests' then you can't really have a go seeing as you and dh did something similar (no not as bad but enough to call you a hypocrite if you complain).

balls2DWall · 25/04/2015 09:59

why hasnt anyone asked where the piece of wood came from?! do ye pack one with ye to baracade yerselves in closets for quickies?!

mrsdavidbowie · 25/04/2015 09:59

Lol @ spotify

balls2DWall · 25/04/2015 10:00

so technically because ye shagged standing up she should have had oral on the floor ... is that the issue?!

HermioneWeasley · 25/04/2015 10:01

Hmm, good point balls

Gingerandcocoa · 25/04/2015 10:02

Your fault for inviting her to share a room with you and your DP.

Jengnr · 25/04/2015 10:02

You shared a room. You had sex in it so did she.

The weird part is you sharing in the first place.

balls2DWall · 25/04/2015 10:03

n just because your DP lasted ten mins and her lad lasted 3 hours really isnt her fault Grin

Ocho · 25/04/2015 10:03

this is so weird

CrispyFern · 25/04/2015 10:04

Your sign that she was weird was when she asked to share a room with you and your DP. That's weird.

Hakluyt · 25/04/2015 10:04

And why do you need to jam a piece of wood in the door when people are changing? What's wrong with a) the bathroom or b) knocking?

notanotherbabyshower · 25/04/2015 10:04

Yabu, I agree you need more boundaries, I found it weird from the point you said friend wanted to share your room...the rest of it is just bonkers and tmi.

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 10:04

WTAF