Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

party invite - sorry!

228 replies

dinodino27 · 23/04/2015 22:36

I know this one has been done many times before BUT my daughter has not been invited to a party and i cant quite believe how upset I am.

My lovely bubbly 5 year old talks frequently about her good friend XXX. Tonight the girls in her year one class trotted out of school with invitations to XXX's party. DD then came out with no invitation in hand.

I just feel devastated for DD. She was so brave but aware and clearly confused by the lack of invitation

i really want to say to mum something like 'DD's invite seems to have been lost but she would love to come; or just simple 'is XXX doing anything for her birthday?'

I would never have thought i would be the type to get involved in playground politics but I am so upset for my little girl.

OP posts:
VelvetRose · 24/04/2015 18:27

Nobody has said it wasn't a big deal (i said it wasn't a big deal if several others weren't invited too.). People are responding to your very confrontational posts, telling us how you gave the other parent a mouthful and then ranting anytime someone disagrees with you. It seems to me like a case of you can say what you like but nobody else can.

Some people don't agree with your response and they have said so.

VelvetRose · 24/04/2015 18:28

You come across as extremely aggressive in your posts and yet you call everyone else "keyboard warriors"!

Floggingmolly · 24/04/2015 18:31

If you're hearing the same thing from different sources, lighthouse, it's not necessarily because people are being "parrots", you know?

ConfusedInBath · 24/04/2015 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntyMag10 · 24/04/2015 18:36

Ilive you totally are unaware how you are coming across. And yes you are extremely aggressive.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 24/04/2015 18:37

Velvet read my last post. She wasn't one of a few left out. She was the only one.

ConfusedInBath · 24/04/2015 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

momtothree · 24/04/2015 18:44

I think u are aiming your aggression at the wrong people. No one is bullying u - that are not the ones who excluded your daughter. Personally if u were a mom in. DC class I wouldnt want u at a party, regardless how lovely your DD might be. U need to think about looking at whats wrong and fix it - no one can function on that level of hate 11 years on. Its a kids party.

VelvetRose · 24/04/2015 18:49

Yes I know that! I said in my earlier post I had said it wasn't a big deal if others were left out too (which may or may not be the case for Op). I was talking about her in my earlier post. I know that wasn't the case for your dd.

laughingcow13 · 24/04/2015 18:50

have you got a
mutual friend who could discretely bring it up. I would want to know if I had over looked someone

TinklyLittleLaugh · 24/04/2015 18:56

MyDS(8) was not invited to his best friend's party. She invited another little boy, (who they don't play with) because, in the words of best friend, "She wants to be friends with his Mum". Hmm So a snub for DS and me then.

DS was very sad, but we had a bit of a chat about friend's Mum being a loony tune and who we should invite to DS's party. We decided to invite all the boys "because we are nice".

The ironic thing is, the woman crazy Mum wants to be friends with obviously wants to be friends with me, (hangs around a bit annoyingly). Crazy Mum is welcome to her. I cannot be doing with playground politics.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 24/04/2015 18:56

I'm not particularly bothered that the mother didn't like me. Oh hang on boo hoova clique cunt doesnt like me erm sorry. Ain't happening.
It's one thing to not like me but to bully s child is another thing entierly. I was bullied horribly bullied. To point where I almost took an over dose. So you can understand I am an over protective mum. However if I did see those bullies I would thank them. They've made me who I am.
Strong independent and taking no crap from anyone. Like I said I don't give it out so I won't take it back
Oh and why am a troll because I dare to argue back. Are you suggesting I sit back and nod my head. Again not happening. As I said earlier don't ask questions because you may not like the answer. Any way I told you before take the last word.

ConfusedInBath · 24/04/2015 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbarianMum · 24/04/2015 19:04

Charlotte I'm horrified amazed that your school allows a member of staff to collude in the exclusion of 1 pupil from a year-wide party! I understand that you didn't want to but at my school that wouldn't be condoned and the invitations would have been handed back to the mum in question with the suggestion that she shoves it distributes them off site.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 24/04/2015 19:09

No I don't confused the way I am is not my child's fault.
Oh and funnily enough I wouldn't accept an invite to your party and what do you mean. The way I am. You're acting like you've known me 30 years. You know nothing about me.

MrsHathaway · 24/04/2015 19:11

ILive - it seems pretty clear to a neutral observer that people are not criticising your being upset that your daughter was excluded, at the time. They are questioning your white-hot fury over a decade later.

ConfusedInBath · 24/04/2015 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tywinlannister · 24/04/2015 19:12

TBH given the way you have expressed yourself on this thread ILive, I would be afraid to invite your DD to a party because I would not be happy about spending 2 hours in your company. You have come across as very volatile.

momtothree · 24/04/2015 19:12

We know you are aggressive, we know UABU about a party 11 years ago, we know you boo hoo, swear and generally believe everyone else is a bully unless u or DD get their own way. I dont need to know any more - mind made up

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 24/04/2015 19:20

Right I"ll have a go at being nice. Yes you can all laugh at me but you could walk past me in the street. You would not know me.
Tyw. I do appreciate I have not come over as very nice but I can guarantee I am not as vile as I make out.
The reason I am upset is almost everyone on here saying I am wrong for arguing back and making out I am some sort of monster.
Like I said this is not aibu. This is not my thread.

unlucky83 · 24/04/2015 19:21

Ignoring bun fight - my DDs tended to have big parties - but I always invite say the whole class or all the girls...cos I don't think it is fair that one or two aren't invited. I think if it is just a small party of 5-6 that's a bit different (unless there are only 7 in the class...)
Having said that my DD1 struggled to make friends (was new to the group) and I was always upset (and she felt it too) to hear that someone had had a small party and she hadn't been invited....
Anyway as a host if I haven't had a reply at all (up to age 9 -10) I will phone the parent -cos invites do get forgotten/go astray.
A couple of years ago my other DD didn't get invited to a party that I would have expected her to ...I actually didn't know about the party until months later when the mum mentioned something about the venue to me. I was hmmm - would you not invite a child and then talk about the venue to the mum? I don't think I would. But then maybe she was just not thinking? I always wondered if that was an invite that had gone astray - and she thought I was rude for not letting her know DD wasn't going Blush
It is an absolute minefield

But I agree you can't really speak to the mum ...I like a PP's idea of getting someone else to ask (as in was going to lift share with your DD -is she going?)...

I've currently got a quandary of my own ...invited a very new girl to DDs all the girls party - didn't get a reply and didn't have a contact no. During the party the parent rang me to say sorry had just found the invite etc...it would have been good for her to go etc.
A few months on and two weeks ago the mum rang me and gave me her DDs party details as a reciprocal invite - but didn't seem to be doing 'all the girls' (and I wouldn't have expect my DD to be invited in that case as they don't really play together). I said I had to double check but pretty sure my DD would be able to go, she told me my DD would get an invite this week - invites have been handed out - DD didn't get one...
So does the party girl not want DD to go? Has the mum changed her mind? Do we just turn up? Been asking DD all week to check with the girl but she hasn't - she thinks I should phone party girl's mum - I don't think I can Confused... I think we are just going to go.
(And according to DD there was one other girl that hadn't been invited - she has been now thankfully! She is also newish and suspect she wasn't on the contact list the parent got Sad)

Cocolepew · 24/04/2015 19:21

Christ on a bike, you sound bonkers.

ConfusedInBath · 24/04/2015 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 24/04/2015 19:30

Ilive, your posts are bing commented on because it's very very unusual for a parent of s child who has been left out of a party to make sure a big deal out of it, and especially to still be so angry 11 years later.
You've explained you're overprotective because you were bullied which puts it in context and so helps to understand, but you must understand that you are not unusual in adoring your child, or wanting to protect her. That is normal.
But it sounds like you have taught her to take these things to heart and get really upset and then give people a piece of your mind, and I think a lot of posters are saying that perhaps that is not the healthiest approach, for either of you.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 24/04/2015 19:38

Well confused I did well not in so msny words try to apologise for upsetting people. I ain't crawling up people's backsides.
my feelings still stand am I not allowed to protect my child and speak up for her!
I don't get why there is a witch hunt against a mum being upset. And no not about the party. If I hAvd to say that again. I will scream. About my treatment on here. Yes I fully accept I've not acted like the arch angel Gabriel far from it,
So I am prepared to say lets be adult about it and just agree to disagree because I am never going to say. That mother was right to call me child and exclude her, and you're not going to say well not just you okay you acted like a crank but we understand why you were and take heed of the word "were" not are upset.