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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at my friend using my wifi to update her mobile without my consent?

183 replies

LoveSchoolHolidays · 23/04/2015 08:08

I have put 2 & 2 together and could be wrong, but a few things have happened recently to make me think my friend is using my wifi whenever she visits my house.

Ages ago I gave her my wifi password so she could use my internet on her mobile phone, I can't remember what she wanted to do at that time. In February we changed provider, didn't tell my friend, didn't even think about it. Then she got a massive phone bill and asked me if I'd changed my password, she didn't connect the two but when I told her to dispute the bill as I presumed it was a mistake, she made a load of excuses why not and that is when I put the two together. I believe that she has been updating the software on her phone when she visits me and so was being charged by her provider when she thought she was using my wifi for free. I did give her my new password before I got suspicious but now I watch her when she visits and she is on her phone more than my other friends, which I think is rude anyway.

Yesterday I had to leave in a hurry and as I was practically pushing her out the door, she stopped on my doorstep and started fiddling with her phone, when I told her she needed to hurry up as I was in a massive rush she made an excuse about a text message. Surely a text message could have been dealt with after she had left and I was on my way. That really annoyed me, I think she was downloading something and had to stop it before she left.

I might be paranoid and come across as a weirdo but I feel she is using me, she doesn't have Internet at home and I do let her visit me with her laptop occasionally when she needs to use the Internet which I dont mind, I just want to be asked, I don't know what she is downloading and on a basic level it is theft.

I'm thinking of changing my password and not telling her, is that just petty?

WWYD?

OP posts:
ovumahead · 23/04/2015 16:09

OP please let us know IS YOUR WIFI DATA CAPPED? Please put us all out of our misery!

Also what the hell is your rather odd sounding friend downloading?! Sounds like a lot of intense, important, but downloads especially if it cost her so much when she apparently thought she was not using her own mobile allowance. Sounds intriguing! And dodgy.

ovumahead · 23/04/2015 16:10

Big downloads, not but downloads... Although there may be a lot of butts in there if it's porn she's downloading!

diddl · 23/04/2015 16:16

Well, I'm happy to not be on a phone when I visit friends & they seem to be also.

If that's old fashioned, fine by me!

Was out with niece recently, she had her phone on the table next to her.

Huffing, puffing & rolling her eyes everytime it demanded her attention!

I'm thinking "just switch it off then!"

Are younguns so scared that they are going to miss something that they can't just switch off for a couple of hours whilst out for a meal?

Or maybe my niece is just rude/over dramatic?

Buglife · 23/04/2015 16:19

She didn't use the Internet without asking though, she asked for the password and you have it. You didn't give it with a list of conditions of use. So she's not stealing because you gave her the password. The matter of you disliking her being on the phone is seperate. She's not stealing.

Leo35 · 23/04/2015 16:29

I think that this is the crux of the matter: some people think that if you give your password then the friend can use wifi whenever, whereas some others think not. I'm in the latter camp. I don't think that it does confer continued usage without someone explicitly saying that it can be used each time that they visit (if wanted).

Grapejuicerocks · 23/04/2015 17:03

FOMO - Fear of missing out. A recognised teenage syndrome.

Chattymummyhere · 23/04/2015 17:15

We let our neighbours son connect to our wifi to check his emails for work. We had to change the password turns out he saved it and was running all his consoles etc off our wifi so much it was booting is off as it couldn't handle the amount off things connected.

Some people are the type that you give an inch and they take a mile.

StickEm · 23/04/2015 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NurseRoscoe · 23/04/2015 18:39

I wouldn't care less! Doesn't cost me anything extra!

ApplePaltrow · 23/04/2015 18:57

OP seems like a shitty friend. If her friend has no option for wifi, then why begrudge her something that is free to you! The OP wants her friend to beg and scrape in order to update some apps on her phone! Access to Internet is critical and can be expensive. Her friend is probably embarrassed about it. I would never begrudge someone using my wifi like this. Especially a friend I claim to like.

I would TELL her to update her phone and stuff at my house! I'd be generous and kind in the hope that karma didn't bite me on the arse in my time of need. Sometimes kindness means not making such a big fucking deal about everything.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 23/04/2015 19:04

Thanks for the larfs OP Grin

Wifi theft? Whatever will the grabby cow steal from you next Hmm

Fairy13 · 23/04/2015 19:16

Good god, life must be exhausting for you.

Hulababy · 23/04/2015 19:31

I wouldn't think twice about a friend using my wifi, when I've given them the password, unless they were sat glued to their phone not chatting and socialising with me and were only at my house just for the wifi.

Like many our broadband is unlimited so there is no additional cost.

The 'what they're downloading
' isn't a concern - I trust my friends not to be doing something dodgy Via my wifi. It's not like they're a random stranger.

And like most people my phone only needs the password once and automatically connects. Everyone of my friends phones do the same.
I don't expect them to ask permission to use their phone when they come over (even though if they're online it will be my wifi) and nor do I think to ask for permission each time I'm at a friends house.

Obviously if u think your friend is only coming over to use your wifi and not actually to see you its a different issue altogether.

Hulababy · 23/04/2015 19:43

Whilst me and my friends do visit to socialise we do use phones as part of that - we might be looking at photos, researching something (maybe a holiday, something one of us is considering buying) a link to something in the news, etc. It is rarely to do something sly or instead of communicating, its in addition to or to enhance it further. And it's not constant - just if something arises.

Effendi · 23/04/2015 19:51

Arf at WiFi theft. Whatever next?

Droflove · 23/04/2015 19:54

Ah come on OP. Don't be so tight. Its Wi-Fi, its not like she is stealing toilet rolls out of your cupboard. I guess she didn't ask properly as she felt you would be weird about it even though its totally normal to use wifi in friends houses. Its the first thing I tell anyone when they arrive to visit!

Hissy · 23/04/2015 20:20

I'd switch off the wifi whenever she came around and say "took a leaf out of your book, no internet, no monthly bills, it's GREAT!" Then I'd see if her visits dwindled ...

It's not the use, it's the USING....

UncleT · 23/04/2015 20:35

I bet she uses the loo free of charge too, having been let in the house. The cheek of the woman.

Fucking 'theft'..... Heard it all now.

scarletforya · 23/04/2015 20:45

Do you squeak when you walk OP!?

sarahsnail · 23/04/2015 21:05

And you call her a "Friend" gosh I would hate to be your enemy. I find it all pretty pathetic. Everyone who visits my house has my wifi password, far cheaper and quicker than using their mobile data.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 24/04/2015 07:23

It's not the use, it's the USING

Agree with this (I'm so in the minority on this though).

Fluffycloudland77 · 24/04/2015 07:47

Exactly, no one minds people using the wifi it's the coming around just to use the wifi.

Mil's pad connects to mine automatically and vice versa but we do actually want to see each other.

MokunMokun · 24/04/2015 07:51

I agree it's not the use it's the using. Whether it's free or not is not the point.

Really the friend needs to sort her own internet out at home if she's using it that much. It's ok to use a friends short term but not as a long term thing.

maliaki · 24/04/2015 09:04

Do you think she's coming around just for WiFi or to see you? Easy way to gauge is have her over for tea, turn off the box and tell her the routers misbehaving, if she runs off before you've finished your tea then you know it's the WiFi if not then she just sees it as a perk.

Your friend needs a 3 phone, all you can eat data, some have cheap contracts.

reni1 · 24/04/2015 10:02

Maliaki's idea is really good.

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