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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at my friend using my wifi to update her mobile without my consent?

183 replies

LoveSchoolHolidays · 23/04/2015 08:08

I have put 2 & 2 together and could be wrong, but a few things have happened recently to make me think my friend is using my wifi whenever she visits my house.

Ages ago I gave her my wifi password so she could use my internet on her mobile phone, I can't remember what she wanted to do at that time. In February we changed provider, didn't tell my friend, didn't even think about it. Then she got a massive phone bill and asked me if I'd changed my password, she didn't connect the two but when I told her to dispute the bill as I presumed it was a mistake, she made a load of excuses why not and that is when I put the two together. I believe that she has been updating the software on her phone when she visits me and so was being charged by her provider when she thought she was using my wifi for free. I did give her my new password before I got suspicious but now I watch her when she visits and she is on her phone more than my other friends, which I think is rude anyway.

Yesterday I had to leave in a hurry and as I was practically pushing her out the door, she stopped on my doorstep and started fiddling with her phone, when I told her she needed to hurry up as I was in a massive rush she made an excuse about a text message. Surely a text message could have been dealt with after she had left and I was on my way. That really annoyed me, I think she was downloading something and had to stop it before she left.

I might be paranoid and come across as a weirdo but I feel she is using me, she doesn't have Internet at home and I do let her visit me with her laptop occasionally when she needs to use the Internet which I dont mind, I just want to be asked, I don't know what she is downloading and on a basic level it is theft.

I'm thinking of changing my password and not telling her, is that just petty?

WWYD?

OP posts:

Rinkydinkypink · 23/04/2015 08:17

Sorry op buts like wanting to charge her for water or fresh air.

shewept · 23/04/2015 08:17

If you gave her your password, you have given her use of it. Unless you said this time only, yabu.

The only time I would say yanbu is if she is incurring you costs. Its not theft. Especially since you gave her the password and if it isn't costing you anything then I can't see why you are objecting.

Original poster

LoveSchoolHolidays · 23/04/2015 08:18

I am worried that I am being ridiculous, so thank you all for grounding me. I would never say no if she wanted to charge her phone. What is getting my back up is her presumption, if she asked I would, of course, say yes.

OP posts:

VanitasVanitatum · 23/04/2015 08:18

If she's coming round deliberately to use the wifi that is a bit off, I can see why OP would find that annoying because there you are thinking someone likes your company but no, they just don't want to pay for data! She needs to get wifi at home I think..

Just change your password and pretend you've forgotten it then you'll see if she keeps coming anyway!

Bodicea · 23/04/2015 08:18

It's just wifi! What difference does it make? I use wifi at my. Friends houses. They use it at mine. If my friend hasn't got it all the more reason to let her use it. You sound a bit stingy.

Catsize · 23/04/2015 08:18

Would you ever buy your friend a drink, or is that theft too?

TwinkieTwinkle · 23/04/2015 08:20

This has brightened my morning!

Bunbaker · 23/04/2015 08:20

"Doesn't it cost? I thought it did."

It depends on the package. We have unlimited downloads on our broadband package at home, but MIL has a limit, which DD always goes over when we visit as she watches a lot of You Tube videos. (We pay the bill BTW)

TheTravellingLemon · 23/04/2015 08:21

Why on earth would you not want her to use your wifi? YABVU. really really U. I presume if she was costing you money, you'd have mentioned it in your OP.

It's actually so bad, it's made me laugh a bit.

You gave her your password. Does she have to ask each time she comes round? I have to say it would never even occur to me to ask again.

Nake99 · 23/04/2015 08:21

I honestly wouldnt care if any of my friends were using my WiFi, because they are FRIENDs and it doesnt cost me anymore. Especially if a friend didnt have internet at home.

AuntyMag10 · 23/04/2015 08:21

Don't be a cheapskate op.

VixxFace · 23/04/2015 08:22

yabu

Turquoiseblue · 23/04/2015 08:22

We had a cap on our downloads as broadband was really poor in our area and ended up getting charged for extra and figured out it was a similar situation of dh s friend downloading stuff - was fine once we explained - issue sorted now as have unlimited bb.
However you seem like the issue is more the feeling of underhanded ness and being used by your friend. For that reason I can understand your frustrations and think some posters have been harsh on you.
I d address the friendship more than the internet usage though. If you think you need to change the wifi password so be it. Sometimes there s only so much of being taken for a mug you can put up with!

londonrach · 23/04/2015 08:23

Not thieft as you gave her the password. Just rude. Whats she doing on a mobile when shes with you. Anyway solution to this turn wifi off or change password.

Songofsixpence · 23/04/2015 08:23

Assuming her phone works the same as mine, if you've given her your password once, her phone will have saved the connection and it will automatically connect to your broadband when she comes to your house.

My wifi is free for anyone here to use, I really don't care, it costs me nothing and doesn't annoy me in the slightest

JemFinch · 23/04/2015 08:24

Totally depends if you have a capped limit or not. Ours isn't capped - couldn't give a monkeys who uses it when they come over I they ask for the password.

DarthVadersTailor · 23/04/2015 08:24

My God OP you sound like a right barrel of laughs. Charge for a cuppa at yours? Use of the loo? No? Then why be upset that someone wants to use your Internet??

If a guest wants the net they can have it. In fact usually I point them towards to router if they've never been to my place before, it's just like offering a guest a drink in my eyes. Hardly 'theft' of the century

Nake99 · 23/04/2015 08:24

Usually once youve put in the password once your phone automatically connects to that network once you are near it. So if she asked for the password the first time you are in fact agreeing to her using every time shes round.

Azquilith · 23/04/2015 08:26

But you gave her the password? Twice? So she did ask and you said yes and then you want her to ask again each time?

oranginanana · 23/04/2015 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannaBe · 23/04/2015 08:26

you do realise op that if you've given her the password once her phone most likely connects to the wifi automatically as soon as she enters your house anyway?

I generally give people the password to my wifi if they come round here as A, my phone signal round here is shit, and B, wifi doesn't cost them, data does, plus wifi is faster, and besides isn't that just what you do?

It wouldn't occur to me to think someone should ask if they can use the wifi again having been given the password once. and talk of it being theft is

PtolemysNeedle · 23/04/2015 08:27

I don't think YABU. Your frind is rude and dishonest, because she isn't being truthful about what she's doing. It's the fact that she hasn't asked or even made you aware of what she's doing that's the problem. It shows a bad attitude and it's disrespectful, this friend thinks she can take what she wants without saying anything, and has probably made excuses to visit when she's not bothered about seeing you but she needs to do something on her phone. That's horrible behaviour, and I'd be really pissed off at being treated like that.

seaoflove · 23/04/2015 08:29

Agree with Ptolemy.

Bilberry · 23/04/2015 08:29

If you have a data cap then YANBU. If no data cap the I also think YANBU. It might not be costing you anything but I can see why you are feeling used; everyone would like to think a friend is visiting to see them not to make use of their facilities, whether they are free or not. How would you feel about it being an open, honest arrangement? I wouldn't mind about the wifi but would wonder whether I was really as much a friend as I thought I was.

prepperpig · 23/04/2015 08:30

If you're on an unlimited package then with certain providers you're probably a potential hotspot for others anyway. Someone could park outside and use your wifi.

But YANBU if you're on a limited package.

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