Co-sleeping. Why?

[goodnessgraciousgouda]

Just to stress first off that this is not a thread to start a bun fight between people who do and don't co-sleep. It's not intended as a spiteful judgement of people who DO co-sleep.

It's just to try and understand why some people do it, as it's something that I literally cannot fathom.

I can understand co-sleeping for the first six months, as is recommended to prevent SID. I can understand people going a bit longer than that just to be on the safe side.

But why do some people co-sleep for YEARS on end? Is it when the child is a really bad sleeper generally? Or when there are underlying medical conditions?

Co-sleeping for long periods of time has always struck me as something which would completely override the relationship between the two parents. Which is why I'd be interested to know people's actual reasons for doing it (I'm not saying I'm right, it's just how I've always seen it).

I have tried looking at websites, but they have been so....unbearable. Almost like satire websites. I was hoping some people here might be able to explain it in less "hemp and kale" sort of terms.

Hak - some people have the stereotypes of genders so firmly entrenched in their minds they cannot comprehend any different. Or they are in a relationship where they have normalised being constantly available for sex or where sex is required very often for them to get on as a couple (not knocking sex btw, it's great, but i do think it's sad that if sex was off the table for a short while a relationship would suffer).

Not referring to any posts on this thread, but the comments i have had in real life about co-sleeping. The gasps of 'but what if your DH wants sex?' With no concession to whether I want sex, or my needs and no ability to comprehend that my DH loves the co-sleeping as much as i do (if not more, because he works long hours and doesn't get as much time with the boys as i do. i often hear him creep in to bed at 1am, engulf us all in his arms and let out a deeply satisfied sigh).

We got a kingsize lepetitpont, although ds isn't in with us all night now, and doesn't come in every night. But if he creeps in at 4 or five he gets in on DH's side with him while I have the baby on my side with me. Now baby is more of a toddler he gets in alongside her and has a cuddle up to her!

We have plenty of room, though we sometimes need to scoot a child over into the huge gap they've left over one side.

My husband enjoyed co-sleeping too. I used to go out to work early and leave them snuggled up or playing 'Bed Wars' - it always made me a bit

My husband loves co sleeping too and ours are much older. Our youngest 9 seems I have developed a fear of the dark though I think he just loves having somone near him. Mostly it's me as husband works away a lot and sometimes it the husband as he loves his dad there as he doesn't always get the chance.

Husband is home tonight after 2 weeks away and I'm sure he'll be sharing a bed with our youngest rather than me!

And we have a super kingsize - more than enough room for everyone. When we move house (quite often) - it has to have room for the bed - no compromise there.

YANBU, I wonder the same. When my sister's kids were younger I used to have to share a bed with them during my visits and would be sleeping on the edge of the bed, getting elbowed in the face, kicked in the back and punched in the mouth all night by flailing arms and legs. I often woke up to see that the child was laying horizontally across the bed in between us.

My sister did this for almost 9 years. She must really hate sleep.

But I do not agree with your statement that cosleeping is though to prevent SIDS. There is evidence in both directions on that, and I personally would never, ever do it. I wouldn't get a wink of sleep knowing that I might smother my baby or that she might overheat from my body heat. I also don't want to kick my DH out of bed and I cannot see how two adults and a newborn could safely bedshare.

How is smothering a baby anything to do with SIDS?

Cosleeping with a child helps them to regulate temperature and heart rate, which is thought to reduce the risk of SIDS. Being able to hear you breathe and your heart rate is soothing to newborn babies - they've been listening to it for 9 months. ;)

That should say "cosleeping with a newborn"

I woke up this morning, curled around my baby DD. I cosleep with her because I love it, and she loves it. She will be an independent 2 year old all too soon.

Why co sleep?

Because we are lazy, and love sleep!
Because being snuggled up together is lovely.
Because there are plenty of other places for me and DP to shag other than bed.

What GruffaloStance said.

DS (8 months) is my last DC, and I am making the most of every minute of his gorgeous, sleepy, cuddly, perfect babyhood.

Absolutely, Disappointed - agree with all your points.

www.huffpost.com/us/entry/7119782

Because it meant I could get an unbroken night's sleep.

My two start off in their own beds but always end up in ours. They're both under 2. I'd love to have our bed back to ourselves but in the middle of the night it just seems easier to let them stay. I'm too lazy!

Disappointed - that gives a 404 error, what is it meant to be?

An article. Let me try again. :)

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7119782

I had no plans either way with the DCs; DS1 is 9 now and illnesses aside doesn't come into our bed at night. He was always happy in his own bedroom at night, so we never thought about it. DS2 came along and was equipped in the art of sleepless-night-torture. He ended up in with us because it was the only way we'd have stayed sane.

He's 4 now and still gets into our bed in the middle of the night a couple of times a week. It's one of those things that doesn't bother me enough to change. It doesn't seem to override the relationship between DH and I, nor interfere with our sex life. I daresay he'll give up eventually.

Interesting. Thanks :)

I used to co-sleep with DS2 (now 10 months) all the time - it was just easier, and I found I could bf while still asleep most of the time ;-). But now he's bigger I've found if I keep him in my bed he thinks it's playtime in the middle of the night, and kicks and wriggles to kingdom come. He stays in his own bed now most of the time, because he sleeps much better there. DS1 (2 1/2) still comes in sometimes, because it's easier than having a fight in the middle of the night, but I wish he wouldn't - he's ever so sweet to cuddle but a terrible wriggler too.

Disappointed- I've never seen any advice which doesn't state that newborn babies are safest in their own bed in your room.

Breastfeeding, returning to work at six months to a job where alertness is paramount and to be honest we just enjoyed the closeness. DS is a fantastic sleeper and even at 10 occasionally co sleeps when we have visitors. He loves it although at nearly 5ft it can get a little crowded even in our massive bed.
We did try to kick him out at about 3yrs but he couldn't understand why we got to sleep together but he had to sleep on his own. He did start off in his own bed but became a ninja bed invader. It was incredible how he managed to creep in without waking us.
I think, as said by others, you both have to be happy with the arrangement and have a large bed. As a young child I shared a room, and out of choice often a bed with my sisters, so was never alone at night, despite there being enough rooms for us to have our own. I'm still comfortable sharing a bed with my sister. I suppose it is the norm for us.