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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't open your neighbour's door to call out to them?

80 replies

ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 15:29

Bloody neighbour. Has boundary issues. I do like her but she is hard work sometimes.

I was just telling my Dd off (she was spreading peanut butter on the counter top) when my neighbour pushed open my front door wide...(kitchen is very close to front door) and stuck her head in and started to ask me a question.

I'm afraid I snapped "Can we close the door please!!" ...she did...and said "Sorry>" as she did it.

But really?? Would you do this? We are on friendly terms and if my door was wide open then fine...come to the entrance and call through. But it was SHUT! Not on the latch but SHUT!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 19/04/2015 15:33

No, that's not on. You would at least tap the door maybe and wait. You need to keep it locked possibly.

I do have a neighbour where I am allowed to just stroll into their kitchen through the side door, but I still knock before opening and do the 'coo-ee only me' thing. Grin

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 15:40

I usually do keep it locked but the DC are in and out of the garden today as is DH and it was becoming an irritant having to keep letting them in.

I would only ever walk into or open the door of a family member's home and even then only if they'd told me I could.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 19/04/2015 15:42

Has she been back? Did you find out what she wanted, was it a riveting question?

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 15:43

No. I'm pretty sure she was asking if DD was going back outside as her DD was looking for her or wanted to play or something. I mean really! My DD is 7 and in and out every 20 minutes anyway!

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 19/04/2015 15:44

Not if you don't have that type of relationship.

But I would for a neighbour up the road if I knocked and no response as she's got health issues and been known to slip into diabetic comas. I worry about her. But I wouldn't for the other neighbours.

BallsforEarrings · 19/04/2015 15:44

Goodness me! What if you and dh were DTD?? Shock

Appalling manners! Your home is not a public library!

ThingummyJigg · 19/04/2015 15:45

I would shove a note through her door, asking her to knock and go away if there's no reply.

Very rude to just open your door and start talking. Tell her you live in your own house, not on a fucking commune and can she please respect your personal space.

You shouldn't have to inconvenience yourselves because your neighbour can't keep her beak out of your home.

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 15:48

Balls exactly! Or if I was scratching my arse in the privacy of my home!? SO rude.

OP posts:
lucycant · 19/04/2015 15:48

Is this in the countryside? Otherwise YANBU

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 15:49

Lucy no it's suburbia. And I fail to see why rural living allows such rudeness? It doesn't!

OP posts:
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 19/04/2015 15:49

I am very friendly with my neighbour, but I always knock and vice versa.

We even had a gate put up out the back garden to enable us to have drinks while DC are in bed. I can hear them out side. Also so the DC can play out my garden.

lucycant · 19/04/2015 15:51

ImNameyChangey - Because it is common behavior amongst some farmers in the countryside. It goes along with not locking doors and helping each other out.

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 15:57

Well it's a good job I'm not a bloody farmer. I'd hate that.

OP posts:
Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 16:01

Piper yes...it's just a line isn't it? We are friendly...can ask one another for anything and the DC play etc...we have a laugh...but that's the first time she's ever done that and I didn't like it at all! I'm sure shegot the message.

OP posts:
SomewhereIBelong · 19/04/2015 16:04

I used to live on a Scottish island - it was so much nicer, knock, enter, shout it's only me, shut door, wait by door for an acknowledgement...

or wait out in the rain knocking...

the other way round - hear a knock, they come in, shout, and shut the door,

or you drop what you are doing, go to the door to let in someone who is perfectly capable of opening a door and coming in.

Never before did I understand "an Englishman's home is his castle" before I moved down here.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 19/04/2015 16:09

If I'm expected, I do tend to knock, open the door and call 'Hi ,only me!' But maybe I shouldn't...

lertgush · 19/04/2015 16:10

My neighbour walks straight in our house. I have no problem with it.

ConfusedInBath · 19/04/2015 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 16:14

Confused what should I have said then? Considering she'd invaded my home? How would you have tackled it? And what do you mean by "spoken to her at a different time"?

You mean i should have ignored her? And then mentioned it later? Or answered her question thus allowing her to think that it's ok to do what she did?

OP posts:
Janethegirl · 19/04/2015 16:14

It's quite common in rural areas, I don't mind really as it saves me stopping what I'm doing to answer the door.
However I have only around 5 friends/ neighbours who do this.

Janethegirl · 19/04/2015 16:16

To be fair, I'm more pissed off if neighbour's dog walks in.

MyArksNotReady · 19/04/2015 16:16

Oh no, I would not do that and wouldn't like it done to me. I thunk you need to take a step back you and your dd and lock your doors.

m0therofdragons · 19/04/2015 16:19

My friends/neighbours do this. If they need to knock I lock the door otherwise anyone is welcome. I wouldn't assume others have the same rule and it's only people we know well but it's fairly common here - West Country. Just let her know that you prefer people to knock. I don't mind as I with 3 young dc it was sometimes tricky to get to the door but it's personal preference.

ConfusedInBath · 19/04/2015 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect333 · 19/04/2015 16:23

It wouldn't bother me at all.