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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't open your neighbour's door to call out to them?

80 replies

ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 15:29

Bloody neighbour. Has boundary issues. I do like her but she is hard work sometimes.

I was just telling my Dd off (she was spreading peanut butter on the counter top) when my neighbour pushed open my front door wide...(kitchen is very close to front door) and stuck her head in and started to ask me a question.

I'm afraid I snapped "Can we close the door please!!" ...she did...and said "Sorry>" as she did it.

But really?? Would you do this? We are on friendly terms and if my door was wide open then fine...come to the entrance and call through. But it was SHUT! Not on the latch but SHUT!

OP posts:
Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 16:23

Bath no....I wasn't "Caught" but I was in the middle of something...a conversation with DD...I snapped because I was taken aback by her sudden appearance in my home.

OP posts:
NellysKnickers · 19/04/2015 16:26

Friends and family knock, shout yoohoo or hello and walk in mine, but I'm lazy. If I was in a mid telling off with dc, I may be a bit but embarrassed but it wouldn't be a problem. Everyone's different though and if its made you uncomfortable then have a quiet word with her, not worth a falling out though.

Ragwort · 19/04/2015 16:28

Wouldn't bother me either, I never lock our door in the day time. I would rather risk the occasional 'intrusion' than be one of the statistics you hear about where someone has laid dead on their floor for several months because no one knew them. Sad. Some people live incredibly isolated lives.

ConfusedInBath · 19/04/2015 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Welshmaenad · 19/04/2015 16:35

I live in a very small village where people have no boundaries. Dh and I were having sex on the shower once and got out to find a neighbour in our lounge, dropping off a Christmas present.

MammaTJ · 19/04/2015 16:49

Personally I get cross when friends and neighbours do knock! They make me get off of my comfy sofa to answer and already open door.

I jokingly told a girl off last week for knocking to ask if she could get her ball from my garden! Just get it already and leave me to my sofa!

Original poster
ImNameyChangey · 19/04/2015 16:50

Bath I most certainly would have! She was very rude.

OP posts:
ConfusedInBath · 19/04/2015 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MishMooshAndMogwai · 19/04/2015 17:04

'AIBU?'

'Yes'

'No I'm not!'

I think she WBU for not shouting 'coo-eee!' Like a normal person but YWBU for snapping.

Fwiw exMIL used to do this and it annoyed the tits off me and dp (it wasn't his mum) so the door was locked constantly just in case. Then we moved 100 miles away and the door is unopenable from outside without a key. The back door is openable when unlocked but only my mum and close friends tend to use this and always shout Coo-eee.

m0therofdragons · 19/04/2015 17:07

She wasn't rude she just did something you didn't personally like -there's a difference. A number of people on here feel it's normal where they live so maybe you are the unusual one. Just a simple "now us not a good time" would have been fine but you "snapped" at her, therefore yabu and in fact you were rude rather than her.

m0therofdragons · 19/04/2015 17:08

Is not us

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 19/04/2015 17:12

One neighbour occasionally does this, if her children are here, and I'm half-expecting her to show up.

My best friend sometimes does, when she turns up, at an expected time, and I'm fine with that, but I'd find it weird if she popped round unexpectedly and just opened the door.

Otherwise, no. I wouldn't be happy about someone just walking in. Our house layout would make it strange too - there's a big hallway, and the way the rooms are placed mean that we wouldn't be able to necessarily see who had just walked in.

peggyundercrackers · 19/04/2015 17:44

Yabu - don't really see what the issue was. You were rude for shouting/snapping at her. She opened the door and shouted, it's hardly invading your house or privacy. Think you need to lighten up a bit.

ConfusedInBath · 19/04/2015 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toothlessoldhag · 19/04/2015 17:49

YWNBU! I'd have jumped out of my skin. And snapped. Where's the sense of boundaries (literally in this case).

Though for the sake of good neighbourliness you might want to pop round and apologise for snapping (do knock though Grin)

PeachyPants · 19/04/2015 17:55

YANBU, this would have pissed me off too. So what you snapped at her, she was out of order, you didn't scream "get the fuck out of my house", I don't think you need to apologise and hopefully she'll have got the message that she's overstepped a line.

Redglitter · 19/04/2015 17:57

YANBU I wouldn't dream of doing that apart from at my mums. I'd have done more than snap at one of my neighbours if they did that in my house

minionmadness · 19/04/2015 18:08

YANBU No matter how neighbourly you are you don't just let yourself into someone's house.

My sister just moved into a private road with only 4 bungalows, her neighbour did this from day one and my sister has to lock the door now. I said she should just say, "I'd rather you not just walk into my house please, it makes me feel uncomfortable"... but she's a wuss so won't Grin

Janethegirl · 19/04/2015 19:03

Our alarm system has an option to make a noise every time an outside door is opened.
It may be worth the OP getting similar as she will then get a few seconds warning Grin.
Fwiw we once locked the doors and were dtd on the kitchen table. Friend knocked on the window Blush

diddl · 19/04/2015 19:19

If she usually does this & you've never said anything then you shouldn't have snapped imo.

If you've already asked her not to then fair enough!

AnnaFiveTowns · 19/04/2015 22:59

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Jasmine2233 · 19/04/2015 23:31

That would piss me off

PeppermintCrayon · 19/04/2015 23:49

On what planet is it uptight to mind people waltzing into your house?

My friend's neighbour used to do this and we all thought she was a loon.

ShadowsShadowsEverywhere · 20/04/2015 00:03

I'd be horrified if anyone did this to me! I potter about in my underwear when I'm at home precisely because it's my home and no one else can see me. I'd have snapped too OP, I don't think you were U to be shocked and snap, I think it's a fairly standard reaction in that kind of situation!

NadiaWadia · 20/04/2015 02:32

I don't think the OP was being unreasonable to mind, I would hate it if anyone did this. You should knock, it's just common courtesy. Unless maybe it's someone you are very close to, and they know you're on the way over to see them. I would still call out in that situation though.

It does seem a lot of people are pretty laid back about it, but one problem with leaving doors unlocked and allowing people to wander in at will is that you never know if some random stranger might come in without you knowing. Not that likely (depending what sort of area you live in), but it could happen and if so and anything was taken, you do know that that would invalidate your insurance?