to think this conversation shouldn't have happened infront of DS ?

[FujimotosElixir]

Unfortunately i was late picking up ds today, quite late my bus was very late and not the kind of distance I could just sod it and walk. i rang the school in panic knowing i.was already late apologising and would get there asap. When i arrived the head teacher was understandably annoyed but said , where have you been , why are you late? ...i had explained this to the AD , and then went onto say this really was too late and it wasnt a bit late and usually they would ring Ss (!? first offence id rang?) and dont let it happen again , ds was really fed up. generally being quite provocative and rude, my issue isnt the conversation itself more the fact it happened in front of DS? im raging so unprofessional, the reason was out of my control although I understand her annoyance. i apologised several times.i wouldn't have minded a.discreet word or 'we'll speak on monday' but i did ring and it wasn't really my fault. AIBU to be annoyed the conversation was so inappropriately done in front of ds?

Bus vs car ? seriously ?

I walked to school but the thought of getting a bus and the unreliability would be awful.
I would leave at least an hour before to ensure I was at the school on time, in case the bus didn't come etc.

With a car there is usually an alternative route.

I love the way some people on this thread think (a) you should have got an earlier bus (where I live you're lucky if there's a bus at all, never mind one that is in any way suitable for getting to school at a certain time and (b) you have parent friends coming out of your ears who can collect your child for you if you are late. When my son was at infant/junior school there was nobody I could have asked other than my childminder and if she was up to her numbers that day I would have been truly stuffed. Fortunately in 7 years it never happened - my husband was maybe 10 minutes late once, and on another occasion cm was able to step in.

It is very unlikely that even on a Friday the school would close 5 minutes after pick-up time (after-school clubs? teachers finishing work? HT doing paperwork?). Certainly wasn't the case at ds' school. I could go out at 5pm and there would still be cars in the car park.

And to threaten with social services for a 40 minute delay seems quite high handed to me. Especially when you phoned.

You do need to be on time. But things happen. I used to be reliant on trains being on time so I could collect ds from nursery and childminder. It was incredibly stressful. Sometimes things just go wrong. If you are looking after kids you have to accept that.

well you would be daft to rely on buses that don't ever run wouldn't you
Pointless remark right there !

DD's school allow a half hour grace period. Any child not picked up by 4pm is automatically put in after school club and its charged to the parent. Reading this thread I'm beginning to realise how lucky I am.

Normally its not an issue and I aim to be there for 3.30 but I've been caught out by buses not turned up every now and then. If I can get a taxi I do that but sometimes they can take ages to turn up. Luckily I have a few friends I can phone and ask them to take her if I'm held up for any reason. I do the same for them. Normally we take them to the nearby park and wait there.

OP you were unlucky with the buses but you must try to communicate with the school as soon as you realise you may be late. The earlier they know the easier it is to plan. If you can afford taxis use them when you need to.

I cannot stand the clocking off culture that seems to be rife in the teaching profession particularly. I frequently held up waiting for people who are running late in my job and do you know what? I just have to deal with it. I have two preschoolers btw so deing with it can take some organisation. What I would it do it be rude and high handed with the late person if it's for reasons outside their control. That's utterly unprofessional .

What I would not do is

Icimoi we would not involve social services until we had tried all the contact numbers on file for the child. You're right we wouldn't have done so after 30 mins especially when the parent had phoned. However, even if a parent had phoned and was an hour late and we couldn't contact them or anyone listed as a contact we would. The worst case scenario is that someone has had a car/bus/road accident on the way to school and by contacting ss or the police after an hour we might be helping the parent.
I wouldn't necessarily expect ss to turn up, last time they advised us to take the child to the nearest police station.
Years ago, teachers would just have taken the child home with them until the parents could be found. Can you imagine if that were to happen now!

There are policies re no shows at pick up for children in school. It was Fri and teachers have a life too. Its always polite to ring the minute you start to over run/be late , not when you are already late, whether for school, work, Dr, friends. Its courtesy/consideration/shows you value others time too.

I just didnt get the number of mums i met while i taught who thought that normal social niceties/'norms' of behaviour can be ignored if you have children.

Genuinely, how will your children learn those things if as a parent you think you are exempt from them??

At my school we start dialling through the contacts / emergency numbers if a child remains uncollected 15 minutes after end of day. It is so tedious! Whereas I have some sympathy for public transport letdowns, what makes me seethe is when parents have made appointments perilously close to pick-up time, and the appointment has predictably run late. I have provided hours and hours of free childcare over the years and however lovely and understanding I try to be about it when the child's parent or carer eventually appears, it still rankles. At the end of the school day, I need to be going hell for leather tidying my classroom, getting stuff ready for the next day, marking etc prior to rushing home to relieve DP of child caring duties in order for him to get to work in time, not sitting in the office dialling unsuspecting grannies.

I work in a primary school office and have to look after distressed children every single day. I can't get on with my admin work because a lot of children are upset that mum/dad hasn't arrived and need consoling or preventing from going out of the gate to look for parents. I therefore end up doing my own work in even more unpaid overtime
I do understand that sometimes events mean that people are late but it surprising how blase people are andvery few apologise. The general view is that you work in a school so you should look after our children wheneven required.

Profuse apologies and even a box of chocs would help enormously!

It was a Friday?? I'd have been livid! When I taught in primary I was breaking my neck to get out of the door on a Friday!

Im surprised they didnt put your ds into after school club until you came op, or was it after that you were running late for? That's what my teacher friend does, they usually have a child a day late.

Did you tell ht you called ahead? Tbh she probably told you to nip lateness in the bud and ensure this didn't become a regular thing. After all repeat offenders all started off with the odd one

Learn to tell the damn time, OP. What the fuck is wrong with you?

I am a teacher in a private school who regularly works from 8-5 during the week but I do stay longer once or twice a week.
On Fridays we have a 2:45 dismissal and we are able to leave after the students have been collected. It infuriates me that parents call to say they will be 10 minutes late, 'stuck in traffic' or forget we have early pickup on Fridays, (despite me sending out regular emails,) and then arrive 30-45 minutes late. The last 2 Fridays I have been there until 3:30 and a few weeks ago I was there until 4:30! That means that I gave that child 1 hour 45 minutes free babysitting. Any other day I don't care, but Friday's I do. And we stay in our classrooms with late students, so we can get our work done.
I love the idea of putting students in an ASC, the parents wouldn't mind paying, and it means I could get to my own dds on time.

I cannot stand the clocking off culture that seems to be rife in the teaching profession particularly.

Yes, how dare those pesky teachers want to try and go home on time for a change, instead of giving free babysitting for parents who are too lazy to look at their watch. What bastards.

'It was a Friday?? I'd have been livid! When I taught in primary I was breaking my neck to get out of the door on a Friday!'

'Yes, how dare those pesky teachers want to try and go home on time for a change, instead of giving free babysitting for parents who are too lazy to look at their watch. What bastards'

Yup- point proved.

Guess what you two- this is what can sometimes happen when you know you have one of those job things; stuff happens that mean that you leave late sometimes. It happens to everyone else so why the the fuck do teachers feel that they have the right to throw the toys out of the pram when the parents lateness is outside their control ??!

Hilarious how one minute the teachers on here have to stay till 6 then next they have to go by 3.30
At my school we leave about 4,same as most of the ta's, there's some who have to collect kids, some who don't, there's always someone around to watch the kids who haven't been picked up, no big deal, you just get on with your work around them.
Suspect there's more to this though like repeatedly being late?? bc most ht's would take it in their stride, or maybe she was having a really bad day, or your son was being v rude. Just chalk it up to experience & sort something out for next time.

In my experience, after 15 minutes the child's main carer called. Then the child was looked after by teachers. It's tough on children when their parents are late. I spent a lot of time reassuring the poor little buggers. Your child probably thought the HT was quite right to have a go.

Friday is the one day that teachers try to get home at a reasonable time-which is why many schools don't run after school clubs on a Friday-mine doesn't!
Most schools don't mind if there is a reason ( rather than an excuse!) for a parent being late-not even if it happens once or twice, although that soon adds up when you have several hundred children! But it is the attitude of some parents that can be the problem. We have one parent who is consistently 10-15 minutes late, however as they have a child at a different school we don't mind, But when the same parent is also 30 minutes late from pick up after a school club ( so at 4.45 rather than 4.15) and then doesn't offer any apology. irritation can begin to creep in! ( although 2 hours late is the school record!!!)

Yes - sometimes shit happens but the op had no fucking clue what time was.

I've missed countless staff meetings to sit at the office with children of parents who couldn't tell the time - there's important shit like safe guarding - which looked after children can't be photographed and who we need to keep an eye on the next day because Dad was arrested for dv last night. Teachers cant afford to miss that stuff because it's important.
Fwiw I still teach, just not in primary. I spent Friday night marking so that I can have today free for my child.

Wow, people are really fucking harsh here

A person was late.... once...and you're all rattling on about social services, child abandonment and their time keep in abilities!

Good God, all the Judgy people, I hope you have never once been late to anything in you life at all... ever. On day you'll be late for something and I hope you get unfairly accused of child abandonment an the social are called in and o the people tell you ho You should have foreseen the reason you were late...NO EXCUSES PEOPLE

YY 001. Hate judgeyness. Mind you judgeyness is one thing but some people just been plain nasty. !!!!!