to think this conversation shouldn't have happened infront of DS ?

[FujimotosElixir]

Unfortunately i was late picking up ds today, quite late my bus was very late and not the kind of distance I could just sod it and walk. i rang the school in panic knowing i.was already late apologising and would get there asap. When i arrived the head teacher was understandably annoyed but said , where have you been , why are you late? ...i had explained this to the AD , and then went onto say this really was too late and it wasnt a bit late and usually they would ring Ss (!? first offence id rang?) and dont let it happen again , ds was really fed up. generally being quite provocative and rude, my issue isnt the conversation itself more the fact it happened in front of DS? im raging so unprofessional, the reason was out of my control although I understand her annoyance. i apologised several times.i wouldn't have minded a.discreet word or 'we'll speak on monday' but i did ring and it wasn't really my fault. AIBU to be annoyed the conversation was so inappropriately done in front of ds?

I do, nokidshere. Like I said up thread, I have to pick my own kids up.

Saying that, no way would I wait with a kid whose mum was 35 minutes late!!

So why ask if YABU, if, after 5 pages of replies - some of which say you aren't, but the considerable majority of which say you are - you are just going to say "Well I'm NBU" ?

I can't see why you are picking on Hillington either - can't see what she said that was unfair or unreasonable.

You were very late. The HT was perfectly right to point out that it was not acceptable, and let you know of what the policy has to be when parents don't pick their dc up from school - that they are obliged to let Social Care know, and that, in time, a social worker will have to arrange to be responsible for them.

Saying that, no way would I wait with a kid whose mum was 35 minutes late!!

Well I wouldn't expect someone to if they also have to be somewhere themselves but there is normally someone in school until 6pm so they obviously aren't rushing off anywhere. 35 mins late would be 4pm at the latest depending on the finishing time of lessons.

As a childcare professional myself I would always stay with a child or find someone who could (if it was impossible for me to do so) if the parent was late. I would consider it my job to do so. It's not the child's fault after all

You were very late. The HT was perfectly right to point out that it was not acceptable, and let you know of what the policy has to be when parents don't pick their dc up from school - that they are obliged to let Social Care know, and that, in time, a social worker will have to arrange to be responsible for them.

The policy for calling SS is for parents not collecting their child(ren) it is not applicable to parents who have already called school to let them know they are running late and are on their way.

Based on this thread, I have a suspicion that it was less about the lateness and more about the OP's attitude with the HT when she arrived.

OP, as a SAHM picking up on time is pretty much your job. The HT was annoyed because they were left to look after your child when they probably had their own child to collect (on time). You are in charge of your own schedule, most people who work are not, such as you showed tonight by enforcing that the teachers stayed back. It's Friday, I always leave as early as possible on a Friday to pick up my DS because I work until much later every other night of the week. I'd be furious if I ended up with your child because you weren't organised enough to get there on time. Imagine if every parent was late because they had a fussing baby and a bus to deal with, it might have been a bit out of your control once you were on the bus but that's not their control. There was nothing wrong with the HT giving you the facts from the policy, whether it was in front of your son or not. Just because it wasn't on purpose doesn't mean that they have to be nice about it, you don't know what inconveniences you've caused for the staff.

What a lot of delightful women we have on here!

What a lot of delightful women we have on here!

That's why I love Mumsnet. OP has been given a variety of responses from posters with different views. Each of us are incredibly delightful and have taken the time to respond!

And now I've remembered why I stopped visting this website.

i said i apologised a lot there was no attitude on my behalf at all, what a load of turdgurgle im reading on here talk about chinese whispers

YABU.

What was the HT expected to do - but the child in another area and then tell OP about the school policy (especially as child was playing up, being ruse and provocative)?

FujimotosElixir you have a young child at school and a little baby. I think you need a sit down and a . Some people here have been clutching their pearls and it's frankly exhausting reading how wonderful they are.

You were late because of a bus. It's not great that you were late, but you did the best you could in those circumstances. Your DS was ok and that's really the most important thing.

I haven't read all of the posts but in OPs situation I would have rang school as soon as I realised I was going to be late and then I would have got a taxi to minimise the lateness. Waiting for a bus, not knowing when it will arrive and knowing that it will be constantly stopping to pick up/ let off passengers just adds to the lateness.
I don't have a back up person for school runs so I always try to keep enough money for a taxi to school just in case I am unable to get there on time for any reason (or get there at all in which case I would ask the school office to put DS in a taxi and send him home which they would do as they are a lovely and helpful school).

Yanbu, headteacher was IMO.

You were late, you let them know, you apologised, it was a first instance. Did the HT want blood? I would understand them being cross but in this instance I think it was outrageous of her to mention SS. As a few others have said, that policy is for people who fail to pick up with no contact, NOT a late parent who calls.

I was late yesterday for the dc...15 minutes. The school is a 5 minute drive, I left 20 minutes before pick up. Unfortunately there was a car on fire on a road on the way (I was a 5 minute walk away by that point), crawling traffic, nowhere safe to dump the car and make a dash.

I pgoned to apologise and apologised again when I got there...what else can you do? I would have been furious to be greeted by a lecture on SS when I arrived, what good would that do?

I'm amazed at the people who are saying teachers need to leave to collect their own children, and leave early on a Friday. This is why teachers are made a joke of, there aren't many jobs where that is an option!

The OP was 35 mins late, so 4:05 depending on school finishing time.

I'm a teacher and I don't leave then! I don't know how I would get everything done!

The point about childcare is right though, school staff don't have time to look after children then.

Blimey! Overreaction by the HT! Sometimes people are late, that's life. If you did it frequently op fair enough but a one off?!! The HT and some of the school staff on this thread sound bloody miserable and mean. This would never happen at my school. Children and parents are treated with understanding and kindness. If a child in my class is left waiting for a late parent I tell them to come and help me in the classroom or have a read just outside my room if I'm very busy. When the parents turn up I talk to them and if it's one of those unfortunate things I am understanding about it. If they are blasé about it I make a mental note to have a chat with them if it happens again. Everyone behaves like this at my school. I agree with you op, I think the HT was ott and it wasn't necessary to give the lecture especially in front of your son.

The HT had every right to moan at you. I don't see the problem of doing it in front of your child. They need to make sure you won't do it again.

you had informed the school you were running late, so threatening SS either in front of the child or out of earshot is ridiculous - I'm sure they have better things to do then to look after school children. And you apologised.

If you are a serial late mother, then the ht is justified in being cross. However, not for a one off incidence, and when you had phoned in advanced.

Also, as the post above says, there are usually teachers on site after school, so your child could have sat in their classroom, whilst waiting.

You're not childcare though. No parent should be as late as the OP was then whine because she was told off.

Depends. Our school expects an enormous amount of parental input (usually with about 5 minutes notice). There should be some mutual respect and give and take.

I'm sorry but I'm not sure what other choice a school has but to contact SS when a child is left a school. They need to know a child will be looked after if you have not turned up to get them. They can't stay there all night, that's not fair on them.

The OP had phoned CumberCookie.

I was late collecting DS on Thursday. He has an extra class until 4, I rang at 3.55 to say I was on my way but stuck in traffic, hoped to be 10 minutes late, but in the end I was 15 minutes late. The teacher taking DS is actually from the nearby secondary school, she had left and DS was chatting in the sunshine with the year 6 teacher from his opposite class, who also takes an extra class until 4. I apologised when I arrived and I was told not to worry about it.

We aren't often late, although DH has forgotten to pick them up a couple of times!

Just as a further thought - DC's after school club had an issue with parents collecting late (they closed at 6 pm). In fact, it got so bad that they created a new policy, that any parent collecting late would pay the hourly overtime rate of the staff left looking after them (because that was the cost to the club).

It pretty much stamped out the 'routine lateness' problem - and in the occasional genuine case, the payment of the 'fine' was seen as absolutely fair (for delay) or waived (for genuine medical emergency or similar).

It is more difficult for a school, bceause class teachers are not on an hourly rate. However, in many schools it is the receptionist - who is contracted to work to no later than 3.30, usually - who gets stuck with children who haven't been picked up, because they are in the best position to make all the multiple phone calls (our policy says receptionist, then pass to SLT)...so perhaps the same approach could be used?