to think this conversation shouldn't have happened infront of DS ?

[FujimotosElixir]

Unfortunately i was late picking up ds today, quite late my bus was very late and not the kind of distance I could just sod it and walk. i rang the school in panic knowing i.was already late apologising and would get there asap. When i arrived the head teacher was understandably annoyed but said , where have you been , why are you late? ...i had explained this to the AD , and then went onto say this really was too late and it wasnt a bit late and usually they would ring Ss (!? first offence id rang?) and dont let it happen again , ds was really fed up. generally being quite provocative and rude, my issue isnt the conversation itself more the fact it happened in front of DS? im raging so unprofessional, the reason was out of my control although I understand her annoyance. i apologised several times.i wouldn't have minded a.discreet word or 'we'll speak on monday' but i did ring and it wasn't really my fault. AIBU to be annoyed the conversation was so inappropriately done in front of ds?

although DH has forgotten to pick them up a couple of times!

How on earth does a parent forget to pick their children up from school?

Shit indeed does happen, I was delayed last year when a wagon got wedged in a hair pin bend but because I was on the way, I was able to ring school and let them know before I actually became late.

The 'thought I was 10 mins but actually was 35' thing is strange

cumber "I'm sorry but I'm not sure what other choice a school has but to contact SS when a child is left a school."

Their first choice would be surely to try and contact the parent and not the SS???

Im still confused by the reason OP was late- she has mentioned a fussing baby, a late bus and a GP apt

All this fuss when op is not usually late, had phoned to explained and apologised. It's so ridiculous. When parents are late it can be quite upsetting for a child. As school staff, with the interests of the child foremost in our minds, we make sure that we are jolly and reassuring to the child until their parent arrives. The snotty attitude of some respondents here must make the child feel even more upset. I'm so glad I don't work with people like that.

What fuss?
The HT spoke briefly to the Op.

Im a nanny (so slightly different) but if the parent is going to be late I expect a call/text as soon as they realise they're going to be late so if they have to leave the office at 5.30 then I need to know then, not at 5 past 6

I'm a bit mystified as to whether you have emergency contacts OP?, our school procedure is yo ring the parent and then each contact in turn if a parent us 10 minutes late.

School staff are in loco parentis until you are there. Once you arrived you were in charge of your child. If you felt that the conversation was inappropriate it was up to you to ask your child to wait outside the door.

HT was annoyed, questioned her "where were you? Why were you late?" And then says she might have had to call SS! Then other posters state "there's no way I'd wait with a child whose parents were late". Nice!

Assuming she's got the message. If not I can understand her frustration.

Hardly a massive drama .

A friend (40+) told me that the other day she was waiting at a train station for her DM to pick her up. She was grateful that her DM was coming out to get her, but said that of course, as always, her DM was late. She said that it took her straight back to school days and wasted hours hanging around in empty playgrounds waiting for a DM who was always late and was a SAHM with no other commitments and her own car. She said it made her miserable, now as it did then.

Those who are regularly late think on.

YABU

The HT was just advising you of what would happen if your child is late.

"Behave like a dick"
Gosh there are some very precious parents around- she didn't shout she just spoke to the OP.

I would have just apologised and gone home.

at AuditAngel's self congratulatory "we aren't often late", when the kids were forgotten about completely several times...

I think it sounds like the head is sick and tired of parents who take the P, and has to lay down the law. Everyone thinks it is only 10 minutes here and there and no biggie, or that THEIR excuse is more important/valid than the other guy's.

We have this at our school with the selfish twits who insist they have no option but to park over the neighbours driveway/in the school gate/on the zigzag lines/double park blocking the whole road etc, because by the time they get there, there is nowhere else left to park. They have no concept of planning their lives better, arranging to work differently or for someone else to collect their DC.

completely agree with this Phantom.

I also think that if you don't drive it's pretty silly sending your child to an infant or primary school that is not a comfortable walking distance from your own home. Public transport is notoriously unreliable and as boring and irritating as it might be, you really need to be waiting for the bus before the one that gets you there on time, in case the one that gets you there on time is cancelled. Same same goes for getting there in the mornings. And you always need a Plan B.

I don't get why the school would ring SS either, surely they would ring the next contact in my case DM and exmil if they couldn't get me, but op rung so they knew where she was. If ss intervened and collected all the late kids with parents enroute they would never get anything done. I don;t know any of the teachers at our school who leave with the kids after class, they all finish at 5ish, i wish my work would let me leave early on a Friday

Hardly a massive drama .

But it can be a massive drama. I got stuck at school one night until 6.30 pm (child was at ASC which finished at 5.00, child hadn't been picked up so they left him there. It cost me $130 in overtime daycare fees by the time I got to get my own son from daycare and I missed my training class for my sport. All because a parent was late and thought it wasn't a 'massive drama'.

And just because people think it's a 'once off', forgets there can be 500 students in a school. If just half of those parents are late just once per year, that's a lot of inconvenience for staff.

No teacher I know would just leave a student behind. But that doesn't mean that it is no big deal when it happens. Every incident has repercussions for others, and discounting that impact on staff is what gets people upset.

If they would have rung Ss they would have more than likely been told off for wasting time and more importantly for creating a social care record for a child who doesn't need one.

The irony on this site is that a school has to watch a child for 35 minutes and it's the crime of the century, opposed to a poster posting about suspected child abuse who are told to have a coffee with them or keep their noses out!

Interesting how teachers are always at great pains to tell you they don't skip off home at 3.30, when clearly they do!

OP, I find it hard to fellow what actually happened, which is fair enough as you have had such horrible replies, I don't blame for for not explaining fully. If it was a one off, then no I don't think you should have been shouted at. You do need to keep a closer eye on the time though, and have a plan B but you realise that. Offer to help others and they will then help you too. I never say no when someones asks me for help (even if not convenient) as I may need their help sometime too! I feel really lucky on threads like these as where I am parents are more than happy to help eachother!