to think this conversation shouldn't have happened infront of DS ?

[FujimotosElixir]

Unfortunately i was late picking up ds today, quite late my bus was very late and not the kind of distance I could just sod it and walk. i rang the school in panic knowing i.was already late apologising and would get there asap. When i arrived the head teacher was understandably annoyed but said , where have you been , why are you late? ...i had explained this to the AD , and then went onto say this really was too late and it wasnt a bit late and usually they would ring Ss (!? first offence id rang?) and dont let it happen again , ds was really fed up. generally being quite provocative and rude, my issue isnt the conversation itself more the fact it happened in front of DS? im raging so unprofessional, the reason was out of my control although I understand her annoyance. i apologised several times.i wouldn't have minded a.discreet word or 'we'll speak on monday' but i did ring and it wasn't really my fault. AIBU to be annoyed the conversation was so inappropriately done in front of ds?

Why are some people still saying the HT threatened the OP with SS?

and then went onto say this really was too late and it wasnt a bit late and usually they would ring Ss

That ^^ is not a threat. That is the HT explaining what they usually do.

Where does it say anywhere in the OP that the HT shouted ?- she didn't.

I totally agree with OP.
I literally can not BELIEVE that Head threatened SS.
Yes not all teachers can wait, yes they have to leave to collect children or just to have their own life. And no, it's not free childcare.
but the head stayed. Loads of staff stay at our school every day, doing things, marking, class preparation. There are also tonnes of after school clubs- judo/French/netball classes going on. So loads of people around.
None of this is ideal. But it's hardly s catastrophe.

And this was a ONE off lateness. Not a serial lateness person.
By a mum who has already phoned to apologise.

Seems I am the only one who thinks the Head has TOTALLY over-reacted.

im sure it was all quite stressful.
If this was the first time then I think she wa a bit mardy tbh. And "threatening" you with ss in front of your child (which is what it spunds like from the op) sounds alittle too much like posturing imo, which is unneccessary and not pleasant really.
But I can see why she was annoyed. She might have alrady been having a stressful day. and maybe she felt you ought to have given more notice initially.

I think the head was mot definitey "threatening" a referral to ss. It was an act of posturing imo.

Rita I wanted to change that to 'told off' but there is no edit button I came back to see how long it would take for someone to point it out.... you did not disappoint!

I literally can not BELIEVE that Head threatened SS.

Good, because she literally didn't.

How old is your child? Do they even know what social services are?

I don't think there's anything wrong with them mentioning this to you?

Perhaps you were in a flap about being late (I would have been, I hate being late) and didn't come across as sufficiently apologetic - saying sorry should really, whatever the reason, be a matter of course and I would go massively over the top if I was that late for school.

Im wondering if the HT didn't get the message and that's why she told the OP that there policy with a missing parent would be to call SS.
It doesn't make sense otherwise and would explain why the HT was not happy if being late home on a Friday isn't enough

their policy

That's why Im wondering if the HT didn't get the message Altinkum

Threat of SS in those circumstances (first time, phoned, understandable reason for delay even if not ideal) is disgraceful and inappropriate.

I don't think that anyone is suggesting that a SW is going to drive to the school - simply that if the parent is missing then SS must be informed as a duty of care to both the child and the parent

It is similar in profession ,if a co-worker/student doesn't turn up and is not contactable then we try NOK, if no NOK can be contacted then we ask the Police to do a welfare check.

That's why I think the person who took the message might not have passed it on or the OP has left something relevant out

Op States her issue is that the convo took place in front of her son, not what was actually said.

That's why I asked how old her son is, as the actual as aspect of it probably went over his head. He could be acting up due to the tension and stress, but unlikely that he is fearing ss involvemenT......

'as aspect' = 'ss aspect'

I wonder how many posters who say what would and wouldn't happen actually work in schools. Schools have their own policies about late collection and left children. Ours does state that after 1 hr, children will either be taken to the local police station or the local social service office.
If a parent made a doctors appointment, knowing that meant they might be/or would be late for school then I would expect the HT to moan to the parent about this. The child would be fed up because they probably had to sit quietly in the HT office whilst they were waiting.
Profuse apologies from the parent should have been the order of the day.
I can't tell you how many late parents apologise profusely to their child but never to the staff who have had to stay late!

Well I work in a school mygrandchildren, just because people have a different policy to the one you work in doesn't mean they are lying!!!

Satsumafairly, no of course it doesn't and I wasn't implying it does. My post was really aimed at people saying how ridiculous it would be to involve SS when our policy says we will do just that!

mygrandchildren, would you seriously involve Social Services when a parent has told you that they are on their way and explained why they are late? And do Social Services respond? I have to say I would be amazed if they did so, because they are chronically understaffed and really have better things to do than go out to schools where they will almost inevitably discover that the child is long gone by the time they get there.

I'm amazed that so many people think that driving is the answer to this problem. Quite apart from the fact that there may be many good and insuperable reasons why the OP doesn't drive, in my experience it doesn't offer any guarantee that the parent will get there on time. Surely most drivers have had the experience of being stuck in a horrendous traffic jam so that a journey which normally takes 20 minutes actually takes an hour or more?

But where do you draw the line? A mum says they are going to be 10 mins late, half an hour later they are still not there. At some point you have to think about what you will do next, and it sounds like that procedure was understandably going through the HT mind.