To ask how if you're an introvert, and if so how do you recharge you're batteries?

[EmeraldThief]

I'm an introvert (obviously). I find lots of socialising and large groups of people really draining. I don't dislike socialising or people, but I have a limit and when I reach it I become grumpy, snappy and just want to run away and be on my own for a bit.

I find that we live in a world that's increasingly biased towards extroverts and introverts are considered odd/weird/anti social/strange. I love nothing more than going for a stroll on my own or going to a cafe and sitting and watching the world go by. Others find this really odd for some reason, I don't know why? "What, you went shopping on your own?" Yes, why the hell not?

How do you recharge you're batteries and how do you deal with the discrimination against introverts?

I don't worry about what anyone else thinks. I've always preferred my own company to anyone else's.

I recharge by either doing something alone, like shopping, or holing up in my house (when husband and son are out) and watching TV/reading/knitting.

Hi Emerald, I'm an introvert too!

Like you, I don't dislike socialising or people, but only for limited times and then I want/need to get away. I'm lucky in that I've been a SAHM since my eldest was born and I get plenty of time alone in the day when my DDs are at school and Dh is at work. I'm always glad when they're all home though, I just like that time to recharge.

I love pottering around alone at home, going for walks alone etc. To be honest, it's only in recent years that I've realised it's perfectly normal and okay to be happy in my own company. I've always been encouraged to 'come out of my shell' and be more confident/outgoing ..erm, I don't actually want to thanks!

I tend to just ignore people who hold the opinion that introverted behaviour is odd. Id rather be quiet and introverted than annoyingly gobby loud and extroverted.

I'm the same but I don't give a crap what anyone else thinks of it. I like my alone time. I'm a member of a running club and sometimes go running with them in a group and sometimes I go alone - that's how I recharge.

I am too. It took me a long time to realise it though. I love cafes on, shopping on my own, thinking and sorting things out on my own, I don't thin people who meet me think I am an introvert but I worked for a month doing Tefl and everybody else needed to being around each other and I used to sneak off on my own in the evenings to have a glass of wine with only my book.

Luckily my dh is into reading etc and goes into the kitchen at night. I also am on maternity leave so I go into town for an hour and be social big come home and love it.

I have a friend who pesters me a lot that I am a hermit but weekends are precious and I cannot stand her draining moany ways.

This is such an interesting thread! I've never considered myself an introvert but I feel exactly as you've described. I really enjoy being around people and chatting and making friends but when I get home I hate being disturbed! I love nothing more than long dog walks where we see no one and if we go on holiday I actively avoid making friends! Anyway, I like to get out of the city, walkin the countryside or read for hours.

I'm a bit odd in that I'm a loud and sociable introvert. I love meeting up with people and chatting, I'm not even particularly bad at crowds or new people BUT I can do it for 2, maybe 3 hours, before feeling the need to go somewhere quiet and recharge. So I have the same energy cost as an introvert but without the discrimination IYSWIM?

I cope by doing a lot of hobbies that create alone time - knitting, reading with a book club, writing, drawing, playing piano, (lone) sailing and cycling, swimming, running. Obviously not all at the same time and sometimes not for months but these are activities where people accept the need for quiet, individual time without thinking you're strange for wanting to be alone!

You might enjoy the book Quiet The Power of Introverts in a world that can't stop talking

I'm pretty lucky I suppose, all of my friends know that when I go into self imposed exile it's because I need to be alone and nothing against them, but as a compromise I now leave my mobile on for emergencies. when I am at my lowest levels even someone phoning my house phone is an intrusion to me, or worse coming to my door!

Even my colleague are pretty considerate, not that I'm ever rude but they know that when I'm not my usual chatty self not to push - I turn down a night out, it's not that I don't like them. I suppose it helps that I know I'm a little stranger than most people around me, I have never denied it nor am I ashamed or it. I think it's an advantage that makes me brillant at the job I do. Not everyone is comfortable in their own skin, I am. I have quirks! But I am a good person. If someone doesn't see past my quirks, then it's really no loss to me to not have them in my life.

What do I do to recharge? Feed the birds, grab my dog and disappear into the countryside, demolish boxsets and read my kindle. Mostly nothing that requires any human contact.

My special birthday treat that I try to give myself each year is to spend it alone, but I am mostly foiled by family on that one.

Also an introvert.

I don't really do socialising any more. I'd rather go to the cinema or watch tv. I'm lucky to live in a house with two other introverts so we all rub along nicely.

Dd loves to go out with her friends but when she does she needs the next day off and will hole up in her room.

Tbh if any of my friends declared that I was odd for wanting to do things on my own I'd consider them to be very rude and their opinion not really worth anything.

Solo exercise like running, walking or cycling. Some types of group exercise are also good, like yoga or pilates, where you're not really expected to talk much. Going to the cinema/theatre is also great when you're on your own! When other people think it's odd, is that because you're subconsciously making a thing of it? Because I wouldn't think to ask someone 'who did you go with?' if they said 'I went shopping at the weekend', but if you phrase it as 'I went shopping on my own at the weekend' then that might make some people think it's a bit odd.

Either way, the trick is just not to care about what other people think. Do what makes you happy!

I am also a sociable introvert. Good recharging hobbies without appearing odd or rude are things that can only be done alone; luckily I love reading; books or newspapers mainly, tbh you don't really need to actually read, you could just sit in a cafe and people watch but have your book open on your lap?!

Sadly there are some buffoons in this world who will take your quiet solitary peace and squash it in their fat little hands. For example: 'must be a good book', 'what are you reading?', 'oh, four down, that's 'amicable'!' This is considerably more stressful than not having attempted any recharging time at all as it makes me want to growl at them then storm off onto the top of a mountain to get some peace.

My mother recommends swimming; not like a gently breaststroke to keep your head above water and chat, but proper swimming.

DH runs, quite fast, so off he goes and people generally only join him once :). Or run (or walk) with headphones in and say you're catching up with a podcast before the next episode is on.

Good luck!

I'm an introvert too! But then I can spend forever with my partner and son.. When I socialise I really love it, have a brilliant time with lots of lively conversation, maybe spend an evening with people but then I want to go home and probably not see them again for a while.. It's nothing personal! So people think I'm still sociable company but that I'm busy a lot so can't see them often (I'm not I'm just at home!)

I love going for a walk on my own, watching a show alone once baby asleep and partner working away, going to the shops and getting a coffee, having a browse.. Just being in my own head. Shutting the front door and being back in my bubble!

I could never be the type to see the same people weekly, I would feel suffocated.. Maybe that's how you get really close friendships but I feel close to my friends.

Yes, I'm one too and completely get where you're coming from. I'm not shy and happy to socialise but get to a point where I just have to be away from other people, no matter how much I like them!

I recharge by spending time on my own whenever I can - for example, I have today and tomorrow off work and my DS is with his Dad (I'm a single mum). I'm just pottering round the house, pleasing myself.

I can happily spend several days like this, not talking to a soul.

Loving this thread. What you do is completely fine OP, I prefer shopping etc on my own. Now I'm on maternity leave I get less judgement about doing things on my own as I have the baby with me for walks etc, although he's usually asleep if we're walking so good alone time. I really like reading and faffing on the Internet

Another 'sociable introvert' here - I love people and find them endlessly fascinating, but only in limited doses! I've learnt to pull off a pretty good impression of an extrovert when needed, but find it exhausting. I do enjoy socialising to a degree, but need plenty of down time, which I get by going to the cinema or shopping alone (I find I can't focus as well with other people), walking in the park, reading a book, pottering about in the garden etc.

I've read the 'Quiet' book recommended above and found it very enlightening. There's also another book called something like 'The Highly Sensitive Person' which answered a lot of the things I'd always wondered about myself - like why I'm always aware of things like strange smells, music levels and other people's moods in social situations like parties etc, while my massively extrovert best friend remains utterly oblivious! Doing the Myers-Briggs personality test helped a bit too (I'm an INFP) - I don't follow it religiously, but it did explain why I sometimes feel a bit at odds with the way mainstream society functions.

The aforementioned best friend is my absolute polar opposite (she's ESTJ according to the Myers Briggs, which is as different from INFP as you can get). She's so extroverted that she fills up her diary months ahead, often deliberately double-booking herself, and panics whenever plans fall though because she loathes her own company so much - I think I'd rather be in our shoes personally!

Know what you mean about the world (especially the working world) being organised around extroverts, though - I really struggle with things like open-plan offices (find it over-stimulating and can't concentrate) and while I do enjoy teamwork I find the current obsession with it tiresome ('Quiet' goes into this in detail - apparently research shows that constant collaboration actually stifles creativity). I'm a teacher now, and am seeing the same thing coming through in schools - quiet, thoughtful children being forced into methods of working that don't suit them because that's what 'the system' wants.

Just to add, I don't do things like put my birthday on Facebook so that usually gets to be a quiet one - people don't write down / remember those things anymore

I'm an introvert. I like other people (apart from my partner, who I can happily sit in silence with, both reading or whatever) in short bursts but enjoy my own company a lot. When I was single I used to have whole weekends where I'd not see or talk to anyone from 5pm on Friday until 9am on Monday, and I loved it. People used to ask how I filled the time... Pottering, reading, long baths, cooking, beauty treatments, Internet, TV, walks - I never thought on the time as something I needed to "fill".

Reading mainly. A nice long shower helps too. I just get on with my life regardless of what others think. I have even been known to go walking for a whole weekend by myself

I always enjoy some quiet time watching tv or on the laptop playing sims (i know a grown up playing a game but i dont care)

Temps

I have an extrovert best friend! I wonder if, bizarrely, we are drawn to people that aren't overly dependant on our company?

Love this thread, I'm an introvert too and glad to see lots of other like minded people

I do love socialising especially since DS was born but too much is exhausting!

I can get along with most people but loud brash people that see it as their duty to pick at us introverts are the worst. The endless "you don't say much do you?", "are you alright?", "what's wrong?" Do my nut in!

pottering about at home, crafting and baking badly are my favourite ways to spend alone time.

Introvert to the max here, hate socialising and don't really know anyone like me. I have just been out with a group of friends for the first time in 5 years, but would rather sit at home and read a book!

I take my notebook, a bic fine line biro and I go and sit under a tree/outside a v quiet café, by a river etc and I write.

I don't really like socialising. I like my friends and am interested in their lives and I do make an effort to see them but I find I have a limit and once I've reached it become exhausted, stressed and jittery.

Luckily, I married an introvert and my best friend is an introvert too.

We're 5 years into a 10 year plan to move to remote Scotland. I crave it. Our only problem now is that 7yo dd is not so keen though she is very like us and I suspect will be an introvert. Her little brother, however, is a social butterfly and craves noise and attention. Feels cruel to drag him away to the middle of nowhere.

I realized recently that I'm an introvert, mostly from studying my DS and working out how he functions, then recognizing a lot of the same behaviours in myself. I have lots of close, lifelong friends and many passing acquaintances and I love to chat, get to know people and be with others. But there comes a point when I have a physical need to be alone, and I could honestly walk out half way through a conversation, such is the pull to be alone - I mean, I wouldn't actually do that as it's impolite, but I feel like I could. Too much sensory stimulation leaves me exhausted and I definitely prefer being alone in nature than with others in a city, for example.

Now I understand myself better, I feel so much happier and let myself have the space I need to be alone and re-boot, without feeling like I'm being unusual or awkward to others.

I'm an introvert too. My tolerance to people depends on the people, I can deal much longuer with people who are calm and don't take too much space than with v verbal extroverts. However I never felt discriminated in the day to day life. Each time I say I need time on my own people got it. On the contrary if I said I went out on my own people are understanding or envy my "independance".
I also think that the internet age encourages introversion. The only place I noticed it could be an issue was at work. Extroverts get noticed because they talk so much of what they do. Clients notice how I work and how I listen to them, but bosses less bc I'm not boasting what I do.

I'm an introvert! I don't have a mobile phone as I cannot cope with the feeling that I am always contactable. When I have the freedom I walk and swim on my own. I much prefer going shopping and out for coffee on my own. My main switch off time at the moment is my music practice and watching late TV after everyone else has gone to bed. I just don't tell everyone how much I manage to get up to on my own!