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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBM to not let ds2 4 wear his Elsa dress out anymore due to twattish sniggering parents

610 replies

NellysKnickers · 13/04/2015 16:00

Ds2s hero is Elsa. He loves her and Frozen. He also loves mud, dinosaurs, trains and his bike. He wore his Elsa dress to pick up ds1 from school today. I'm shocked by the amount of parents giggling and pointing, I expected a bit from kids who dont know any better but adults? ?? I'm torn between being upset and wanting to pinch them in the face ( obviously I would never do this in reality) Why is it that people think it's ok to laugh at someone a little bit different, Dh just says they are a bit thick!

OP posts:
intimefortea · 13/04/2015 16:44

From reading this thread I know I'll get flamed but I don't care I think homeishappiness is dead right about it looking ridiculous, I mean has the world gone mad to think that there would be absolutely no turned heads or raised eyebrows? Yeah sure everyone can wear whatever they want but we don't all have to agree it is acceptable.

EqualRites · 13/04/2015 16:46

I do know that, for example, when someone who is very overweight walks by it elicits stares and mutters and gasps. What has this got to do with anything? The people doing that are horrible people.

I would inwardly be curling my lip Urgh.

DoraGora · 13/04/2015 16:46

Buy snickers bars and hand them out graciously to sniggering parents.

OfaFrenchMind · 13/04/2015 16:47

I am seriously trying to guess where you live, 5madthings : Key West, Fl, or Greenwich Village? :)

noseymcposey · 13/04/2015 16:48

intinefortea What do you find unable to acceptable about it? Please don't say something like "it's just wrong/not normal"

And actually it really is quite normal at that age. According to teacher friends boys of that age are quite often found dressed in the princess dresses/tiaras etc. It's really quite a different thing to actual cross-dressing.

Micah · 13/04/2015 16:48

Let him wear it, and teach him to hold his head high :)

My dd went through much the same. Because the ignorants out there assumed she was a boy because she had short hair (beautiful pixie crop-her choice). And this was for normal dresses, not even Disney ones - "have you let him wear his sisters clothes".

So all you judgy people hoisting pants and curling lips, how do you know for 100% sure the kid isn't female if you don't know the child?

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 13/04/2015 16:49

and I should add - both my kids choose to wear what they wear., unless it's plain unhealthy eg swimsuit in -5 snow.
I neither encourage nor discourage other than, except school uniform, it's their choice.
If DS chooses to wear dresses ong-term, i shall support him. If he, more likely, switches to eg footy gear or jeans, that's also fine too.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 13/04/2015 16:50

intimefortea and homeishappiness* - Sorry, but what on EARTH is unacceptable or distasteful about a young child choosing dressing-up clothes?

Sorry, but I think you are completely bonkers.

WorraLiberty · 13/04/2015 16:50

Why on earth would you want to punch them in the face for giggling and pointing, OP? Confused

If they were sneering and saying nasty things, then fair enough, but it doesn't sound as though they were?

I've taken my DC to school dressed as Indianna Jones, an Oompa Lumpa, Scooby Doo and all manner of other costumes, that made people laugh/smile/point.

It's what people do when someone walks by in fancy dress.

noseymcposey · 13/04/2015 16:50

ofa are you serious? You don't think young boys do this quite regularly in perfectly normal parts of the country? Maybe not dressed up in their own dress on the school run but trying them on out of the fancy dress box at preschool etc?

SantanaLopez · 13/04/2015 16:51

Key rules of MN

  1. you have failed if your daughter loves pink
  2. you have fanfuckingtastic if your son loves pink
SantanaLopez · 13/04/2015 16:51

Oooh bad grammar. *are

SolomanDaisy · 13/04/2015 16:52

Homeishappiness, it's probably your social duty to tell us where you live so we don't accidentally go there. It sounds grim.

I think people do laugh at kids dressed up. People laughed (kindly) at my DS a few weeks ago when he went out wearing several layers of fancy dress - mix of pirate, fire officer and monster - with wellies. But I knew that was amused rather than judgemental laughter, even though he did look like he was wearing a dress as the pirate tunic was way too big.

MrsMoggy · 13/04/2015 16:54

I wouldn't let my 3 year old son out of the house in a dress. I wouldn't even buy one in the first place though, not that he's ever asked for one. I choose what clothes he wears the majority of the time though and it will stay that way for a long time yet. I would never laugh at a boy in a dress as that's not nice, but it doesn't mean I would allow it myself

ConfusedInBath · 13/04/2015 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rosy189 · 13/04/2015 16:57

I had to comment here..

Poor little boy! grown ups pointing and giggling at an innocent child! All it is is a character costume! He likes the character- wants to wear her costume, big deal!

Stay strong OP!

RoseWithAThorn · 13/04/2015 16:57

Key rules of MN

  1. you have failed if your daughter loves pink
  2. you have fanfuckingtastic if your son loves pink

Very true and ^that is just the tip of the iceberg. I never see half the opinions in RL that I see on here.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 13/04/2015 16:59

Oh, do shut up Santana
DD used to hate pink, now she loves it. She does a sport which can be male or female-oriented.
DS used to love pink, now dislikes it (but he has a pink feature wall in bedroom). He also does a sport which can be male or female-oriented.

No gender-specifics in this house - they got to choose their toys and dress-ups (yes, to go out with in public)
I never gave a flying fig about what other people thought of them, when they were dressed up in their chosen outfits.

ApocalypseThen · 13/04/2015 17:03

I genuinely see no reason why a boy shouldn't dress in a frock if he wants to. What harm is it doing? It's only a dress. No magic. You do more harm by insisting on made up gender stuff being mandatory.

Original poster
NellysKnickers · 13/04/2015 17:03

Some truly lovely responses here but I just don't get don't get why some of you think it's ok to laugh and point at a 4 year old boy because he is wearing the outfit his hero wears???? Does it matter what people are wearing? Really? And Worrall, I wanted to punch them in the face because who the fuck thinks it's ok to snigger at an innocent little boy, like I said, I would never actually do it, it just made me sad and angry and to be honest it's the first time I've really thought about the prejudices and narrow mindedness my dcs will have to deal with in the big wide world, why can't everyone just accept each other for who they are?

OP posts:
EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 13/04/2015 17:03

DC went next door to play with be entertained by teenage girl next door. She laughingly took off DS's socks to paint his toenails - only to find THEY'D ALREADY BEEN DONE!

Still makes me chuckle, 18 yrs later - Hahahahaha

Stick to your guns, NellysKnickers - let your DS dress up how he wants to. Flowers

WonderingWillow · 13/04/2015 17:03

rose totally agree. This site is bizarre sometimes!

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 13/04/2015 17:04

I wouldn't be so rude as to point and laugh, but I'd sure as hell have a chuckle about it when I got round the corner.

Although, as it's something I've never seen in real life that's all theoretical....

Homeishappiness · 13/04/2015 17:05

Oh, it isn't doing any harm and certainly I wouldn't personally point or laugh.

I reserve the right to inwardly feel it looks revolting, however Wink

Feminine · 13/04/2015 17:06

I don't think you can be sure they weren't just observing in a laugh- y type way can you?
My daughtergets stares in her Frozen get up too!