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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBM to not let ds2 4 wear his Elsa dress out anymore due to twattish sniggering parents

610 replies

NellysKnickers · 13/04/2015 16:00

Ds2s hero is Elsa. He loves her and Frozen. He also loves mud, dinosaurs, trains and his bike. He wore his Elsa dress to pick up ds1 from school today. I'm shocked by the amount of parents giggling and pointing, I expected a bit from kids who dont know any better but adults? ?? I'm torn between being upset and wanting to pinch them in the face ( obviously I would never do this in reality) Why is it that people think it's ok to laugh at someone a little bit different, Dh just says they are a bit thick!

OP posts:

noseymcposey · 13/04/2015 16:19

Rabbit puts what I am trying to say better - adults laugh at things they find adorable. I would find it more strange if people looked completely po-faced about it. The vast majority of people I have come accross really would not have a problem with this.

nocoolnamesleft · 13/04/2015 16:19

Why is it ridiculous? I presume any woman that thinks it is ridiculous always wears a skirt/dress (floor length, obviously) as trousers are clearly male attire...

ApplePaltrow · 13/04/2015 16:21

Well done OP!

AIBM to not let ds2 4 wear his Elsa dress out anymore due to twattish sniggering parents

WonderingWillow · 13/04/2015 16:22

YABU to let your son outside in one of those crappy fancy dress outfits. What's the obsession? They're always made of horrible, flimsy material that rips in an instant and is either too hot or too cold.

And yes, my DS has worn an Elsa dress at his little friend's house

I often think parents who let their boys wear dresses are watching, and waiting for people to react so they can be controversial and get angry with 'society'.

Your kid wants to wear a dress. Fine. The majority of people do not give a good damn.

ghostyslovesheep · 13/04/2015 16:22

my 10 year old daughter spend her entire life in either football kit or 'boys' t'shirts and sweat pants (as in from the boys section of shops) because that's what she likes to wear

I bet your son loved glorious OP x

RabbitSaysWoof · 13/04/2015 16:22

Thats true actually nosey, straight faces could mean silently judging.

EqualRites · 13/04/2015 16:23

This thread is not about the majority of people, it's about the minority of people who laughed at a small child who was dressing up.

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 13/04/2015 16:23

Utter morons. My little boy is nearly 2 and is obsessed with tractors and cars, but also loves to dress up in anything, including his sister's witch/fairy/princess dresses. We went to tesco the other day with him as a fairy because he was so happy in it. An early but sad lesson that some people are dicks, and if he's happy, who cares.

TheTroubleWithAngels · 13/04/2015 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Homeishappiness · 13/04/2015 16:26

I just think it looks completely stupid. Yes, I accept that's because of cultural norms that have obviously made me prejudiced but under the cloak of relative anonymity I think little boys wearing dresses look ludicrous and I just find it personally distasteful. I don't know anyone who wouldn't react by saying as much although not in the hearing of the parent or child as we do have manners.

EqualRites · 13/04/2015 16:30

What's distasteful about it? It's amazing that you fully accept that cultural norms have made you prejudiced, but feel no compunction to challenge your feelings.

noseymcposey · 13/04/2015 16:32

"it's about the minority of people who laughed at a small child who was dressing up."

Well yes! Dressing up generally does illicit a reaction. If any child male or female (or adult for that matter) was on the school run in full fancy dress it would probably illicit a few laughs. It doesn't means it's being judged maliciously. Should we not laugh at children then? I think they are generally very funny!

EqualRites · 13/04/2015 16:32

Do you have any other prejudices you don't feel like working on - racism? Homophobia?

noseymcposey · 13/04/2015 16:33

Or maybe I am naive and there are lots of people like homeishappiness Although people with that sort of attitude are liable to be offended by many many many things life and I rather think that is their problem not yours OP.

Home What on earth can you possibly find distasteful?

WonderingWillow · 13/04/2015 16:34

Why do you care so much about what other people think? That's not a great lesson to teach your son, is it? Maybe work on that as well.

noseymcposey · 13/04/2015 16:35

I can remember a boy school expressing very homophobic views and when challenged gave 'well I can't help it's the way I was brought up' as his excuse. Where do you even start with that sort of thinking?

SpringBreaker · 13/04/2015 16:35

"Why is it ridiculous? I presume any woman that thinks it is ridiculous always wears a skirt/dress (floor length, obviously) as trousers are clearly male attire..."

I would expect a few raised eyebrows if one of the dads turned up at the school gate wearing a dress..... wouldnt you??

OfaFrenchMind · 13/04/2015 16:37

Well, right or wrong, YABU or YANBU, OP, be sure that now you are part of a very precious and protected section of MN: the parents of cross-dressing little boys. You should get a every time you post.

EqualRites · 13/04/2015 16:38

I think it's pretty obvious whether laughing in those situations is meant kindly or maliciously.

I agree though that it's best not care too much what other people think.

QueenofallIsee · 13/04/2015 16:39

Let him wear it if HE wants to and HE has asked even if you have suggested that he change as fancy dress is playwear not outside wear - my godson wore fancy princess dresses and had butterfly face paint at every opportunity until he started school. If however you are a parent who (narrows eyes at neighbour) is influencing his choice due to some sort of 'right on' agenda about gender stereotyping then leave the poor lad alone and let him play in dungarees as they are much more practical

Homeishappiness · 13/04/2015 16:42

There is something about a small boy wearing a dress, particularly a Disney princess dress, that yes, I find distasteful.

I don't know why. I do know that, for example, when someone who is very overweight walks by it elicits stares and mutters and gasps. I don't do this: it's rude, and nor would I comment if I saw a boy wearing a Disney princess dress but I would inwardly be curling my lip. I also know most people would - around here at any rate.

That doesn't mean anyone is justified being rude and I wouldn't be but nor would I allow a son of mine to go out dressed like that - mind you I wouldn't let my daughter either :)

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 13/04/2015 16:42

My 3 yr old DS went to the birthday party of my DD's male friend. He had a proper invite and everything. It was a party for 6yr olds.
Very proudly DS wore his girl pirate outfit. One or two odd looks but fuck em all. The following week he wore a Hello Kitty dress to nursery.
he can wear it for as long as he wants.
If he's still wearing it at 4, going on 5 I will have a chat to him about what some people might say, to prepare him, but he has my 100% support at home. DD was the same - got teased in Reception for wearing spiderman wellies and a dinosaur coat to school. A quiet word soon stopped that.

I support my kids choices, sounds like you do too. Your DS1 sounds fab.

SantanaLopez · 13/04/2015 16:42

be sure that now you are part of a very precious and protected section of MN: the parents of cross-dressing little boys.

I love that these OPs always act so surprised. Duh!

noseymcposey · 13/04/2015 16:43

I think if a dad on the school run did any number of things that my nearly 4 year old does they would get some very funny looks springbreaker

5madthings · 13/04/2015 16:43

Aww bless him.

If it helps no one would have batted an eyelid here, in fact there are a few little ones that dress up, in the lower school it's quite common for the boys to try on the fancy dresses etc in the dress up box, same at pre school.

At madthing5's birthday one of her little friends came in a dress he had nabed from his elder sister.

My ds3(10) has always loved dressing up, fairy dresses and tutus etc.

It's no wonder some children grow up to bully really given the examples some parents set.

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