AIBM to not let ds2 4 wear his Elsa dress out anymore due to twattish sniggering parents

[NellysKnickers]

Ds2s hero is Elsa. He loves her and Frozen. He also loves mud, dinosaurs, trains and his bike. He wore his Elsa dress to pick up ds1 from school today. I'm shocked by the amount of parents giggling and pointing, I expected a bit from kids who dont know any better but adults? ?? I'm torn between being upset and wanting to pinch them in the face ( obviously I would never do this in reality) Why is it that people think it's ok to laugh at someone a little bit different, Dh just says they are a bit thick!

I have to say i would stare if someone took their 4 year old son out in a dress. i also have yet to see this in real life yet apparently it is all over mumsnet.

Don't get me wrong, when DD1's friends came over to play when she was 4-5 they tried on her princess dresses but we wouldn't have taken them out dressed in them.

Just because you think its cute OP doesn't mean everyone else will. And you have to be prepared for the fact that not everyone will agree with you. As someone else said, whose battle is this?

Like the others have said, I think you're just after a reaction OP, now you've got one you are hardly in a position to moan about it.

Did you not, even for one tiny moment, think that someone might raise an eyebrow or snigger at the sight of a boy in a dress? Really? Not at all?

Either way, you know now that some people will. You've two choices. To accept that it will happen and steer your son towards clothes which won't make him the centre of attention or to accept that it'll happen and get on with it, aware that it might make him upset if he realises who the laughter is aimed at.

I don't understand why a child of either sex would be wearing a dressing up outfit on the school run. I've never been accustomed to anything other than, "It's time to take the Snow White/Spiderman outfit off now and put on your clothes, we've got to pick your sister up soon".

My views would be that it wasn't quite appropriate for the school run but you're correct that I wouldn't be quite as lip-curly about it.

Why? All sorts of reasons. Firstly because girls have, for some time now, been able to wear clothing traditionally seen as male without raising eyebrows. This is largely because 'male' clothing is based around comfort, practicality and so forth - women's clothing, traditional female clothing, is just about looking attractive. For a boy to wear a girls dress, it is relaying the message 'I want to look like a girl' not 'I want to be Spider-Man.'

After all, elsa's dress is lovely but not practical, is it? :) Even when building ice castles.

I accept I probably need to let it go

OP my son would love to hang out with yours!

I think once my dd wore her Spider-Man outfit out to Sainsburys when she was about 3. I was a bit uncomfortable but I went with it. She did get a few stares of course but it didn't really bother me much in the end. I think I was uncomfortable because she was in fancy dress pure and simple.

I have a ds too and know a huge amount of boys, and I have never ever once seen a boy in a dress out and about. As part of a dressing-up box session at friends sometimes but never out. I live in an vibrant, modern large city. I find it hard to believe it's so normal on MN.

Just one last question before I wrestle him out of 'the dress'

What an over reaction! I had to laugh at your DH's comment "thick" given he's judging others who have judged what your son is wearing.

Personally, no, I would never take any of my children out in dress up outfits. The reason being partly due to the climate where I live and for the fact I decide what they wear at such a young age. If you don't want him to to have attention drawn to him don't let him out in a dress, it's simple.

A man got on the bus this morning wearing a dress, leggings, kitten heels and carrying a handbag. Clearly male but dressed as a woman. I certainly didn't laugh or point and nor did anyone else. I'm sure this person gets plenty of abuse and mockery out and about but that doesn't make it ok.

A very typically 'boyish' boy at my son's preschool made a beeline for the pink high heels in the dressing up box eve party day. He just loved them. None of the other 3 or 4 year olds laughed at him.

My 4yo son definitely doesn't want to wear dresses but he doesn't need to be taught to laugh at anyone who does. They're so small, I don't understand why anyone cares.

OP my little boy wears an Anna dress, and the worst comments he gets are from my sister.....who is a primary school teacher and teaches P2, God help them. She nearly had a fit when she saw him wearing a pink hair clip. She said these things are not for boys. I told her I will teach my children about society norms and 'rules', so they will understand it is society that has the problem, not them, for whatever choices they make. I believe some rather dopey people have a problem with boys dressed as girls because they see girls' things as beneath boys, and something to be mocked. Well, fuck that!

I think the parents are twats. If your son wants to wear the dress, let him wear the dress. Give them a Paddington hard stare and fuck the lot of them.

every day not eve party. Weird typo!

Gender prejudice does exist, but so does racism, doesn't mean we should pander to it. My dd is ginger and has had kids shout ginger knob etc at her in the street, I'm not going to force her to wear a hat to hide it. She now knows that some people are ignorant morons who are best ignored.
If kids want to dress up on the dull as shit school run, more power to them. They're only little once.

PS all those saying they never/hardly ever see children out in dressing-up outfits –I live in a small-kid-heavy area and it is hoaching with children of both genders in their superhero outfits/princess frocks/magic wands.

Any boy over the age of 3 wearing a dress looks ridiculous. At two it would be cute, at 4 it would just make the poor kid look odd. Yes, a little girl would get the same reaction if she wore a boys costume. If you want your son to be ridiculed, perhaps because you feel you are doing some sort of social justice or challenging social norms, then let him wear a dress in public. If not, then stop being an attention seeking idiot and let him wear more appropriate clothing.

Oh, put a sock in it, spud.

PS all those saying they never/hardly ever see children out in dressing-up outfits

I bet all the boys aren't dressed as Elsa though.

I know lots of little girls who wear princess dresses at every available opportunity. So what?

I know some little boys who do. So what?

OP - I agree with your DH.

How is wearing fancy dress on a school run - long dress/tail/whatever - in any way practical anyway? I wouldn't let my children wear fancy dress 'out', it's for play and it's not suitable for walking fairly smartly in.

Oh, I meant to say wrt the cross-dressing pets in I saw this morning - those who say they find a little boy in a dress 'ridiculous' or 'distasteful', do you feel the same about adults who cross-dress? Do you think prejudice against cross-dressers, transvestites or transsexuals is an acceptable prejudice? Do you find Eddie Izzard offensive or an object of derision?

A little boy wearing a dress likely isn't any of the above, just a kid playing like kids do.I understand why people may find double standards annoying eg the idea that girls shouldn't like pink and boys should, but if a kid wants to wear fancy dress and role play a character, why on earth does it have to be their own gender? My son has no superpowers but he dresses up as Spider-Man all the time. How is it different to play at being Elsa?

Cross dressing pets?

Must put a frozen collar on male cat ...

cross dressing person not pet. My male cat never wears a dress. That's a different thread. I need to learn to proof read.