To think it's wrong to say someone's attractive....."for their age"

[Songlark]

I hear it said a lot about older women. Comments like "for her age she's quite attractive" or "she's good looking for her age".
I just think the age bit is irrelevant. If someone is attractive, they're attractive, why add the "for her age" bit on.

Drives me nuts!!! You look amazing...... for your age. I find it really patronising. I wouldn't say that to someone I'd just tell them they look gorgeous.

Isn't it more to do with them looking after themselves?

Are you not allowed to say someone looks young for their age? That's a compliment isn't it?

Oh really? I think I'm guilty of this then. I even say it about myself if I get compliments.

YANBU

And why say someone looks 'young for their age'? What does 40, 45, 50, 60 (and so on) look like?

I have no idea. I will just add it to the ever growing list of things that must not be done/said I think.

No I think it kind of infers that older people aren't normally attractive. That's my take on it anyway, perhaps I'm wrong, but why on earth should age come in to it.

Sorry to baffle you Sparkling

Yup, drives me wild too. Why is it a compliment?

'You look good' is perfectly sufficient.

Yep Sparkling another thing MN has taught us not to utter. I would have thought it a nice thing to say, but oh well.

It's ok Songlark, it's my usual state lately.

TBF I am sure nobody ever says 'You look good for your age' to a person's face do they?

I don't think you would say it to someone's face Floisme. To them you would say "You look good" I agree to add ......"for your age" would be not so great.

Well I've had it said to me.

I suppose it's like, 'you look slim...for your size'.

Oh but they do Bowlersarm I promise you I'm afraid they catch the rough end of my tongue.

Yabu and I think trying very hard to be offended. I think it's a compliment.

Are you allowed to say they have 'a picture in the attic' or is that a no no?

at trying hard to be offended If only I had to try....

I've had it said to me. I'd just take you look great today I allways feel it's a but compliment.

Well then I agree with you OP and Flo! I think it's rude to say it to someone's face; but a compliment if you're talking about someone. Assuming you know the age of the person you are talking about.

Or doesn't that make sense . I'm confusing myself now

Why is it a bad thing though? I think Honor Blackman looks great at, or 'for' 89, but I'm sure even she would agree she doesn't look quite as good as she did 50 years ago.

Do people really not get it?

I was thinking about Honor Blackman too, she seems to epitomise the phrase.

I am never speaking to anyone ever again in case I am offending.

It's usually younger men that say it.

I don't like the 'for her age' add on either.
By the way I don't often hear this statement applied for men. They're just called attractive.