Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

to have this baby (don't flame me please)

150 replies

wanderthroughthedaisies · 13/04/2015 12:03

I'm nearly 33. Have been pregnant twice previously; first one was adopted, second one I terminated at 8 weeks.

No family. No partner.

On the plus side I'm financially okay - not rich but won't get anything in benefits (apart from child benefit.)

what do you think?

OP posts:

lionheart · 13/04/2015 12:06

Why do you think people will flame you?

SylvaniansAtEase · 13/04/2015 12:06

Go for it - and good luck. You'll be fine. If you are pregnant and want the baby, there is no discussion to be had. It is entirely up to you and the right decision is the one which you are at peace with - no other consideration is as important.

Lottapianos · 13/04/2015 12:07

No flaming here

Why do you want to have this baby?

ShesAStar · 13/04/2015 12:08

Of course you should have your baby if you want to. You have every right that every one else has, congratulations!

Partyringer · 13/04/2015 12:08

Why would anyone flame you? Congratulations

DuckChowMein · 13/04/2015 12:09

YANBU to have a baby that you want. I'm also interested to know why you think you'll get flamed for this?

DuckChowMein · 13/04/2015 12:10

Oh and congratulations

Bluestocking · 13/04/2015 12:10

Of course you should have this baby! Babies need a stable, happy family, but a single parent and their baby can be just as stable and happy as any other family. Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and a straightforward birth.

waithorse · 13/04/2015 12:10

Why would you be flamed ? Good luck.

Invizicat · 13/04/2015 12:11

Can I ask if your circumstances have changed from the previous two times you were pregnant? If you are in a different situation and you want this baby then that's an enormous positive. But if some of the circumstances that led you to your previous choices are still affecting your life, you will need to think through carefully how things will be different.

Lavenderice · 13/04/2015 12:12

It depends on the issues surrounding your child being adopted and your termination. If your baby was removed by Social Services and you haven't addressed any of the issues then YABU. If it was your decision and you feel capable now then go for it.

DoJo · 13/04/2015 12:13

Do you WANT this baby? Because that's more important than the outcomes of any past pregnancies.

Original poster

wanderthroughthedaisies · 13/04/2015 12:14

it was my decision (I was only 15 when I had her.) I had the termination when I was still young, though in my twenties that time. I was trying for a baby because I wanted mine back then I realised I was being silly.

I thought I'd be flamed as the baby will have no brothers or sisters (well birth sister somewhere but 18 years older than him or her) no grandparents, no cousins, no dad, just me.

OP posts:

Lavenderice · 13/04/2015 12:17

Good grief, then YANBU! You appear to have made some very sensible choices in your past and I'm sure you want this baby for the right reasons. Good luck, and congrats!

Invizicat · 13/04/2015 12:18

Go for it!

BarbarianMum · 13/04/2015 12:19

I think you should do what feels right to you. Can't see why that shouldn't include having this baby. In terms of support, friends can work as well (or better than) family.

AnyFucker · 13/04/2015 12:19

congratulations on your pregnancy

maplebaconchips · 13/04/2015 12:19

The baby only really needs you. Congratulations and good luck.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 13/04/2015 12:19

It is your choice entirely, but you must go into it fully aware of the consequences for you both, and not just because you want a baby. Becoming a mum is lifechanging for anyone. But being a single parent with no family support network is an amazingly tough job. Do you have friends with kids? at some point you are going to need help when you or the child is ill, or you are delayed at work etc, what will you do for childcare? the long school holidays? When you say you are OK financially, will that stay the same when you have the baby and as it grows up - remember a baby is for life. And is a big expense!

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/04/2015 12:24

of course Yanbu.

Please, don't let decisions you made because you felt it was best at the time, in the past, make you feel you shouldn't do something now, years later.

DuckChowMein · 13/04/2015 12:25

What PHANTO said. The baby only needs you but you may need some support.

Only1scoop · 13/04/2015 12:26

Of course yanbu

Congratulations

GlitzAndGigglesx · 13/04/2015 12:26

No one will flame you we've all made choices in the past that were right at the time. Good luck with everything!

Original poster

wanderthroughthedaisies · 13/04/2015 12:29

I don't really have a lot of support. I do have friends but most of us are pretty dysfunctional - I don't mean in a taking drugs/breaking the law sense, just that we've all been in the habit of randomly moving house or going to India for a month or suddenly moving to Wales - I make us sound a very strange bunch don't I!?

I'm okay financially, not rich at all but I do own a property which is good.

don't know about childcare or anything like that. I don't know is the honest answer to all that. I didn't plan this, in case anyone wondered - I think there must have been something strange happening with my contraception.

OP posts:

FeelTheNoise · 13/04/2015 12:31

Congratulations
Your baby sounds very loved and wanted! So many of us single parents are bloody brilliant, and make amazing children. Look out for me on the Pregnancy section!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread