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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my apologies. .I genuinely would like to talk about body image and contradictions on mumsnet

143 replies

sorenoggin · 12/04/2015 00:23

Seems my last post was misunderstood so am trying again.

Why is it okay on mums net and in real life for people to make jokes and disparaging remarks about men with small penises?

We would never condone a man slating or laughing at a woman's genitals on here so why is it okay the other way round?

Read this for the reality of what it is like for a man with a smaller penis and the huge emotional impact it has on his life

ughsocialjustice.com/post/107849865308/small-dicks-are-part-of-body-positivity
I Guess I just want to remind everyone that every time you laugh or joke about 'ignore him, he probably got a small dick ' you are adding to the pain of probably someone you know :(

OP posts:
Zucker · 12/04/2015 00:27

uhm ookkkkkkkayyyyyy can't say as I've ever had such a chat with my gal pals, but it takes all sorts I suppose.

shouldnthavesaid · 12/04/2015 00:27

I completely agree with you and I think most sensible people would.

shirleybasseyslovechild · 12/04/2015 00:29

I am not sure it happens that often on MN , but yes,I've seen it and it's pretty mean

cleanmyhouse · 12/04/2015 00:30

You're right, it shouldn't be condoned, but you went about it in the worst possible way.

Original poster
sorenoggin · 12/04/2015 00:31

I have read 3 comments on different threads just tonight joking about it and have 2 texts off my otherwise lovely, tactful friends this week making a joke about it and also heard jokes on TV and in the media generally..its everywhere

OP posts:
ouryve · 12/04/2015 00:32

I think I've seen more threads complaining about digs at small penises, on mumsnet, than I have seen actual digs at small penises.

That could be because I don't search for such topics of conversation, though.

ThatBloodyWoman · 12/04/2015 00:32

Totally agree with the point you're making,op.

Hakluyt · 12/04/2015 00:33

Men, and society in general, say deeply unpleasant things about women's bodies all the time and nobody objects.

The "small dick" comment is a commonly used expression to describe a particular type of overly aggressive man. The implication is that they are compensating for deficiencies in other areas. If you think women are agressive to compensate for a deficiency in the size of their labia, then feel free to try to get the idiom adopted into common speech.

Original poster
sorenoggin · 12/04/2015 00:33

Clean my house - why? I was going for a shock tactic because I honestly see my analogy as the same thing? Is it because I used the 'l' word?

People do reverse posts on here all the time...why was that so bad?

Not being stroppy..genuinely asking.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/04/2015 00:35

I agree totally OP.

Time and again I've heard women say "Oh he probably drives a flash car because he has a small dick".

The equivalent would be that a woman "Has a hole like a bucket", yet I don't think I've ever heard a man say that's why a woman drives a flash car.

If you're going to put someone down, then do it because of their actions/personality.

Not because of their body.

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2015 00:36

Men, and society in general, say deeply unpleasant things about women's bodies all the time and nobody objects.

Nobody??

Original poster
sorenoggin · 12/04/2015 00:36

Hakluyt - of course I don't think that..It was an analogy

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 12/04/2015 00:37

They are not making jokes about small penises.

They are making jokes about men who act in an uber powerful, aggressive, alpha male way to intimidate women.

And they're saying that men are doing this to compensate for having tiny penises as they're unable to cope with any inadequacy.

Personally I'd rather focus my energies on the aggressive, nasty, intimidating and mysoginistic behaviour that's carried out before someone says a slight insult.

But you go ahead, fill your boots. Focus on the two word insult 'tiny penis' when it's said as shorthand for 'this guy screamed in my face and called me a cunt because I may have cut him up on the road'.

shouldnthavesaid · 12/04/2015 00:38

Don't know what the size of labia has to do with it - guess I am missing a th3ad - but if it's any consolation I have experienced 'jokes' about that too and I remember being laughed at when getting changes for PE etc. It's not a problem that only affects men iyswim.

EatShitDerek · 12/04/2015 00:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

reni1 · 12/04/2015 00:39

You did not go for shock tactic, you went for sexism to fight sexism. Would you use islamophobia to fight antisemitism?

I agree with your sentiment re: small dick comment. It is on the rare side in my life, but no less offensive of course..

cleanmyhouse · 12/04/2015 00:39

I can't even remember your wording, but it came accross as an attempt to get a reaction and offend, not start a discussion.

I can see the point you're trying to make, but your delivery was poor.

Women face body shaming every single day in every setting. Women are constantly reduced to nothing more than body parts or functions to be commented on by men. While i get the point you're trying to make, my sympathy levels on this one are fairly low.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/04/2015 00:41

And also they tend to say 'tiny penis/small cock' rather than 'micro penis' the actual condition - because clearly it's meant to insult someone who's been aggressive rather than someone with an actual medical condition.

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2015 00:42

And they're saying that men are doing this to compensate for having tiny penises as they're unable to cope with any inadequacy.

Then maybe they should say that instead of going for the lazy, cheap body jibe? Confused

It can't be nice for all the lovely, decent men who do actually have a small penis.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/04/2015 00:44

But it's usually said in a supportive way on here as shorthand instead of a long supportive paragraph about the behaviour.

Like the emoticons of flowers

Hakluyt · 12/04/2015 00:44
EatShitDerek · 12/04/2015 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/04/2015 00:46

And yes it's a jibe, but it's a jibe about someone not here on the thread - and in response to someone who's just had a crap thing happen to them

A bit like 'there, there. That's crap, what a wanker, he probably had a tiny cock, sorry you've had a bad day'.

alrayyan · 12/04/2015 00:46

Haven't read whole thread but wanted to add that on here if someone votes conservative or drives a 4x4 it seems ok to say anything you like, nothings off limits. sad really. I have definitely heard that said in both of the above scenarios many times.

I may sometimes comment that someone has no balls (because there are some majorly wimpy partners on here) but never occurred to me to use dick size as an insult any more than calling someone big nose to.prove a point.

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2015 00:47

Some weird body shaming apologist replies here

I think your first thread came across in totally the wrong way OP, but I still understood what you're trying to say.

We might as well give up all intelligent reasoning and debate, and just declare that he or she (whoever is in the wrong) is a fat bastard.

It boils down to the same, lazy kind of insult instead of reasoned debate about behaviour.

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