To think children should give up their seats for adults

[BeeInYourBonnet]

And their parents should encourage them to.

Especially when they are young enough to sit on their parents laps.

My don doesn't give his teachers a hard time (on the contrary) and doesn't shout abuse at police officers.

Son, even.

I don't live in Cambridge or Oxford. :)

Maybe not your son - and obviously many other sons or daughters, but this is an increased problem.

YANBU.

YANBU.

YANBU.

YANBU.

Could you just clarify what you are saying gold. I'm not sure I'm getting the message

It may be an increasing problem, but certainly not because children are not expected to give up seats for adults. :)
I thought that was what the thread was about.

If I've paid for seats for my dh, my dc or my DM or even dmil, they sit on the seats I have paid for.
Alternatively if I have got to an event before other people and the bums are on the seats, it's not my problem!
However if you are elderly, disabled, or pregnant, you may ask and I may be prepared to give you my seat ( if you ask nicely else you can fuck off!!)!

When I read threads like this it makes me think of all those children in the past who were abused by adults they were told to respect just because they were adults.

Things have changed for the better.

Dittoing Lweji.

I think if you are looking for a reason the culture of children yelling abuse at police and not listening to teachers exsists, you are looking in the completely wrong place.

'it does go back to the days that said adults are more important, adults get priority'

Well I think adults should get priority when it comes to seats on trains and buses. If child can sit on your lap to let an adult sit down, they should. Adults usually need seats more as they are more likely to suffer from health conditions (including age-related problems) that make standing difficult. As for older children, it's good for them to stand up sometimes and realise the world does not revolve around them! Showing respect for elders used to be the norm... now many children are encouraged to put themselves first and not think about people around them. Lots of kids are lazy and self-absorbed and likely to tantrum if asked to give something up for an adult. Is your child's comfort on train really so important that you would make a frail elderly person stand, or a pregnant woman stand, or deny the seat to someone who is feeling faint?

I didn't say you shouldn't give child an explanation for giving up seat. You can easily teach them why they might need to give up seat sometimes. You can teach them some adults have difficulty standing up if they old or unwell or unsteady on feet and that we should look out for people who might need seat more than us. On buses I always give up my seat if an elderly person needs one... it's dangerous for an elderly person to try and balance in the aisle on a moving bus. They could easily fall and break something. I get really annoyed when I see ladies my grandma's age standing up yet children taking up seats.

The time on train that I asked a mum if her toddler could sit on her lap, I was minutes away from fainting. I didn't have energy to go into detail about my low blood pressure problem, nor should it be necessary to explain. I was sweating, I felt sick and was carrying heavy bags. When asking for the seat I clearly said 'I need to sit down' and it was obvious to other passengers I was not well as someone offered me their seat at once and someone else asked me if I was ok and did I want some water.
Yes it's possible the mum had a disability but far more likely she was just lazy and entitled, and didn't want to share her space with toddler. I asked politely but she was rude and abrupt.

I think children should absolutely be seated on public transport- I would give up my seat for a child rather than the other way around.

Giving up seats for adults is a small thing that contributes to general respect. You cannot take it in isolation - but it is a small part of a greater problem.

Is your child's comfort on train really so important that you would make a frail elderly person stand, or a pregnant woman stand, or deny the seat to someone who is feeling faint?

Who ever said that? FGS.

Just in relation to a normal fit adult.

Most people, including adults, not only children should give up seats for those who actually need them.
What OP is arguing is that children should automatically give seats to ANY adult. because they may have a hidden disability, like she does, but children never have hidden or otherwise disabilities

Is your child's comfort on train really so important that you would make a frail elderly person stand, or a pregnant woman stand, or deny the seat to someone who is feeling faint?

When has anyone ever said that

Are you suggesting we all just offer any random person a seat on the off chance they are pregant or have problems standing or a hidden disability? Should we all offer any random child a seat on the off chance they have a hidden disability? And thats the reason my child, who was there first needs to move? What if the adults perfectly health and just "entitled". No, I think I will offer mine or my childs seat to anyone who visibly needs one, and anybody who needs one but not visibly obvious can ask for one and i'll gladly move.

And for the record, fainted all the time when I was pregnant, i found saying "I think I'm going to faint" makes able bodied people move faster than light to help you out, make sure you're sitting down or that they've caught you in the nick of time. But I can't remember ever directing my announcements at lone parents with toddlers strangely enough

Saying please and thank you, holding doors for those who walk in behind you, giving way at narrow points, waiting for your turn, and so on, are small things that contribute to general respect.
Giving up a seat to someone who clearly needs it or asks for it politely is a small thing that contributes to general respect.
Giving up a seat just because one is a child and the other an adult, is not.

'teaching them to blindly do whatever adults tell you to do because an adult says so and because adults are more important'

I disagree with this. You are only teaching them to blindly obey adults if you don't explain reasons behind giving up seats. Providing your child is able-bodied, why not explain (prior to journey) that although they can comfortably stand up or sit on floor, many adults can't. Explain that lots of people (especially older people like grandma) have pain in their hips/knees/feet, find it harder to balance than children, and might fall over. Explain that some ladies might be pregnant and feeling faint/sick, and that other adults might have heavy bags of shopping or have been on their feet all day at work. Encourage your child to identify when someone is looking exhausted/unwell/desperate to sit down. Children can be very perceptive, kind and sensitive to others... we need to encourage this behaviour not suppress it.

We must agree to disagree

I teach that to my child.
AND lead by example, by giving up my seat first, not expecting the weaker person of the two to do it (him).

No able bodied adult should be sitting down in a chair if they can avoid it. Standing is much better for your health and fitness. Sitting on the floor is better for joints and flexibility.

Youth crime has been on the decline for years so whoever mooted the hypothesis about not standing for adults leading to Criminal Behaviour (LOL!!!) needs to think up a new one.

Why do the YANBU arguments keep dredging up the idea of the person wanting the seat being frail, elderly, disabled or pregnant? Nobody is arguing that these people shouldn't have priority in terms of seating it can only be because your arguments are nonsensical without reference to this. Seriously what does this even mean As for older children, it's good for them to stand up sometimes and realise the world does not revolve around them! Showing respect for elders used to be the norm... now many children are encouraged to put themselves first and not think about people around them. Lots of kids are lazy and self-absorbed and likely to tantrum if asked to give something up for an adult it's the (fit, able - because that's the only disputed issue) adult who has an expectation that a child should move out of their seat and stand up in order to accommodate them who needs to learn to check their sense of entitlement, laziness and self absorption.

that other adults might have heavy bags of shopping or have been on their feet all day at work.
Or sitting at a desk and it's good for them to stand up.

If I have paid for a seat for anyone be it a child, a baby, a dig, my dmil, I expect them to sit on said seat. End of!!