To think children should give up their seats for adults

[BeeInYourBonnet]

And their parents should encourage them to.

Especially when they are young enough to sit on their parents laps.

'Exactly when do I get a turn?'

You're entitled to a 'turn'? Get over yourself.

'Give it another 15 years and you'll realise why all the middle aged women are giving your seated children cats bum faces.'

I'm middle-aged myself. No cat's bum faces about seated children. They have as much right to sit down as I have. I am not disabled or infirm.

'Now there's a generation of parents who want to turn back the tide. This causes resentment among those who spent their youth giving up seats and now they want to change the rules?'

And it's only supposed to be children who are juvenile. 'Waa! It's my turn now! So unfair!'

There were never any 'rules'.

If that's what causes 'resentment', that says more about how petty the person is than anything else.

well both of mine have hypermobility and standing causes them pain.

one has asd and if you take his seat, well it would not end well and there is likely to be collateral damage.

I also have hypermobile hips so being sat upon for any length of time hurts too.

looking at us though you would not be able to tell any of this.

I don't know where you grew up Ex-Pat, but I can assure you there were most definitely 'rules' here. It was called 'good manners'.

Well said expatinscotland and I haven't heard any good reasons as to why there should be blanket rules for children giving up seats. "because it's always been done that way" is a really crap justification for 'rules' to continue, think of what the accepted 'rules' would have been 50 or 100 years ago, 'children should be seen and not heard' 'spare the rod and spoil the child' etc.

I wish there were more 'children should be seen and not heard' when I'm trying to have a conversation with another adult and we're continually interrupted by someone's little darling.

It's good manners for anyone who can to give up a seat to someone who needs it more.

This children must respect adults stuff is bollocks, seen and not heard etc... This kind of attitude can as we have seen lead to abuse of children. We used to sending out to work, they used to be canned in schools. All sorts of things used to be Ok. But society moves on. I am teaching my kids to offer a seat to those in need and to be aware of others. Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. That's everyone. No magical status is infered to adults.

'I don't know where you grew up Ex-Pat, but I can assure you there were most definitely 'rules' here. It was called 'good manners'.'

Welcome to 2015. The past is . . . just that. I'm so glad, too, for reasons like Peachy pointed out. Whew! Now we can stand up to domestic violence, rape, better recognition and treatment of disability and disabled people, women's rights.

I'm happy to stand now children are treated more as people now then when I was growing up.

Well said 5madthings who could argue with what you've said/how you're raising your children? (someone inevitably will though).

Too right, 5mad.

It's mildly amusing to see posters on a parenting site who despise children.

Well said, 5madthings.

exactly what 5mad said

Yabu. Young children can't reach handlebars to steady themselves and are more likely to fall.

Saying that they should sit on their parents laps only works if their parent has a seat to begin with.

YANBU. It is irritating to see tiny children taking up a seat when they could just as easily sit on their parent's lap.

Orlando

Depends. If I arrived to a public event - eg open event in public bandstand early to get a seat I wouldn't expect my DS to give that seat to someone who arrived minutes before just because hes a child.

On a bus/train etc if we weeds getting off in 5 minutes I would sit DS on my lap or floor. He couldn't stand for long periods on a tran/bus and neither would I expect him to give up his seat - just because he's a child - and stand for an hour. Especially when you don't know the adult boarded will only be travelling for 5 or a few hours either. In the case I felt standing was the right thing to do - elderly, infirm, pregnant, person with young child - then I would stand and lt s have the seat if sitting on my lap wouldn't work. He's 10 yo so it's not practice for a long period of time.

If train/bus is crowded, small kids should sit on parents laps to allow adults to sit.

Unfortunately parents don't like being asked to move their child onto lap to make room for someone else. And unlike asking someone to move their bag, asking to move child is seen as unacceptable by some. So people often don't dare ask.

Once when I'd been standing for 40mins (I have chronically low BP and was starting to feel dizzy and nauseous) I asked a woman if her toddler could sit on her lap as I needed to sit down. She rudely snapped 'No she can't!' Luckily someone else must have realised I looked pale and offered their seat.

I hate seeing young kids taking up seats on packed trains esp when elderly people or pregnant women are standing. Kids don't pay full-fare and don't need a seat to themselves.

Caspian that woman may have been unkind unless there was a reason she couldn't stand or her child couldn't sit on her knee, but as others have said there may be lots of hidden reasons why this may be the case. However a child is a human being and comparing them to a bag on a seat is a bit much and I don't accept the argument that because they don't pay full fare they don't have as much right to a seat, do you think other groups who get concessionary travel have less rights to the seats?

Now there's a generation of parents who want to turn back the tide. This causes resentment among those who spent their youth giving up seats and now they want to change the rules?

Now theres a generation of women who want to turn back the tides and not wear corsets. This causes resentment amongst those who spent their life restricted, struggling to breathe, and damaging their vital organs, and now they want to change the rules?!

Well yes if the rules are stupid what gives a 23 year old footballer any more need of a seat than a 7 year old? We have a rule now where priority is given to those who need it, and anything else is usually first come first serve. Sounds fair to me.

Much easier to stick to a general rule than teach your dcs to do a visual triage of who needs the seat most.

Exactly, teach them that if someone asks them to give up their seat for a valid reason then they should be responsible and do that if the person is in greater need.

I'm not going around with a 'I've just had a hysterectomy' label round my neck.

Who asked you to? If someone said, excuse me could I have your seat as I'm really not able to stand for long, I wouldn't hesitate.

Its much easier for a child to sit on the floor

As we've gathered, not always and not for every child. But regardless shes not a dog and if theres a seat available she will sit on it, unless someone comes along who really can't stand.

Yes you are being unreasonable, very! Why should my children be forced to sit on my lap when I've paid for them a seat on the bus like everyone else.

I travel by train with the madthings quite a bit, am going to Manchester next week, I buy tickets in advance and book seats for myself and the children. If we are going on a five hour train journey as I am next week I am damed if the kids are not getting a seat. I would give up my seat if needed and asked. That's why I pre book and there are priority seats available for those that need them.

' I asked a woman if her toddler could sit on her lap as I needed to sit down. '

Why did you deliberately target a woman with a toddler?

Perhaps because a reasonable person might think a toddler would be small enough to sit on her mother's lap and not need a seat all to herself?

I would have done the same. Much less disruptive to everyone's journey than fainting on the bus.

You can tell by looking at me that I need a seat because I struggle to walk with 2 purple crutches. But still people don't ask their children to move, or sit them on their laps or get up themselves. Instead they sit behind a magazine or their phone and keep their eyes down.

I've been on a crowded bus at Gatwick Airport, toddlers and bags taking up seats, not one selfish fucker moved a child to their lap, stood up or moved a bag until DH very loudly asked who was going to give me a seat.

It's all well and good saying you will stand for disabled people, the edlerly, pregnant women etc but in reality it doesn't happen.

Seats should be available first to those who need them the most - elderly or disabled people, pregnant women, and young children. Just being an adult does not put you in a priority category. Everywhere that I've been, adults have given up their seats for young children as a matter of course. In the case of older children vs adults, neither has priority over the other - it's first come, first served.

As I'm of the generation that younger people (not just small children) stood up for adults, nothing said on here has changed my mind.

I don't think it's unreasonable and I don't think that expecting it means that we go back to the days of sending them up chimneys.