To think children should give up their seats for adults

[BeeInYourBonnet]

And their parents should encourage them to.

Especially when they are young enough to sit on their parents laps.

So we've now jumped from school plays to public transport to family gatherings, all very different scenarios. I think almost everyone has said they would give up their seat if someone else needed it more. There are plenty circumstances where it is safer for a child to be seated and an able bodied adult to stand.
Interesting how people happily approach mothers with young children for seats but not the fit and healthy 25 yr old male a couple of rows back.

I never mentioned 'elders and betters' - that was another poster.
As just mentioned, my own knee issue is by the by.
My view is that DCs are more used (and normally more able) to sit on the floor, or even on parents lap if young enough.
I was NOT talking about public transport or ticketed events, but more informal social situations where seating was limited and there was limited risk (family parties, sports clubs, school assemblies etc).
If the issue is not treating children differently, then I am going to have to start upping my expectations of my DCs as I've decided its my turn to sit around all morning watching TV, playing Minecraft and having food served to me

Interesting how people happily approach mothers with young children for seats but not the fit and healthy 25 yr old male a couple of rows back good point.

My DH offers to help people (often women) with luggage on holiday, always helps carry pushchairs up stairs/escalators. I think I may need to advise him to stop.

You are really doing your best to come across in the worst possible light, aren't you?
Are you really this dim?

Your DH, and anyone, should always offer to help anyone, regardless of gender, when they obviously may need it. Such as with luggage, pushchairs, etc.
If he offered to help a normal walking person carrying nothing to climb the stairs, he'd certainly be met with a raised eyebrow at least.

'Do we really have to turn every discussion into a hidden disability debate.
Yes, there will be some people with hidden issues, but the majority of people won't have a hidden disability.'

And yet, you brought up yours to try to make yourself be right. Funny, that.

Lets just be thankful that times have changed and we're a bit more against doing things because its the done thing or because an "elder and better" tells you to, and we actually teach children rational thought and to think for themselves.

I also remember the days of "give your uncle a kiss and cuddle, no come on give him a cuddle goodbye" and not listening when a child said they didn't want to.

And thankfully most people now know how wrong that was, and that children should be free to decide wether on not they want to be touched by anyone.

Just as they should be able to decide wether they'd like to give up their seat for someone who has no more need of it than they do. And I wouldn't judge them for choosing not to as I wouldn't either.

Well i guess i must be unreasonable to expect children to give adults seating preference, going by the majority of responses on this thread. But i think I'll just stick with Nanny0gg and the few others on the thread who were in agreement, and continue reinforcing good manners and thoughtfulness into my DCs. But I guess I will face facts that in the majority of cases it won't be reciprocated. Hey ho.

'Interesting how people happily approach mothers with young children for seats but not the fit and healthy 25 yr old male a couple of rows back.'

This. Seems to commonly be the case. Interesting, indeed.

Maybe next time I'll ask to sit on the fit 25yo males lap. Everyone's a winner!

I think it's a bit much to say that the people who have disagreed with you won't be reinforcing good manners and thoughtfulness in their DC, it's just that we don't consider blind deference to adults to be part of that.

'But i think I'll just stick with Nanny0gg and the few others on the thread who were in agreement, and continue reinforcing good manners and thoughtfulness into my DCs.'

Of course, only you and those who agree with you are right. Naturally. No one else's children have good manners and are thoughful .

Hahaha, it's because I put such an empasis on thoughtfulness that I so completely disagree with you!!

Telling them to move for an adult isn't teaching them to think is it??

No its teaching them to blindly do whatever adults tell you to do because an adult says so and because adults are more important than you.

I'm sorry thats not thoughtfulness, thats a bloody recipe for disaster engraining that message into children but thats my opinion and we clearly disagree.

Well I think there ought to be a campaign for either teachers to join the kids on the floor in assemblies, or for all the kids to have chairs. Or maybe it should be on a first come, first served basis, after all that would only be fair, wouldn't it?...

No wonder so many precious little snowflakes are being created.

Well if you want to teach your dc that they're 2nd class citizens and their needs and wants aren't important that's your prerogative I guess. Let's just hope they don't take that ethos into their adult relationships.

Bee YANBU, it's common manners.

Teachers are authority figures in a school environment, some random adult at the swimming or on a bus is not.

Perhaps that is the reason for the general lack of respect for adults nowadays.

I'm not advocating the overriding of personal boundaries and keeping themselves safe. But a lot of kids have no respect for teachers, the police and adults in general. Even in some cases, their own parents. They ignore anyone who demands something they don't want to do. It is contributing to entitlement as there is no respect for adults in general. Perhaps this teaching the kids that their needs and wants are more important than other adults, is partially to blame.

And anyway putting kids on your knee is allowing more people to sit down, whether those other people are kids or adults.

Perhaps some of you Mnetters counterbalance this by teaching respect in general, but a lot of the population don't.

YABU
If you're not disabled or pregnant, you can stand.

Banana What do you mean by general lack of respect for adults nowadays? If you mean my child won't give you their seat unless you're disabled or pregnant then its no more disrepectful than me refusing to give up my seat. I don't look upon a full bus of adults as disrespecting me because they don't scramble overthemselves to offer their seats to me, do you?

And somehow I don't think teachers and the police can be lumped in with "adults in general". Teachers and police are figures of authority with training and experience, "adults in general" are anyone and my "little snowflakes" don't owe them respect just because they have been on this planet longer. They should be respectful of them because its right to respect everyone in terms of being sypathetic to their needs, polite, etc, but if you think respect means listen blindly to what they say and do what you're told then I'm sorry, not happening. If you can't give a valid reason why they should, then why should they? Children have just as much of a right to withdraw their respect in the same sense adults can.

And thats not teaching kids that their needs and wants are more important than adults, thats teaching kids to grow up independantly and free-thinking imo. To be mindful of other peoples needs and wants while remebering there own too. I think thats the definition of mutual respect, as respect always should be mutual. Telling them they must do what an adult says for no good reason other than they're an adult, well thats idocy imo not respect.

When I was a child I had a horse riding accident which moved my hips out of place and was in constant pain until I was about 18. I looked like a perfectly healthy child, I could walk and run fairly well although not for too long, but sitting on a hard floor would have had me in agony, and standing for long wasnt possible. Nevertheless even adults who knew about my injuries would make me stand for them because I was a child and they were older, even when they were perfectly able bodied and wouldnt have been in pain like I was. I would never assume a child needed a seat any less than me. Children can be suffering from many of the same invisible disabilities as an adult and they are less able to stick up for themselves.

If you needed to sit down so badly why didnt you just ask, instead of expecting children to have the same sensitivity to a situation as an adult might have.

Bee YANBU, it's common manners.

As in manners that are common?

My DS is respectful of adults as he is of children too. In the same way that he is (and expected to be) respected.

I find that, usually, adults that are not respectful of children are very much not respectful of other adults as well.

And thats why teachers have such a hard time and why the police have youngsters yelling abuse at them. They are not respected as they were, which is to the detriment of society. Yes kids shouldn't blindly do as all adults say, but little things like respect for adults by giving up seats, all add up to general respect and regard. It's a tiny thing that contributes to the general disregard for authority, and whilst for some people this is not a problem as they teach respect in other ways, it is obvious that this is the thin end of the wedge for an increasing number of society.

The kids that refuse to do what they are told at school (or who contribute to the increased "low level disruption") may be thought to be independant and free thinking. To the teachers and the other kids who can't learn because of it, it may be described as differently.

Maybe next time I'll ask to sit on the fit 25yo males lap.

Again, either you are a WUP or drunk, or idiotic.