Aibu - holiday childcare?

[AnnField]

DD is 14. Her dad and his parents have her every weekend and around half of all school holidays. Her dad has said he can't take any time off during July or August this year but will take DD every weekend as usual and speak to his parents about having her a day or two each week. I think if he can't do it his girlfriend should take leave and look after DD as DD is bored during the holidays at my house. AIBU?

X post!

So the mother wants to have her child less than half of each week?

OP - do you live with your partner? As per my earlier post; I do think it's something that you and he should discuss, rather than leave it all up to him. Presumably you accepted his family when you accepted him?

I hate reverses. They should be banned.

Well done OP But you'll get your arse handed to you now because MNers HATE reverse threads.

Yeah, her mother sounds like a peach, but couldn't you have her anyway - not providing childcare, just letting her stay at yours/DPs whilst you and your DP are at work. She really shouldn't need looking after.

Ahh a reverse. No no no.

I have absolutely no problem spending time with DSD and the care provided for her by her mum is none of my business, though all of the comments I've attributed to her have actually been made by her and I wouldn't be human if those comments didn't colour my judgement a little. I just don't see why DSD has to be constantly entertained at the age of 14 or why I am being volunteered to do it!

OP - do you live with your partner? As per my earlier post; I do think it's something that you and he should discuss, rather than leave it all up to him. Presumably you accepted his family when you accepted him?

Except the father of the girl will be providing childcare for half of the school holidays. So no need for the girlfriend to take time off.

I don't see what you have achieved with a "reverse AIBU" that you couldn't have discovered by just, you know, asking the question.

because youre a woman. childcare is your thing.

I don't mind a reverse. Lets be honest you only ever get one persons point of view anyway. Anyone posting can put a spin on it, because that's how they see the situation. Everyone's posts are slightly biased.

DD needs to be kept entertained or she will be bored

No she doesn't. She really doesn't.

OP... I think the way you've worded your posts make you sound gleeful, bitter and harsh.. probably some backstory to the situation I imagine.

If the scenario was re-worded like this from her mother (ie - if your reverse OP hadn't been slanted in your words):

I have a 14 year old DD. She doesn't need babysitting during the school hols, but does need occupying / an adult in the approximate vicinity as I don't want to leave her from 8 - 6 all day whilst I work.

My ex has said he can't have her at all at his house during July and August but would see if his mum and dad could have her for a couple of days, but spending the time with Gran & Grandad isn't really ideal. Her Step Mum has step children and she likes to hang out at his house - otherwise she's an only child at my house.

AIBU to think that my ex and his new family should try and be a little more accommodating, rather than putting a blanket statement out that 'school hols are off limits'

Personally I think you're punishing your step daughter because you've got an issue with her mother.

Have her at your house if she's happy there and no problem... why wouldn't you?

I think you need to have a chat with your DP.

Decide what you think is appropriate support/parenting/taxi driver role for your dsd during the hols.
Let your dsd know what would be the arrangement.
Check with your dsd that she is happy to come to your house and take her in.
Do not engange with the ex on what the arrangements are. You have your way to deal with things, she has hers. That's it.

Note: You in this context is you and your partner of course.

but actually OP - for what its worth - what a piece of work you are.

Coming on an internet forum to gleefully put a reverse OP like that so hundreds of people can say "yes, what a bitch she is to want you to look after her daughter" means that I wouldn't ever want my daughter anywhere near you.

TBF it was formerbabe who first mentioned reverse on post 3.

Haha busted by LtEve - this is a reverse.

I asked if you were the girlfriend in post 8 and formerbabe called it in post 2. It was blatantly obvious.

Op doesn't have kids. If the kid wants to hang out at her dads I'd say why not, but I wouldn't expect anyone to take leave over the summer to just be there to stop her getting bored.

I'm a SM and I really didn't get involved with childcare, that's down to the parents, unless emergencies or I happened to be around.

I am sorry for the reverse - I didn't realise they were so frowned upon. But having seen how any kind of step parenting issue is usually treated I was trying to avoid it being from my PoV. I also realise I'll probably be flamed for mentioning step parenting when I'm only the live in girlfriend of 2 years.... I'm only getting involved with this one because it does involve me!

DP and his family (including me) will already be providing childcare for almost half of the holidays. No leave needs to be taken because we have our half sorted.

alternative

bbcessex have you read the thread?

The mother doesn't work during the week and the father is having the DD 2 days per week and arranged childcare for another 1/2 days per week. So half of the holidays. School holidays are also not off limits as they are taking the dd away in october holidays.

The OP did a reverse because step parents tend to get a hard time on here.

Essex because the parents think she needs supervising and op isn't able to do that any more than her other half