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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu - holiday childcare?

167 replies

AnnField · 11/04/2015 09:56

DD is 14. Her dad and his parents have her every weekend and around half of all school holidays. Her dad has said he can't take any time off during July or August this year but will take DD every weekend as usual and speak to his parents about having her a day or two each week. I think if he can't do it his girlfriend should take leave and look after DD as DD is bored during the holidays at my house. AIBU?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 11/04/2015 10:23

I don't see why he should ask his girlfriend either. Your expectations of her are beyond entitled. And your daughter is old enough to entertain herself responsibly.

Littlemonstersrule · 11/04/2015 10:23

Her dad needs to do more with her yet it's you that sends her off to anybody willing to have her Hmm

No wonder she prefers to be at her dads.

exLtEveDallasNoBollocks · 11/04/2015 10:23

So she's bored. Life isn't that exciting. Maybe she could look for a job, babysitting, dog walking, glass collecting? Volunteer for a charity? Get off her arse and find something to do.

If he has her for 2 days out of every 7 he is doing something.

shewept · 11/04/2015 10:25

So let her hang around his house. I don't see why she needs to take time off. You don't work during the week and his parents might be having her 2 days per week. So she may only be with you 3 days a week during the week when you aren't working. So that is over half of each week.

I don't see why the girlfriend should have to take annual leave tbh.

ilovesooty · 11/04/2015 10:25

She needs to be encouraged to do more than sit on her arse playing online games and expecting to be entertained. What's your role in that?

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 11/04/2015 10:26

So during the holidays her dad will have her two days a week, his parents will have her two days a week. That leaves three days.

Why between you and your parents can you not cover that? Why arent you doing any of the days yourself? Why cant she just slob out at your/your folks house?

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 11/04/2015 10:26

Well yabu, so you can think you're not all you like. It is not the girl friends responsibility to look after her.

shewept · 11/04/2015 10:26

She is 14 she needs to learn to cope with being bored.

DelphiniumBlue · 11/04/2015 10:27

You are joking,right?

TenerifeSea · 11/04/2015 10:30

Doesn't she want to hang around with her friends? My 14 year old likes to have shopping days, go out for meals and cinema etc with me in the holidays but her main focus is seeing her friends. She needs to learn to entertain herself a wee bit, she's 14 not 4!

shewept · 11/04/2015 10:30

Why do you want to spend less than 3/4 days per week with your dd? If you aren't working its a great opportunity to spend time with her.

How much annual leave are you taking?

exLtEveDallasNoBollocks · 11/04/2015 10:31

Here's a thought, if you can't take time off, why don't you ask your DP rather than your Ex's DP. I mean, you seem to spend enough time with his 13 year old DD, why doesn't he return the favour this summer?

Sorted.

bananayellow · 11/04/2015 10:31

Surely at 14 she gets a say in this? It's unreasonable to have someone babysit her 24/7 so where does she want to hang out on her own?

It does sound as if she's a bit unwelcome at yours though. Maybe it's an unfair conclusion but you do appear a bit keen to palm her off.

Usernamegone · 11/04/2015 10:32

At 15 I was sat at home during weeks of study leave by myself whilst my parents went to work.

What does your DD want to do during the holidays? What are her hobbies? Is there anything sporty or arty she likes to do?

MyballsareSandy · 11/04/2015 10:33

14!! Wow, she doesn't need child care, she should be organising meet ups with friends during school hols.

clam · 11/04/2015 10:33

"Needs to be kept entertained?" Shock Fuck that, she's 14 fgs.

Original poster
AnnField · 11/04/2015 10:34

Haha busted by LtEve - this is a reverse.

My gob was well and truly smacked when I overheard the phone conversation last night. DP hasn't actually discussed it with me because he knows my answer will be no.

Thanks everyone for your input - my own view is that 14 year olds don't need childcare but as I don't have my own children I wanted to see if iwbu about that.

OP posts:
jelliebelly · 11/04/2015 10:34

YABU nothing to do with his girlfriend. Dh and I both work full time our children do a variety of things over the holidays - some with us some without but my eldest is only 9 - at 14 dd should be able to entertain herself.

LowryFan · 11/04/2015 10:35

As I read this all I could hear was Beep Beep Beep. This Thread Is Reversing.

shewept · 11/04/2015 10:35

Considering exlt post I think that the OP is attempting a reverse. The dd isn't hers she is the gf. Presumably she feels her dad mum isn't caring for her own child enough during the summer holidays and the mum has said she needs to take time off to help out.

needaholidaynow · 11/04/2015 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shewept · 11/04/2015 10:36

Crosspost with OP

Kampeki · 11/04/2015 10:36

YAB utterly and unbelievably U. If this is not a reverse, you sound completely nuts.

She is 14. Why can't she entertain herself for a few days a week? And what are you going to be doing on those days anyway?

Stealthpolarbear · 11/04/2015 10:37

why the girlfriend then op

sosix · 11/04/2015 10:37

Yabvu. Why should the gf babysit your dd?

Anyway, shes 14, she really doesn't need babysitting and certainly not entertaining!!!

Your ex does every weekend? Wow.

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