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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
Marcipex · 10/04/2015 21:38

Yes, it's awful, and no, you can't say so. You missed the moment to exclaim 'Chow mein??!!' when they first told you.

Too late now.

Years ago a neighbour chose Imogen for his first born, it wasn't a well known name then, and they pronounce it with a hard G , as in gun. It was very hard not to say anything.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/04/2015 21:38

yabu. not your place nor business to pass comment
Also if you do say you don't like the name. She'll probably have it out of spite. An old friend of mine called her dd Lily. Which I think is the most horrible girls name ever. I wouldn't have dreamed of passing a comment though

anorakgirl · 10/04/2015 21:40

I can't believe the snobbery on this thread. What a bunch of utter idiots.

YouTheCat · 10/04/2015 21:43

It's their baby and their choice. I can't see you saying anything to them, however nicely put, will go down well.

Leave them be. They might even change their minds before the baby arrives and then you'll have made a twat of yourself over nothing.

FennyBridges · 10/04/2015 21:44

Sure they aren't winding you up?

RusticBlush · 10/04/2015 21:45

You shouldn't say anything to them - its their choice!!
I don't particularly like the name but I'm sure some people won't like my children's names - each to their own I say..yabvu.

Original poster
horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 21:45

My first thought was 'chow mein', I wish I had said something in the moment now.

Sorry to drip feed but what makes it worse is rather than using her maiden name for professional purposes and then taking DB surname after marriage, SIL decided to double-barrel her surname after they got married. So I am assuming the baby will be Chemaine Surname-Surname.

OP posts:
Original poster
horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 21:46

Charmaine*

OP posts:
Ebayaholic · 10/04/2015 21:46

Thanks Maud, I loved the name Liesl too, and the actress who played her. Didn't know that about Plummer....yuck!

tippytappywriter · 10/04/2015 21:47

This is why many people keep their name choice secret till after birth. YABU

Smooshface · 10/04/2015 21:48

Do not tell them it is terrible. What a horrible thing to do :( Picking baby names is bloody hard. The only people mean about my kid's names have been both granddad's, but their suggestions were not better!

YouTheCat · 10/04/2015 21:49

I knew a Liesl at school. She had a really bad lisp, poor girl. Sad

OVienna · 10/04/2015 21:49

This is a joke OP surely.

Feminine · 10/04/2015 21:49

Pronounced properly, it is a really pretty name.
Your sister in law is not saying it correctly.
Only you will know if they are the type of couple that would prefer to know. :)

hedgehogsdontbite · 10/04/2015 21:50

Seems like a normal name to me. I guess I'm another one who doesn't get the angst Confused.

ConcreteElephant · 10/04/2015 21:51

How on earth does a double-barrelled surname make it worse?

Are you on the wind-up? If not, you are over-invested, it's none of your business, leave them alone, you aren't coming across at all well.

GettingSaggyWithIt · 10/04/2015 21:52

Charmaine with a french ch is bad enough, but with a ch is bloody awful.You could buy some charmin bog roll as a hint. If that makes me a snob, fine. I also don't like names like Siobhan being spelt Shivone.

PrettyPenguin · 10/04/2015 21:53

Perhaps you should point out in passing that it sounds just like the loo roll brand, Charmin? Might put them off a bit?

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 10/04/2015 21:54

Your poor poor sil op.

mysteryfairy · 10/04/2015 21:54

How bizarre. A normal if slightly dated name and the people I know called it are utterly normal. One of them, a young professional woman, even has a unique spelling and quite a quirky surname now I think about it and the name still never impinged on my consciousness as remotely remarkable.

hazeyjane · 10/04/2015 21:55

ffs, what a load of snobby bullshit.

squoosh · 10/04/2015 21:56

I had was in tears earlier, this is just an awful situation and I almost feel I have to say something to protect DN's future.

Holy smokes.

May the Lord preserve us from SIL's who feel 'duty bound' to poke their noses in where not needed in order to look after their poor bullied brother's best interests.

Pull yourself together woman.

Only1scoop · 10/04/2015 22:00

Missed the 'been in tears' post Confused

What a load of tosh

Weird

temperamentalamongcorvids · 10/04/2015 22:00

Yanbu, it's an awful name. (Sorry to pp saddled with it)

But ywbu to say anything. Just smile and maybe buy an expensive bear rather than engraved toothing.

temperamentalamongcorvids · 10/04/2015 22:01

Toothmug.

Fucksake.