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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
anorakgirl · 10/04/2015 21:13

And 'awful situation'? You need to get out more love.

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 10/04/2015 21:14

quit some opinions here just show exactly what these people are like in RL.

Ebayaholic · 10/04/2015 21:14

I'm sure there was a charmaine in the sound of music.... As a pre-teen I loved the name and vowed my first DD would take it. YABU.

HangingInAGruffaloStance · 10/04/2015 21:15

Fucking hell, you are not painting yourself in a good light, particularly with the most recent post.

Maybe your SIL has different tastes and opinions from you? It might not be the nicest name but it is unremarkable. Your DB is an adult and doesn't need you to create and fight battles for him!

Maybe your SIL wouldn't like to call her kids Cordelia or Jocasta or whatever you have in mind. It comes across loud and clear that you think SIL is below you. Maybe she enjoys playing up to that??

SoupDragon · 10/04/2015 21:15

Are you Katie Hopkins?

richthegreatcornholio · 10/04/2015 21:15

Council estate chic. Nasty.

Justusemyname · 10/04/2015 21:17

Protect her future?! What will you do if she's not academic and ends up doing a job you deem beneath your special family?Hmm

Ebayaholic · 10/04/2015 21:17

Oops just googled and it was Charmian. Ignore me please.

(Pours more Baileys)

Justusemyname · 10/04/2015 21:18

Protect her future?! What will you do if she's not academic and does a Job you deem beneath your special family? Hmm

Nancyclancy · 10/04/2015 21:18

It's too bad and you're going to have to get used to the name. Its their baby and what they decide to name her is completely their decision.

It's hardly the end of the world and to be in tears over it, is a bit of an over reaction.

usualsuspect333 · 10/04/2015 21:18

I think this is a wind up thread. Is there an invasion?

treaclesoda · 10/04/2015 21:19

I'm a bit baffled by the 'these types of names' comment.

I've never known anyone to so much as raise an eyebrow at the name Charmaine. I had no idea it was regarded with so much horror by some. Surely it's not really such a common name, in any age group, as to leave people with particularly strong feelings about it?

ConcreteElephant · 10/04/2015 21:22

In tears? Awful situation? Protect her future?

Now you are bordering on hysterical. They aren't calling her Hitler ffs. It's a perfectly nice name. You're effectively writing her off before she's even born - way to go Auntie Horrified.

dangerrabbit · 10/04/2015 21:24

YABU

Not your business to judge other people's name choice, even your DB's.

MaudGonneAway · 10/04/2015 21:24

Ebay, she was Charmian - the actress who played Liesl. Apparently Christopher Plummer spent the whole shoot hitting on her. Which would be a bit creepy from the guy playing your dad. In lederhosen. Grin

SilentBob · 10/04/2015 21:26

I live in the middle of- note the 'middle of', not 'backing onto'- a council estate at this present moment.

I have met one Charmaine in my life.

I met her at my all-girls fee-paying grammar school. So not in the midst of my obviously lower class than thou neighbours.

Not in-keeping with your views regarding the potential name of your much-longed-for niece, OP? Shame.

bishboschone · 10/04/2015 21:28

I had a friend with this name . She was called chow mein all throughout her life !!!

PtolemysNeedle · 10/04/2015 21:30

Charmian wasn't just in Shakespeare, cleopatra really did have an attendant with that name. I think they were related somehow.

phoenixrose314 · 10/04/2015 21:30

You can always buy chop sticks as a birth present. PMSL!!!

Of course you can't tell them - it's their baby. But you can be as privately judgey as you like.

Viviennemary · 10/04/2015 21:30

I don't think it's that bad tbh. It's not what I would choose but I've heard a lot worse on MN. If the baby isn't born yet the most you can do is to say a hmmmmmmm not sure about that one are there any other names you like.

unholyalliance · 10/04/2015 21:31

As a very small child your niece is unlikely to care much. As an older child, her peers- all ellies, sophies, avas, lotties- will not, likely, think of it as a name with 'baggage' ( though their parents might). As a young woman, Charmaine may find her name a popular choice amongst her friends' children. These things are cyclicalWink.
I speak as someone born in the seventies and given what was then regarded as a dull, old fashioned name-probably felt to be a rather inscrutable choice by my parents' peers. Growing up, I felt it was quite old fashioned, and I disliked my name. It is now very popular (grr), described as 'classic' and people regularly remark that it is a lovely name ( now, since it is popular!)

I suppose my point is that whilst I'm not a fan of the name Charmaine, I think you principally dislike it for the wrong reasons? It is somewhat out of fashion, neither popular nor appropriately ' different'. You are making assumptions about what people will think of your DB and SIL based on the name they have chosen. It's about you really, not the baby.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 10/04/2015 21:31

You can't say anything!

I think you can only openly criticise a name if it is offensive or along the lines of Myra / Adolf infamous. Or if the surname gives an unfortunate connotation eg Rose West

Otherwise it's just a matter of having different tastes

Only1scoop · 10/04/2015 21:32

Yabu

Awful name though ....chavtastique

badtime · 10/04/2015 21:33

I am an immense snob, and even I see nothing wrong with 'Charmaine'.

It is a bit dated, but it is surely uncommon enough (9 in England & Wales in 2013) to not even have any sort of current reputation as the other sort of common? It wouldn't be my choice, but I genuinely don't see why it fills so many people with horror. It's not like it's 'Chharmaeyn' or something.

Obviously, it would be naicer if they used Charmian or Charmion (ancient Greek name), but I think a lot of people would actually think that was the 'chavvy' yoo-neek spelling.

I would bring something up about the pronunciation, though.

MsRinky · 10/04/2015 21:35

I have a lovely elegant and successful friend called Chemaine, although she was known as Chow Mein all through school.