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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 10/04/2015 22:06

The loo roll is Charmin. "Welcome to the playful side of toilet paper. Where we believe going to the bathroom should be enjoyed — and even celebrated!"

Not Charmaine.

AmysTiara · 10/04/2015 22:06

What's with all the horror over the name? It's pretty similar to Charlotte.

Anyway not sure I believe this as I think you've taken it a bit far OP with the "being in tears" and the double barrelled surname disgust. Ah well.

squoosh · 10/04/2015 22:09

'Saddled'. Pft. Good way to insult to pp called Charmaine even further.

SwirlyThingAlert · 10/04/2015 22:10

It's hideous, but it's also nothing to do with you. Their baby, their choice. Don't tell them out, butt out and say nothing.

MaudGonneAway · 10/04/2015 22:11

I was in tears earlier myself, but that was because I stepped on a wasp and now have a foot the size of a basketball. Not because I dislike my nephew and nieces' names.

Do you have children, OP? How would you feel if you announced the name of a new baby, your DB and SIL drew you aside and said you needed to get a grip, you risked making yourself and them a laughing stock with an insanely pretentious name?

AGirlCalledBoB · 10/04/2015 22:12

Do not say anything even if you feel it is the most dreadful name in the world.

My sil told everyone who would listen that the name we chose was boring and too ordinary. We still went ahead with it but even now we both think she is a cow and it diffo made my oh see his sister in another light.

neverletgojack · 10/04/2015 22:12

Maud I feel for you, I did that last summer. little bastards they attack from all angles!

W0rldCrashing · 10/04/2015 22:15

My best friend called her daughter Aisha. I still struggle to not ask her why she chose it. Aisha... ffs

JustCallMeDory · 10/04/2015 22:15

Not that naice an upbringing, OP, if you blithely write 'my brother and myself' Wink

Vijac · 10/04/2015 22:16

Have the said that is the babies definite name or that it's on the short list. If it's the latter then I think it's all up for debate, presumably they're telling you to get your feedback. If the former then I think unfortunately you have to keep schtum. But don't have to say you like it (they can read the silence). I liked a name and my mum said oh but that's what a certain type of kid at her college are called. It did put me off the name as I wanted a neutral name you can make your own not one that puts pre conceived notions in people's heads. I'm glad I got that info.

hazeyjane · 10/04/2015 22:16

hideous! Really!!

Wtf is wrong with Aisha??

People are weird.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 10/04/2015 22:17

Can I just say that I really love the name Maude? Couldn't get DH on board with with it.

I know a Charmaine. She's a frightfully naice interior designer.

squoosh · 10/04/2015 22:18

what makes it worse is rather than using her maiden name for professional purposes and then taking DB surname after marriage, SIL decided to double-barrel her surname after they got married. So I am assuming the baby will be Chemaine Surname-Surname.

Lawks. She sounds frightful. Such opinions this upstart SIL has about names, her own and her daughter's. Fancy keeping her own surname! Next she'll be spending her pin money on fripperies like rouge and menthol cigarettes and before you know it the front step will only be scrubbed once a week.

Hell in a handcart. Mark my words.

Only1scoop · 10/04/2015 22:20

You sound a bit peeved and perhaps a bit jealous ....

squoosh · 10/04/2015 22:20

Wasps are bastards. i'm sure they perform a very important eco function but really.............bastards.

W0rldCrashing · 10/04/2015 22:21

Aisha is (to me) very chavvy. It's right up there with Chardonnay.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/04/2015 22:22

I think that I would mention that it could sound like chow mein. But that is ALL I would say about it. I wouldn't comment on its social status, how it might impact on her life choices, whether or not you like it - just purely point out that it sounds like chow mein and leave it at that.

Charmaine isn't that bad a name in comparison with many these days - but it would be better with the soft "sch" than the hard "tch".

Charlotte3333 · 10/04/2015 22:22

Hahah squoosh that's brilliant!

My real name is Charlotte and I have a friend who calls me Charmaine. No idea why, she says it suits me better (and lots of mutual friends call me Char, so easy enough to move to Charmaine). I've been called worse. I think names are personal to the parents only and nothing at all to do with anyone else, and can't imagine for a second it will help anyone in any way for you to stick your oar in.

florascotia · 10/04/2015 22:23

OP Some experts think that Charmaine is simply a version of Charmian/Charmion. As previous posters have said, that is deeply 'respectable': Ancient Greek and also used by Shakespeare.

The form Charmaine was first used in a famous, controversial and thought-provoking play (and later film, 'What Price Glory') about the nature of war in the 1920s. So, as a name by itself, it's almost 100 years old. The original Charmaine was the romantic lead - a spirited young French woman. Nothing to be ashamed of, so far as I can see....

squoosh · 10/04/2015 22:24

Chardonnay is a joke name to me whereas I just see Aisha as Muslim name. Have never thought of it as 'chavvy'.

IsadoraQuagmire · 10/04/2015 22:24

So apparently there's a song from about 10 years ago called Charmaine. Is this the reason it's regarded as being chavvy? I only know the nice song from 1926. I can't see anything wrong with the name if it's pronounced correctly (with a sh sound, not ch) I would have thought it was just unfashionable which is better than being a common name.

NeedABumChange · 10/04/2015 22:24

YANBU.

That's awful. If you are close to your brother then have a word. What a cheap sounding name.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 10/04/2015 22:29

I don't think you're being unreasonable OP. If one of my siblings suggested that name, I would ask if they are serious (to sibling, away from partner). I'm pregnant myself and discuss names with family, it's nice to get a wider view. If you can't get a sensible opinion from family, who can tell you a name sounds like a favourite takeaway? The trouble is, some uber librels on here would say 'none of yours, stop being horrible', even if sil had suggested 'Hitler Chardonnay Herpes' as a name Confused.

Can I call Charmaine a chavvy name? I grew up on a council estate, and have a horribly chavvy name myself, I feel qualified to do so.

puddymuddles · 10/04/2015 22:29

I don't particularly like it but wouldn't call it awful. Their choice.

Yonkersdoodle · 10/04/2015 22:29

I think you're being a bit precious - maybe there's a family connection for your SIL that she hasn't mentioned to you? And going by the way names come in and out of fashion, Charmaine may end up being at the front of a new wave of other 60s/70s names like Karen, Deborah, or Kathryn - so by the time she's 25, she'll sound up to date while her friends roll their eyes about some misguided woman proposing something as hideously declasse as Isabella for her baby girl...