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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
PtolemysNeedle · 10/04/2015 20:46

What's wrong with Charmaine?

I can't get passed thinking 'chicken'. It sounds too much like chow mein, especially if pronounced with a ch.

QTPie · 10/04/2015 20:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MaudGonneAway · 10/04/2015 20:47

It's not a name I like myself, but what are your grounds for objecting? 'I am Hyacinth Bucket's daughter and your baby's chavvy name is bringing our lower-middle-class-aspirational fragrant family into disrepute?'

After all, your brother had the same upbringing as you, and he's presumably happy with the name?

Alternative suggestion - they are having a joke at your expense and said they were calling the baby this just to see your ill-concealed horror? It's really going to be called Charlotte Hippolyta.

molyholy · 10/04/2015 20:47

If one of my siblings didn't like a name I was thinking of for my dd before I had her, you can bet your bottom dollar they would have said something. More than likely would have took the piss, just as I did with some of their choices. You need the input to see variants of the name and how basically, your child could be taken the piss out if if you don't choose their name very, very carefully.

MyNameIsSuz · 10/04/2015 20:48

I don't like it but honestly I don't get what's so bad about it? And what's wrong with the spelling - isn't that how you spell it? Seems to be something a couple of us are missing.

Original poster
horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:49

Yes, nick naming the baby Chaz might be the way to go. DH is not a snob at all and even he couldn't believe it when I told him, he said "it's a bit council estate isn't it?", (the ironic thing is our house backs onto an estate and it is a perfectly nice place to live).

I feel almost duty bound to say something because I know DB would not pick this type of name and I just get the sense he isn't happy. He previously mentioned if they had a boy he would love to name him after our Grandfather - a traditional (but not old fashioned) name.

SIL has a penchant for fads and being a bit fickle. I'm worried she hasn't thought this through. Having this kind of name could negatively impact her life chances as right or wrong people will judge and make assumptions.

OP posts:
Blueskybrightstar · 10/04/2015 20:49

I still don't get what's wrong with it?

Allstoppedup · 10/04/2015 20:49

YABU to say anything.

My mum has issue with my DS's name and has made it known from the beginning. She still makes snide remarks about it now and he is 16 months old. I'm pregnant with number 2 now and she keeps feigning faux horror about the potential name it might have.

We have our reasons for loving our DS's name even though we knew it wouldn't be to everyones tastes but as she is family I find it extra hurtful and and it really makes me angry. Early on as well her comments really hit me hard and I found myself feeling really anxious when introducing my son at a time I was already feeling overwhelmed and nervous about being a new mother. For what it's worth, I don't give two stuffs anymore and my DS suits his unusual name but I don't think there is a 'nice' way to criticize someone's name choice.

daughterofliz · 10/04/2015 20:51

I wouldn't tell them I hated it, but I would probably advise them to bear in mind that it's more often pronounced the other way, and that people might get it wrong. That might be enough to make them fall out of love with it.

LittleBairn · 10/04/2015 20:52

Trying to upset your SIL up by calling the baby chaz is only going to lead to trouble and distance in your relationship with your brother and niece.
But if it makes your inner snob feel superior go ahead.

Rivercam · 10/04/2015 20:52

It's not up to you to say anything.

Names such as Sharon, Tracey etc are mocked today, but mums in the 70s must have loved them to call thier children them.

Maybe they are winding you up...!

ConcreteElephant · 10/04/2015 20:54

The baby is long awaited...

^^ This is all that matters. It's a regular name, you might not like it but she's not your baby. She's going to be your DNiece though so take off your judgy-pants and look forward to her arrival and to being a positive and loving influence in her life.

Kraggle · 10/04/2015 20:55

My nans name is Charmaine, spelt like that and pronounced 'Sharmain'

It's a bit dated (she's late 70's) but it's not the most horrible name ever.

neverletgojack · 10/04/2015 20:56

Charmaine...

she may as well call her 'chav' and get it over and done with

stubbornstains · 10/04/2015 20:56

Thing is, it'll probably have totally different connotations once little Charmaine has grown up. It's not that common nowadays. It might even have become terribly naice. After all, it is from Shakespeare, IIRC (Cleopatra's servant, I think).

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 10/04/2015 20:56

Totally agree with LittleBairne

And watch out living near that council estate op. Chavs at your door! It's catching you know. Hmm

My deepest sympathy to your sil.

treaclesoda · 10/04/2015 20:56

It's not really my cup of tea but by the reactions on this thread you'd think they were planning on calling her Syphilis, or Winnebago, or Athletes-Foot or something similarly outlandish.

But I'm maybe biased because the one Charmaine that I know is beautiful inside and out, truly one of the most wonderful people I have the privilege of knowing.

Lausarama · 10/04/2015 20:57

Yabu. What is wrong with some people!?

I would never ever say anything to anyone about their choice of baby name. It's bloody rude.

ConcreteElephant · 10/04/2015 20:57

You don't think much of your SIL do you?

I'm sure she's aware she's naming her daughter, not a kitten.

MaudGonneAway · 10/04/2015 20:58

Ah, so you 'sense' your properly brought up brother doesn't like the name he's announced as his daughter's, so it must be your 'Not Quite Our Class, Dear' SIL's idea? What, does she say 'settee' and 'serviette', too?

By all means object to the name, but do post exactly what you plan to say. As far as I can figure out it's along the lines of 'Im a snob, and thought DB was too, and you can't call your daughter Charmaine because it doesn't pass the High Court Judge rule, and anyway, what will people SAY?'

Or just tell them you plan to call her Camilla instead.

NerrSnerr · 10/04/2015 20:58

That is exactly how the Chinese food is pronounced in East Yorkshire.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 10/04/2015 20:58

Not a great name but there's worse, as indeed I heard screeched across the soft play only last week.

Of course you shouldn't say anything OP, but I reckon you know that. Grin

elQuintoConyo · 10/04/2015 20:59

Christ on a rubber bike, it's a name.

You're comjng across as an almighty snob OP. Your house backs on to an estate, but it's still a nice place to live? Wtf?

It is just a name. Fgs don't say anything to your brother or his wife. I'd keep my distance from you if I were them. It's hurtful. And none of your business.

SnookyWookyWooWoo · 10/04/2015 20:59

Not really your place to say its awful, but if they asked my opinion I would definitely not lie and pretend I liked it!

You're right it defo sounds like a chinese dish.

Maybe do what ClinkLady said and shorten it to put them off Grin - tbh they will probably fall out of love with it in the end anyways, I changed names loads of times during my first pregnancy

TheBooMonster · 10/04/2015 20:59

if they mention another name they like perhaps gush over the other name assuming it's not worse but be prepared to be ignored as it's not your decision.