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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
binspin · 10/04/2015 21:00

mn chardonnay?

Valsoldknickers · 10/04/2015 21:01

YWBU to say anything. Their baby so it's totally up to them regardless of whether you like it or not.

Everyone has an opinion. That's why I think it is better for the parents to wait until the baby is born and just announce the name then.

usualsuspect333 · 10/04/2015 21:02

If you do tell her,I hope she tells you to get fucked and to keep your snotty opinions to yourself .
What a load of snobby twats there are on MN these days.

momtothree · 10/04/2015 21:02

Friends GGD just been named Effie (hunger games) suggest that.

DragonWithAGirlTattoo · 10/04/2015 21:04

"Charmaine" is a popular song written by Ernö Rapée, with lyrics by Lew Pollack. The song was written in 1926 and published in 1927.

Levismum · 10/04/2015 21:04

You are???
Who are you to be so bloody rude about your niece?

YABU. Rude, snobbish, over stepping the mark, nasty, horrible...

IggyStrop · 10/04/2015 21:04

"negatively impact her life chances"

Are you serious!?

AuntieStella · 10/04/2015 21:04

You can't really say anything negative about a name in RL.

You could point out that mist people will 'see' the usual pronunciation (ie Sharmaine) and to ask if they are really OK with the prospect of years of explaining the variation. But even that's pushing it a bit.

And here, with the anonymity of MN, I'll say that I don't much like Charmaine, but with the standard pronunciation it's fine as someone else's choice. With a 'ch' it just sounds all wrong (irrespective of chow mein).

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 10/04/2015 21:05

It is a truly horrific name (IMO obviously!) but you really can't say anything without coming across really badly!

Asleeponasunbeam · 10/04/2015 21:05

What horrible snobby people around tonight!

It's quite pretty. And if I didn't think so, I'd say so anyway. It is not your child. Don't be so mean.

cece · 10/04/2015 21:06

I genuinely don't see what is wrong with Charmaine personally. Really pretty sounding and with nice meanings.
Am I missing something?

You would be very rude to say anything. Keep quiet and when she is born smile and say something nice.

TerryTheGreenHorse · 10/04/2015 21:07

You might not like it but it's hardly out there, I was in school with one and it caused her no problem whatsoever.

You can't stick your oar in.

Nancyclancy · 10/04/2015 21:07

Maybe they are winding you up??? It's not my fave name but it really is up to them and I don't think your opinion would make them change their minds.
I had my heart set on my dd's name and had a mixed reaction to it, but I didn't care.

Asleeponasunbeam · 10/04/2015 21:07

I would, however, subtly comment if they were spelling it Sh'mayne like someone I know.

nickelbarapasaurus · 10/04/2015 21:07

i think it's fine.

i would have to comment on the pronunciation, though, definitely shar (like charlotte)

Original poster
horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 21:07

MaudGonneAway
That is a bit harsh.

I was thinking perhaps just subtly/casually trying to confirm this was SIL idea and the gently point out to her the kind of negative connotations attached to this type of name. If nothing else we can at least correct the pronunciation problem.

I had was in tears earlier, this is just an awful situation and I almost feel I have to say something to protect DN's future.

OP posts:
ConcreteElephant · 10/04/2015 21:07

I'm feeling a bit riled by this - not usually so affected by baby name threads!

My DNiece has a very unusual name - I confess that when I was first told it my immediate thought was 'eh?, is that even a name?' BUT, the only correct response is 'how lovely' or something along those lines, even if it means thinking on your feet! I would never have criticised or commented - how upsetting for my DB would that have been?

Now she's a young teenager and if folk can't see past her name to recognise what a charming, bright, loyal and funny girl she is, well sod 'em, that's their hard luck.

KeturahLee · 10/04/2015 21:08

It's a bit dated, but plenty of people are called Charmaine and it doesn't seem to have ruined anyone's life chances Confused DS's childminder is called Charmaine!

usualsuspect333 · 10/04/2015 21:11

Oh stop being a dick OP,It's just a bloody name.

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 10/04/2015 21:11

Apparently your sil speaks very highly of you. Wink

QuitSlaggingOffMyName · 10/04/2015 21:12

I wasn't sure whether or not to post and I've name changed for obvious reasons but I'm called Charmaine (pronounce with a 'sh') and I cannot believe some of the responses on this thread and it's made me feel really judged :(
Just to be clear I didn't grow up on a council estate (and so bloody what if I did Hmm) and I think I've done okay for myself thank you very much. It's not a name I would choose for my own daughter but I was born in 1981! But go on, continue judging me based on what my parents called me 34 years ago Angry.

And OP YABU - it's none of your business!

anorakgirl · 10/04/2015 21:12

It's a name. I know at least two Charmaines. What a load of utter snobs including you OP on this thread. How dare you. So what? 'Chav' name? Nasty nasty.

Flissypix · 10/04/2015 21:12

I don't like it and if it were my family member I would probably say something like it sounds like a takeaaway food. Unless they were dead set on it and then I would say nothing. I have much younger siblings and when my mum was pregnant with my sister she picked a name I really didn't like and I said so, she chose it anyway and that was the end of it.

Topseyt · 10/04/2015 21:12

Not your place to say anything really unless perhaps asked for your opinion.

You never know, they might change their minds the minute the baby is born and they decide whether she does or doesn't look like a Charmaine.

I wouldn't have chosen the name myself. I don't massively object to it though. No strong opinion either way.

MaudGonneAway · 10/04/2015 21:12

I was about to apologise about having come across harshly, but you were in tears earlier because of a baby's name, and it's an 'awful situation'? In the nicest possible way, get a grip.

Please, what, in your opinion is the 'awful situation' here? That someone might think your niece was working class?