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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something about this choice of baby name

550 replies

horrifiednamechanger · 10/04/2015 20:33

DB and SIL are expecting their first baby. The baby is long awaited and I'm delighted for them obviously.

But, SIL they have decided to call the baby Charmaine (yes, spelt like that) and to make matters worse SIL seems to pronounce it almost 'char' rather than the kind of French style 'shar'. It almost sounds like she is ordering a take away.

Anyway upon hearing this news I had to bite my tongue so hard it practically bled. I don't think I did a very good job of hiding my horror surprise.

DB and myself have rather naice upbringing and our DM was a huge bit of a snob, not quite Hyacinth Bucket but not far off. I am fully prepared to accept I have inherited DM's views and IBU.... but I am also sure this would not be DB first or last choice of name, but he is known to 'go with the flow' and 'not cause waves' because SIL can be quite strong willed.

IABU to hate the name and WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 12/04/2015 12:29

No, it has descended into people telling you things you don't like to hear.

How would you like it if your family had interfered in your choice of baby names and tried to tell you what you should do?
How would you like it if they had bitched about how "thick" you were on an internet forum?

Not much I imagine.

RabidFairy · 12/04/2015 12:34

I think Charmaine is a lovely name.
I'm also intrigued as to what is wrong with Lottie as a nickname for Charlotte.

Enormouse · 12/04/2015 12:36

For, probably not the last time.

Op - There. Is. Nothing. Odd about the name Charmaine.

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/04/2015 12:37

I'd be very interested in the response, Surly!

Op - Charmaine is not an odd name. You're being very weird.

bigfam · 12/04/2015 12:37

Mob abuse, not our fault you're a posh s nob

Nightingalemumoftwo · 12/04/2015 12:43

Ghastly name; say something, baby will be grateful when they find out you saved them from a lifetime of a chavvy, gang-member type name.

Bettercallsaul1 · 12/04/2015 12:46

I think that the only time to express an opinion on a prospective baby name is if you are specifically asked for your opinion while the parents are in the discussion phase. Even then, though, I would be gentle!

I would never give an opinion unprompted or make my "advice" too emphatic: it is just storing up trouble if the parents decide to go for the name anyway!

People are very invested in the names they give their children and other people should beware of getting involved!

fairnotfit · 12/04/2015 13:00

This is the oddest thread I've read in a long time. Utterly barking. Do attitudes like this really exist and I'm talking about the OP, not her unfortunate SIL ?

fairnotfit · 12/04/2015 13:05

... having said that, I was a bit Shock when a friend (surname: Brown) told me he was considering the name "Ava" for his unborn DD.

I did say something along the lines of "SERIOUSLY??" but only because I thought he was joking. He wasn't. Blush

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/04/2015 13:07

fair I think that's slightly different to be fair! Did they end up calling the baby Ava?

I crossed both Eva and Ava off my list because with my surname it feels uncomfortably reminiscent of Eva Braun.

fairnotfit · 12/04/2015 13:11

No, they went for another lovely name (and Ava is a lovely name) that didn't have such unfortunate connotations!

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/04/2015 13:14

Oh good! It is a lovely name but not with that surname (or mine for that matter).

loopinthep · 12/04/2015 14:09

My daughters names are Mary and Sarah. As I've already said, I think the OP needs to butt out. My comment about Irish names is that I feel English people using oddly spelled names is not my thing. I recall people being snooty about Sharon and Tracey in the 80s.....rather than have a pop at names for reasons of perceived "class" I've simply highlighted a functional observation. you might guess from my eldest daughters name that we a Gaelic family. Ho hum!

SoupDragon · 12/04/2015 14:15

you might guess from my eldest daughters name that we a Gaelic family

Why? Confused

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 12/04/2015 14:20

There's some reet snobby judgeyarses on this thread. Their baby, their choice of name.

Charlotte3333 · 12/04/2015 14:34

horrifiednamechanger There is nothing odd AT ALL about the name. The only odd thing is that your over-inflated sense of place in your DB's life led you to stage an intervention about something which has nothing to do with you.

In your op you clearly stated "I am fully prepared to accept...IABU". Well, there's your problem. No, you're not prepared to accept that at all. What you wanted was "Oooh, how vile, what a chavvy name" and what you got was a fair few replies pointing out YWBU.

Ironic, really. You asked a forum for their opinion and because the majority don't agree with you, they're a "mob"? You don't like other's opinions, so just imagine how your DB and SIL feel about your opinions. Equally disenchanted, I'd imagine.

IsadoraQuagmire · 12/04/2015 14:43

I still don't understand how this name is "chavvy" unless I'm missing some cultural reference? Obviously pronouncing it with a ch sound would be odd.
The chow mein thing would never occur to me.

Lily No idea what Wizadora is, but most people would automatically think of Isadora Duncan. Or Isadora Quagmire in the Lemony Snicket books who is named for Isadora Duncan.
I do know 2 Isadoras, the youngest is 12.

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/04/2015 14:48

Mary = from a Gaelic family? You're going to have to help me out here, loop, I'm not getting the link.

susiedaisy · 12/04/2015 14:49

I hate it and in my neck of the woods it would be shortened to Charrrr. But it's up to them. If they ask you directly I would say it's not my favourite choice but if they don't ask then don't say anything

IsadoraQuagmire · 12/04/2015 14:51

RabidFairy I'd like to know that too. Nothing wrong with Lottie!

Valsoldknickers · 12/04/2015 15:23

"My comment about Irish names is that I feel English people using oddly spelled names is not my thing."

PP, sorry, but can you still please explain what that has to do with Irish names (which have been around and spelled as Gaeilge for hundreds if not thousands of years)? Irish names are not English and are not spelt or pronounced for the benefit of Jolly Phonics users. Not your thing, fair enough, but your first comment came out of nowhere dropped in like a hot potato and is insulting to Niamh's and Irish people.

Also, sorry to disappoint you but Mary is as Gaelic as Sharon and Tracey.

Valsoldknickers · 12/04/2015 15:25

*spelled not spelt

JustJanice · 12/04/2015 15:29

It's awful. Of course it is. But you can't really say anything.

Apart from anything else, if they haven't realised for themselves that it's awful, they're unlikely to just because someone with more sense points it out.

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 12/04/2015 16:28

JustJanice Sun 12-Apr-15 15:29:55
It's awful. Of course it is. But you can't really say anything.

Oh come on, it is not horrible, no of course about it. It is hardly like they are calling her Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.

tulipbulbs · 12/04/2015 16:30

You can't say anything. She's theirs to parent, not yours. Your sister-in-law will go through the birth and she will have ideas on child rearing etc that won't be the same as yours. If your brother isn't assertive or has compromised on this, that is for them to sort out. I get it with the importance of names but people have different priorities. My niece has an awful name. A bitch at the jewellers sneered when I asked for it to be engraved on a bangle = my brothers choice - nothing to do with me.

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